At this point, the number combination of 20 and 20, aka 2020, the year the world went nuts, is a joke in itself. And quite a good one. But in case you were out and about on Elon Musk’s SpaceX and haven’t enjoyed all the tragi(comedic) fun that has been going on for the past… since January 1st, we invite you to sit back for an open mic.
We hand-picked the funniest jokes from the r/jokes subreddit that has been getting 500 or more puns, one-liners, and witticisms every day from its 18.9M members. It’s like an online comedy cellar on its own that has been helping people to “Get Your Funny On!” since it was launched in 2008.
This year, however, has been particularly fruitful for r/jokes. I mean, do ya seriously need an explanation why?
#1
My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel.
My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.
My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.
Report
369points
#2
The president of the US is threatening to send the military to suppress US citizens.
Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.
Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.
Report
355points
#3
My wife left me because I am insecure
No wait, she's back. She just went to get coffee
No wait, she's back. She just went to get coffee
Report
340points
#4
Last night my girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed…
2 minutes later she told me all the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.
2 minutes later she told me all the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.
Report
317points
#5
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?
In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.
In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.
Report
306points
#6
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
Report
293points
#7
America seems to have successfully prevented a second wave of corona
By keeping the first one going
By keeping the first one going
Report
283points
#8
Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump...
But that’s comparing apples to oranges.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges.
Report
283points
#9
A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood bank
The rabbit says : I think I might be a type O.
The rabbit says : I think I might be a type O.
Report
281points
#10
If "womb" is pronounced "woom", "tomb" is pronounced "toom" then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "BOOM" I hope that blew your minds
Report
274points
#11
I just discovered that the word "nothing" is a palindrome...
Backwards it spells "gnihton", which also means nothing.
Backwards it spells "gnihton", which also means nothing.
Report
272points
#13
They told me i wouldn’t be good at poetry because i’m dyslexic
But so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase and they are lovely.
But so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase and they are lovely.
Report
257points
#14
Do you want to know why the republicans won't impeach Trump?
Because they believe in carrying a baby to full term.
Because they believe in carrying a baby to full term.
Report
248points
#15
Dude 1: Hey, bro?
Dude 2: Yeah bro?
Dude 1: Can you pass me that pamphlet?
Dude 2: Brochure
Report
247points
#16
My wife just completed a 40 week body building program this morning
It's a girl and weighs 7lbs 12 oz
It's a girl and weighs 7lbs 12 oz
Report
230points
#17
Today I was invited by a female janitor to smoke some weed at her apartment, but i politley declined.
I can’t deal with high maintenance women.
I can’t deal with high maintenance women.
Report
228points
#18
My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther
He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
Report
225points
#19
My roommate says our house is haunted
I've been living here for 300 years and i havnt noticed [crap]
I've been living here for 300 years and i havnt noticed [crap]
Report
220points
#20
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."
I know he means well.
I know he means well.
Report
214points