Hey Pandas, When Was The First Time You Realized That You Might Have A Mental Illness? (Closed)

When I -The Supreme Overlord of the Universe- noticed that not all local women chant, bow down, and throw little pickles at me whenever I enter their realm. Quite depressing for a humble narcissist, let me tell ya...

I was 15 and got fully drunk for the first time. My father had just died from alcoholism and I didn't know how to deal with the pain and grief. After I threw up into the trash can. I thought I could drink my vomit and get drunk again. I will leave it up to your imagination whether I drank it or not😀. I realized then that I am an alcoholic.

I thought about suicide. Needless to say I have depression. Haven't told anyone. I'm always sad.

When my mom asked me to deliver something to the neighbors and I just couldn't do it. That was the first time I thought about anxiety.

I was on the bus home from school and that day in one of my classes there was an article about anxiety disorders in a time passing magazine that I was reading. I realized that I had a lot of the symptoms in the article and I looked up anxiety disorders and just realized I had one.

When I first visited my therapist. She confirmed that I had anxiety and well....her reaction to my OCD was "oh, that's strange". Lol

Warning: this may be very triggering for some people.

I didn’t really think ‘oh, this could be a mental health disorder’ when I first started self-harming.

Actually, I didn’t even consider the fact I could have anything ‘wrong’ with me until.. I think it was the 14th suicide attempt? I can’t remember.

My mental health was just absolute s**t, but I kept ignoring that, because I didn’t want anything to be ‘wrong’ with me.

It was a few months ago I decided I needed to get some help - when I first started hearing the voices.

Last night... I don’t really know how to explain this, but the voices (there’s two of them - one has a really sad and whispery voice, the other one has a really loud and somewhat hoarse voice) kept telling me to pour paint over everything in my room, if I did then they’d leave me alone. Y’know, at first I tried to ignore them, but... s**t, I’m bad at explaining, but I was fully aware of what I was doing.. but I couldn’t really control it? Idk. Anyway, ended up listening to the voices. And they didn’t leave me alone after that, either.

After the paint ‘incident’, I decided I f*****g had enough, so I spoke to childline.

It didn’t really help, but it did make me think ‘hey, I probably have a mental health disorder’.

So... fun.

Wgen I realised being nervous almost all the time isn't normal. And I'm too nervous to talk about it... 😑

After I had a burnout I got therapy. They told me I might have adhd. I didn't believe them. But I went to an adhd group anyway. When I heard all the stories,I realised I did have adhd.

I got so angry at my 2yr old so for getting out of his bed before the end of nap time that I picked him up and threw him bk into the bed. At least I meant to. Instead I threw him into the wall. He wasn’t hurt. But I knew I was in trouble at that moment. I’d always had anger issues but was able to manage it more often then not. When it effected my son in such a dramatic way I had to do something about it. I told my husband to take care of our son and walked out the door, drove directly to the docs office, (family doc gp knew her forever) and had bloody palms from digging my nails into them by the time I got to see her. Told her I needed help. She handed me a sample pack of pills told me how to take them and said come bk in three days. ( She also called my husband to check on my son and make sure I wasn’t abusing him. She had him bring my son in to check him out but I didn’t know any of that for years. I’m grateful she did it though). This all happened almost exactly 26 years ago and I have been on antidepressants for anger ever since and very successfully.

When I was in my early 20’s and didn’t understand why I didn’t feel good at work. Turns out I was having panic attacks, but didn’t recognize the symptoms. I was also diagnosed with hyperthyroid and was dealing with generalized anxiety disorder. Take care of yourself and don’t give up trying to make yourself feel better with anxiety! I had to have my thyroid removed which caused some of the anxiety, but I also had to advocate for myself since some people think medicine is still taboo. 1 therapist, 2 kinds of anxiety meds and -1 thyroid and I’m doing so much better! You deserve to feel better!!

When I was stuck in the house unable to leave, scared of the phone ringing or the door knocking, absolutely convinced that "they" were watching me coming for me. I daren't make a sound or use lights. I don't know how long I spent stumbling around with the curtains closed and the lights off. Positive that every sound was proof of my impending doom.

I had slight depression symptoms and I always habe disturbing gory thoughts(My parents say I have a vivid imagination though)

When I kept reading Exit books ("The peaceful pill", "Five last acts") cover to cover with the same devotion as a travel catalogue, I realised I'd better ask for help. Interesting reading, though.

not sure what this would be called but my mom leaves me home alone all the time and i hate it because i always feel the 'thing' is coming its wating i hide behind the bean bag i got for my birthday so it cant see me