#1 My Jerk Neighbors Decided To Be Complete Drunken Fecalwads By Rolling A Giant Sandstone Boulder In Front Of My Car, But Forgot That I Am A Tiny Geologist Who Has Access To A Very Loud Auto-Chipper At 7:30 Am
That same poll by Preply we mentioned previously also asked people what phrases they deem to be the most passive-aggressive. Most respondents said that hearing things like "You're too sensitive," "Why are you getting so upset?" and "No offense, but..." trigger them the most. Shifting blame on someone else and being judgmental or patronizing seems to rub people the wrong way the most.
The workplace is where most Americans experience passive aggression. 73% of the respondents in the Preply survey said so, yet, at the same time, 52% admitted being passive-aggressive themselves. The most annoying phrases coworkers and managers use are "As you are no doubt aware...," "For future reference," and "Friendly reminder."
In her book Getting Along, workplace expert Amy Gallo identified eight types of 'difficult' people. Interestingly, passive-aggressive people ranked as the number one worst. "They'll appear to comply with the needs of others, but will then passively resist following through. Or they might use indirect methods to express their thoughts and feelings, so their intentions are never entirely clear," she writes.
For many, coworkers are the most passive-aggressive people they communicate with. But others also experience passive-aggressive behaviors from family members and friends. 18% of the respondents in the Preply survey said that their mothers are the people who usually talk to them in a passive-aggressive manner. For 16%, it was their friends.
We sought to find out why people engage in passive-aggressive behavior, so we reached out to certified personal coach Karen Edwards. She explains that for those who do it, snarky comments and indirect communication seem like the safest way to communicate.
"They may fear direct conflict and hope that subtle hints will lead to change without confrontation," she explains. "Some believe they're still 'kind' as long as they don't use harsh words, even if their tone or actions convey frustration."
#8 Coworker Left This In The Break Room Today With His Name And Phone Number. Bold Move
People may also resort to passive-aggressive comments when they don't know how to express their needs and emotions effectively. "Passive-aggressive behavior provides a layer of plausible deniability—they can always claim they didn't mean anything by it since they never explicitly said it," Edwards explains.
#12 Just Started At A New Shop And This Work Of Art Was Left Above My New Work Station
Karen Edwards says that passive-aggressiveness is survival-driven. She describes it as a safety mechanism that feels comfortable in the moment, but "ultimately leads to self-sabotage."
"It prevents you from developing the ability to feel and express emotions in a healthy way and damages relationships by creating confusion—your words say one thing, but your energy communicates something else," the personal coach points out.
#14 My Neighbor Took These Without Asking So I Took Them Back And Placed Them In My Front Yard For Free
One way to battle your own passive-aggressive behavior is with mindfulness. As Karen points out, it reminds us that we're more than just our survival brain. "It allows you to observe your thoughts, recognize reactive patterns, and make intentional choices rather than defaulting to passive-aggressive behaviors," the personal coach says. "By practicing mindfulness, you gain the ability to respond with clarity and authenticity instead of letting fear or discomfort dictate your actions."
#16 Kids Are Having Fun With Friends So A Neighbor Reported To Homeowners Association That They Must Be Running A Childcare
Passive-aggressive communication can put a serious strain on our relationships. That's why Karen has some tips on how to communicate honestly and respectfully. That way, expressing frustrations can strengthen relationships instead of causing tension.
First, she suggests using 'I' statements. "Express your feelings without blame. For example, instead of saying, 'You never clean up,' say, 'I feel frustrated when the kitchen is messy because it makes it harder for me to cook.'"
