Hey Pandas, What's The Biggest Red Flag You've Ever Seen From Someone You Were Dating? (Closed)

He didn't apologize when late(ever). He wouldn't tell me if he wasn't coming home for the night. he would get really angry from the smallest things and just leave if he felt he was "losing" the argument. Oh and he hit me!(just once im not goin to anyone the chance to do that to me twice)

He told me his brother raped his ex-wife... then invited me out to coffee with his brother..

She would constantly insult me (mostly for my weight) and whenever I'd call her out for it, she'd either say she was joking or blame me for being sensitive

She also got real friendly with a guy (cheated on me with him on video call), but would get upset when I'd even mention other girls (I'm not allowed to have friends)

My biggest red flag was from a woman who I met online and who lived just over an hour away. She seemed really nice and agreed with a huge amount of my opinions, she honestly seemed like she just wanted to have a loving man to love in return. Just when I was ready to start talking with her about meeting in person, she casually threw out that whoever she married had to convert to her religion, so that she could get married in her church and her family would attend, even though she supposedly wasn't really practicing. She claimed to believe in Jesus but differentiated her religion from Christianity; when I asked her what her religion was, she didn't want to talk about it until I was with her and her family in person and we had already talked about marriage to them. She was not at all willing to consider converting, herself, even though she supposedly didn't really practice her religion. With all that, she was already hiding at this early stage, who knows what else she would be hiding?

Every Ex he had was crazy. In fact all women were crazy, according to him. But not me, I was special. Yeah, turned out to be a raging narcissist I wasted three years on.

After he was extremely rude to the waitress and rambled incessantly about himself..
I didn't return his texts/calls..
so he sent me flowers at work..
the next day he texted.. "I bet no one ever sent you flowers at work before..."

When he acted out verbally and violently, he blamed me stating it was MY FAULT that I made him act like that.

I wasn't dating her, in fact I had never met her up until this one night. I was at the pub having a beer and playing the Buck Hunter game with my brother and this girl comes over and goes "You like hunting?" And I respond "Nah not really I just play the game here" and she goes "You wanna come back to my place and see my pigg'n knife?"........"ummm no thank you". This is the only time someone has tried to pick me up and it was terrifying lol

She was married, not separated, like still married. I met her kid, she told me she was separated. Really liked her too. I should have figured it out, she never spent the whole night, would leave around midnight, I was never allowed to go to her house. I thought it was because she didn't want to confuse her daughter. Was talking to her friend one day, and her friend let it slip. I asked if she'd heard from my GF cause I couldn't get in touch with her. The friend said she was out with her husband.

You mean ex-husband?

No, they're still together

Anyways, the friend thought I knew that she was cheating with me. I did not. I never spoke with her again.

"these Females"
or just referring to women as females in general.

Her ex showed up at our first (and only) date!

Blind date, set up by an acquaintance who lived on my street. She says that I'd be absolutely perfect for her friend. Friend sets up a date for us, we chat blindly the week of for 30 minutes. Get to the restaurant to discover a heavyweight body builder who makes The Rock look small. An hour into dinner, he's confessing his extreme interest in me. Such a great match, etc. After dinner, he's basically naming our children. I try to be diplomatic and kind, telling him that I wasn't thinking long term about anyone. He starts balling! Big shuddering cries, like he just lost a loved one. I had known him for less than 3 hours. Years later, I still believe the emotional volatility was connected to performance enhancing drugs. It was wild.

Just a one and done date. Met a woman online, spoke a few times, agreed to meet up for dinner. All was going very well. Good food, some drinks, good conversation, the usual questions to get to know more about the other person. I paid because the restaurant was my suggestion. Walked her to her car to talk a little more, agreed on a second date, and opened her door for her. She leaned in for what I was going to be a hug. She said “I really” like you, then proceeded to lick the side of my face while rubbing my junk. Too stunned to say anything, I just closed her door after she got in. There was no second date

They liked hurting me. Not emotionally, but they really liked twisting my arm and kicking my shins and stuff.

Not me, but a friend's relationship. Basically every bad sign possible.
1. He wanted her to stop talking to other guys
2. He kept complaining about "oh your friend this" and "your friend that" always complaining about how her friends came before him
3. Didn't respect her boundaries about Pda AT ALL
4. Bought condoms two weeks into their relationship ( both were freshman in high school)
5. Asked her to flash him 3 weeks in. She said no and he threw a hissy-fit.
6. After she FINALLY broke up with him he was trying to manipulate her saying he was gonna cut himself and all that b******t. (He's still alive and plenty happy)
So..... Yeah

Everything *had* to be done on her agenda, clock, need. We went to view a house once (it would have been my money invested) and I was on room 2. She had viewed the whole place, declared she loved it and was talking figures with the agent. She whistled at me (like a dog) to get me to go and find them and I said no. She had the biggest meltdown. She also asked me to lie on her behalf to our other partner. She threatened to unalive herself as she knew his sister passed that way so he would never leave. Massive narcissist and huge red flags for me.

I was with someone for a very short amount of time who...I've never met anyone who loved being a victim more. If she broke her leg it would have been the best day or her life because she loved nothing more than being the center of attention for being 'hurt'.

She always talked about her mental illnesses, and she always had a string of them. Anxiety, depression, bipolar, OCD,...every week it was something.

And it was always a competition- like who has it worse. We could be with a group of people and someone makes a comment about something she would always turn it around to how she understands because (suddenly) she has it too, but somehow always worse.

Or if someone is trying to vent, she always countered with 'Oh I know because I have it, too!" Meanwhile, she 's never been diagnosed, never been to a doctor and every time she heard of a new illness that she thought could give her even a bit of attention and sympathy, suddenly she had it.

We were only together for about 4 weeks but it was a long 4 weeks, lol.

It was a blind date for the 4th of July with a friend's boyfriend's best friend. We were all talking, when suddenly, in response to someone's comment, he snarled, "All women are bitches". Thankfully, I had driven my own car, so I just smiled pleasantly, picked up my purse and left. I ran into him again several months later and he acted like we were besties who had not seen each other in ages. I just smiled pleasantly, turned down his invitation to hang out, and left.

I was telling him something that has happened earlier that day that I thought he might find interesting. He interrupted me and asked, "Does this directly affect me?" I should have realized right then he was a narcissist... Well, it would have helped if I knew what a narcissist was at the time in my life. This was eleven years ago, before narcissism became pandemic. As it was, I should have ended it on the spot, because in every relationship I was in before that, we both understood that anything that affected one of us , affected the other. It was never that way with him.

Not being respectful of one's boundaries or their opinion/s. Straight away denying the thought of other people having a different perspective.
Not willing to accept their fault/s and learn to evolve as a human.
Finding faults with others, criticizing them.