50 Times Strangers Forgot They Were In Public And Said The Most Unhinged Things (New Pics)

Girl 1: Are you [Name]?

Girl 2: Yeah.

Girl 1: Hi! I'm your math tutor.

Girl 2: Oh! You're cute! I'd totally date you, but I'm not a lesbian.

Girl 1: Thanks! I'd date you, too, but I'm straight, and I have a boyfriend.

Two teenage girls sitting across the aisle from me.

Girl 1: "I love trips. We should take a road trip to Hawaii this summer!"

Girl 2: "You are such an idiot. You don't even have your driver's license yet!"

I was at a graduation party for my best friend when she graduated high school in '07, and a boy she was hanging out with at the time was there. He had to use my friend's house phone to call his mom and the last thing he said to her before hanging up was "I'm a grown a** man, mom, I'll skateboard home!" We still use that to this day.

I once walked by a group of girls in the mall and overheard one girl say, "...and that's why I don't roller skate and read anymore."

I was just on an international flight and the dude sitting behind me was talking to another woman. She asked him why he was in Europe and he said it was for a UN summit (or something). Then she asked him if there was any good news that came out of that, he just sighed and said "No".

This happened the other day at my restaurant. Not really weird just a hilarious dad moment. Young kid: "I heard today that one of the members of One Direction left the band" Dad: "Does that now make them Two Directions?" Classic dad joke right there.

A woman was planning her dog’s birthday party, and was debating which dogs to invite since some of the dogs didn’t get along with her dog.

In Costco and they had giant crab for sale Little girl: dad what do they eat Dad: Little girls called Megan.

At the Museum of Natural History, looking up at the Blue Whale hanging from the ceiling:

"Wow! How does that whale fit in the ocean?!"

Not mine, but my friend's story.

She was playing PUBG with a bunch of random people and one of the dude's mom goes "ARE YOU TALKING TO A GIRL?" in the most dramatic voice and then he disappeared. The other dude went like "Oh man, let's pray for his soul".

Little girl next to me at the zoo looking at the Pandas: "Mom, when I grow up I want to be bamboo."

2 girls on the bus sitting in front of me start talking about a date that one of them had recently been on, one of them says "and then he stuck his hand up my skirt" and her friend says "the one with the stripes on it?"

Dude 1: "What time does the beer store close?"
Dude 2: "10:00"
Dude 1: "What time is it now?"
Dude 2: "10:15"
Dude 1: "We'll never make it."

Years ago, I worked in the dairy department of a grocery store. From time to time, we would have sales in which the price of a half gallon of milk was less than half the price of a gallon of milk. I was never quite sure why we sold any gallon jugs during those periods, until one day while restocking, I overheard this gem:

Lady 1: Oh look, a sale on half gallons!

Lady 2: Hmm... how many half gallons are in a gallon?

Lady 1: (without missing a single beat) Four.

Lady 2: F***ing (store name)!

I can overstate neither the speed with which Lady 1 replied to her friend, the confidence in her own answer, nor the immediacy with which the second lady both believed her and cursed my workplace. It was a thing of beauty.

I’ve bartended but my favorite conversation was overhead while I was on the other side of the bar. “Look all I’m saying is Grand Theft Auto severely ruined our generations perception of how many police helicopters exist” Sounded like they were getting really heated over the matter haha.

"Should we take a shopping cart?"

With complete seriousness, the person responds,

"You never know how much a 10 pound turkey is going to weigh"

Three years ago I was walking through the international terminal at the airport towards the gate. A man walking quickly with his luggage and talking on his phone (in a serious tone) said into the phone, "Yeah man, I did it. I quit my job and I'm running away to Thailand!"

'Ah man I smell today. You know you get those days where you jump in the shower but just forget to wash?'

'No. I don't. what the hell?!'

A customer is on the phone in the middle of the bar, not too crowded but a long bar. Guy couldn't have been more than 25. I go to help someone at the end of the bar and on my way back I overhear:
"No, I don't care! She's my sister, she is THIRTEEN and there is no reason she should be doing c*****e! At all!"
Gave him a few drinks on the house that night.

I lived in a working class area and the 7-11 on the weekends would produce hours of entertainment…. Mom to kids: “stop acting low income”.