Hey Pandas, When Did You Realize It's Time To Let Go Of A Friendship? (Closed)

Friends for nearly 50 years, all told. I was there for her for 3 divorces and the death of her father, whom she adored, plus her children's nightmare teen years. She moved out of state for work but we talked on the phone about once a week--until she met husband number 4. My mother died. Not a phone call or a card. In fact, I hadn't heard from her in nearly 3 years, then suddenly, a tearful voicemail. Turns out husband number 4 walked out. I deleted her number. Sorry, but my shoulders are exhausted.

When I made them a priority but they treated me like an option

I had Covid. She told me that it was nature's way of dealing with overpopulation.

The friend 9in question was in financial distress. Begging for help control her finances. So I spent 2-3 hours going over everything she owed, her income, blah blah, and wrote her a weekly budget. Had she followed it she would have been out of debt in 6 months. She didn't follow it, and then confessed that she had been treasurer for a club of some kind and had "lost" the money and had to pay it back. At some point I loaned her some money, with the clear understanding that it had to be payed back. It may have been for the treasurer thing. And I did her finances a second time. She was begging for help still.
Finally it was winter. She only had a space heater that she was afraid to use at night, and I needed to go out of town for about 3-4 days. I told her she could pet sit for me, come up in the evening, stay over night. Be warm while you're there. Here are the bags to put the scooped out cat litter. And you debt will be paid that you owe me. Came home from the road, need to pee and the toilet is clogged with cat litter. Deliberately.
If you want or need help, you have to be willing to actually try and help yourself.
She just wanted freebies. I asked her why she used the toilet for the cat poop instead of the bags, we were in my car. She just stuck her nose in the air and turned to look out the window. Never answered verbally. Or apologized. Some people can't be helped. Never spent time with her again.

When her fake mental illnesses and fake gayness were all revealed. She was just a attention grabbing straight bitch who broke my best friends heart

he slowly slided more and more to the far right.

When i realized that I didn't enjoy being around them

I had a friend from 2nd grade up until we graduated high school. She was really controlling. I would make new friends or start a new hobby/sport and we’d fight about it. I started dating in high school and she became a bully. She was rude and demeaning. I cut ties with her at the start of summer before I started college. Best decision I ever made. I get she had her own insecurities but there was no reason to take it out on me.

When they forget ur birthday, don't thank u for gifts and generally treat you as 2nd-class....

when he became a toxic antvaxxer

I told my best friend once to get lost because he made our friendship only about him. Whatever he wanted had to be done no matter how I felt about it. I was the trash can for all his sorrows and he never once asked how I was although he knew I had a few issues myself. This went on for years and eventually I told him that I couldn‘t go on like that because I really felt used and empty. He said as his best friend I was supposed to do everything he wanted me to, otherwise I‘d lose my status as a true friend and could only be an acquaintance of little worth. That‘s when I told him I didn‘t want to see him anymore.
About a year later he called and told me that he was being in therapy (not because of me) and that his view on friendship had changed.
I was reluctant at first but then agreed to meet again. From then on (more than 10 years ago) we were friends again and still are.

It was when my "friend" decided to pick money over friendship. There was no situation where he had to "choose" between me and money, but there were tons of situations where this person thought about money more than about others.

When they don't vaccinate.

My father passed away March 6th 2021 and my “bestie” never once texted, emailed, called, nor visited me. She didn’t even send flowers! So about a month after my father passed and I found the courage to do it I wrote her a heartfelt text telling her I was letting the friendship go and explained how it hurt me she couldn’t even take a minute to send a simple text. I wished her well and haven’t talked to her since. Sometimes the trash takes itself out as they say.

When I realized we can never talk about me more than one sentence. And when ever she asked how am I doing it was only so that I would ask back and she would get to tell about her news and then we'd talk about her thing obviously. She did that for a while and I tested out how badly does my life have to go until she would care but even after I developed a chronic illness and the same happened.. still talked about her:::)))

This may seem small, and some people may think I was small in handling it, but pointing it out just pi$$€d her off and she'd get all defensive about it. "Very frequently" when this friend and I would plan to get together, she would cancel at the very last moment. A really lame excuse for doing so. As in while I'm heading out the door and I had to switch shifts with someone to get the evening off in the first place. Well, at times I can be a backatcha person, depending on the circumstances. One evening I did it back and cancelled at the last minute. Did I ever get a tongue lashing from her about my disrespecting her time and having no consideration for her for doing it at the last minute. Oh. Its ok for you to do that to me repeatedly, but just once you get to experience my end of it and you freak out about it and tell me off in no uncertain terms. I explained why I did it. It did not register with her at all. Just kept telling me off for that one time she was on the receiving end. This "friendship" ended right there. Consideration works both ways. I'd say that the scales were grossly uneven. Outa here.

We were friends for 8 years. She grew into a really controlling and emotionally manipulative person. Every time I tried to make space or take a break from hanging out with her, she couldn’t let me have time to myself. We haven’t been friends for 5 months and I couldn’t be happier!!

I was helping her pack up her things to move into storage for the summer holiday at university, and discovered that she had a whole box of things that she had stolen from other people (myself included).

When you have to (*Hypothetically) commit a crime in order to help your friend and it becomes a reoccurring theme, once you find you can't be bothered any more it probably time to call it a day.

Through Facebook I had reconnected with an old high school friend and we had stayed in touch and even met up and hung out a few times. This guy was one of my best friends when we were kids and it felt great to have my old friend back. Then one day I posted on Facebook a story I saw where one of those Duck Dynasty a-holes said gays should be tortured or something to that effect, I actually think the article said the bearded bigot wanted them killed. I posted the article with a can you believe there are still people out there that think like this. My old friend responded where he didn't see what was wrong with what Duck Dynasty said. That was it for me I don't think I even responded to that. I shut down my Facebook a little while after that because I didn't want to associate with people like that or run the risk of that happening again.