Hey Pandas, What's The One Lesson You Wish Your Parents Taught You As A Child? (Closed)

How to speak the language that half of my family speaks all the time. Some extended relatives don’t even speak english! Now I have to learn myself and it’s so much harder.

That it is not ok to put other people down, no matter how different from you they are.

i wish they had told me that it's ok to have some standards or expectations in relationships.
I have been told that should be grateful if anyone ever wants to spend time with me, since I'm "so difficult" and just "an intense person".
It's probably right, I think I am indeed too intense and somewhat hard to be around.

But still.
When I was with my first boyfriend, I never said no to anything. "Why would he still want to spend time with me, of I don't do what he likes?" is what i thought back than. I avoid relationships now since that didn't work out too well.
If anything bothers me, I don't dare to talk about it. So my friendships tend to be exhausting for me and than they fail. "why would they want to spend time with me if i complain?" is what i think now.

I can't seem to find a way out of this.

I’m a twin. My sister was the perfect kid: straight A student, popular, outgoing, well-adjusted, beautiful. I was always in her shadow. I still am. I wish they would have taught me that success, beauty, and quirks have many faces. I still struggle with self esteem and it created a wedge between us for a long time but we’re in a better place now. Never put your kids against each other, especially twins. I wish they would have taught me just because I’m not like her, doesn’t mean I’m a failure.

I wish my parents explained to me that private colleges cost (a lot!) more than state schools. It's embarrassing to admit now, but I had no idea. No one told me! To their credit, they didn't go to college so they probably didn't know either. I grew up in a pretty poor area, the high school didn't have college prep counselors or anything, so I found this out the hard way.

That I am enough and deserve respect.

How to tie my own shoes. People make so much fun of me and my velcro strap shoes!!!!!!!

That not speaking about things doesn't mean they're not happening.

I wish my parents had taught me money and time management.

That it's a much greater feeling when people notice how smart, lovely, talented, or funny you are...without you telling them.

What to do, how to react, when I told them I was bullied at school. My mother just said I should ignore it. And how to defend myself against sexual abuse. There were two times when I was abuse by friends of the family. My father doesn't know of it. My mother does and she does nothing.

IQ and Emotional Intelligence are neither related nor interchangeable.

This simple sentence: "I'll think about it".
That one simple sentence has increased my savings more than anything else over the years. Whenever I'm tempted to buy an item on impulse in a shop or feeling pressured by the assistant, I just tell them (or myself) 'I'll think about it. 9 out of 10 times I won't go back because I don't really need that item, and money saved is as good as money earned.

Making mistakes is okay. You don't need to be perfect and you don't need to give your 100% at all time if it means you will get burn out and not be able to give at all.

Perfectionism has ruined and paralyzed my life over the years, and I'm just having to unlearn it and stop overthinking and just do it and take risks sometimes...

That everyone becomes either more or less attractive as you get to know them. Remember which you category you'd want to be in.

Kindness. Both of my parents came from rather harsh upbringings. There wasn't a lot of kindness

I wish I had been taught to budget, delay gratification, to avoid alcohol, save for retirement, be emotionally stronger. Now that I'm "older" I accept responsibility to learn and live these things, but it would have been so much easier to learn these things as a teenager or younger.

Humanity is f****d

Where the tape measure is and to use it to measure my bra size every so often. I got sent to the hospital because my bra was too tight and I was bleeding. If you think “omg how did I not notice!” It’s because it was a fairly old bra I hadn’t worn in a while but I thought it still fit. Now I measure myself like every day.

To think for yourself, and question beliefs, do your own research...then they wouldn't have joined that cult...