Hey Pandas, What's The Weirdest Out-Of-Context Thing You've Heard? (Closed)

"I DONT HAVE TIME TO BE DEPRESSED TODAY EMILY"

"Oh no, that part of me isn't tickly anymore"
HE WAS TALKING TO HIMSELF NOBODY WAS THERE

"He has a gun, but that's easy to dodge, it's the cards I'm scared of."
"How are you dying to cards?"
"They're hard to dodge?"
"AND A GUN ISN'T?!"

“The masculine urge to rub my d*ck with sandpaper.”

Like wtf was the conversation about??? 💀

"GRAPEFRUIT!"
-wise words of Some Kid in the Emergency Room
Later, I learned from a friend about a trick he learned as a kid: When you're about to sneeze, put your finger under your nose and say grapefruit...

"I WILL PUT A SCALP/ITALIAN JAPANESE MAFIA BOSS WHO PUT ONIONS IN PASTA EATING FOREST LIZARD IN YOUR BED IF YOU DON'T FREAKING SHUT YOUR FACE HOLE!"

Not me but a friend overheard someone say:
“I wanna have sex with that pickup truck”

BECAUSE OF THE FRICKING TIDE PODS!

"No! Then go to the bathroom!"

“Nobody cares about your knowledge”- wise words by my wise teacher during a conversation with some classmate

I have many sayings that are funny without context as well with context.

"You did grow boyfriends in your bathtub once."
"1977: when dinosaurs went extinct."
"Waves not serial killers."
"Y'all aren't seals nor birds."
"I'm a f*****g emo Irishman, leave me alone"
"I feel like a king and a peasant at the same time."

"Just lick it and stick it in"

- My last year's magnet teacher

Me and my bsf have an entire list lol. Here’s some
Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to run you over
Do you mind if I murder someone next to you?
Ohh so that’s why you were dead
Nice I wouldn’t mind throwing a baby or two
Don’t eat macaroni and cheese off my toes

The people at my school are very strange.

"Is sawdust magnetic?"

"I PROMISE everyone had their clothes on. I promise."

Anything can be taken out of context, if you try hard enough.

I was doing an online study course and someone unmuted on a zoom call and asked if anyone had ever licked a public toilet

I heard two voices talking about their pregnancy and giving birth. I walked around the corner and it was two men. Very confusing