Hey Pandas, What’s One Thing You Wished You Had Realized Sooner? (Closed)

Holding someone accountable to their actions rarely ends well for the person wronged. The legal/justice system is an inefficient, bloated and decrepit institution that rarely allows for the truth to be spoken freely and justice to be had.

That my ex-gf is a cold-hearted insult to female dogs.

That you are never too young to make a difference.

I have a few, so forgive me. TL;DR at bottom.

1. When I was younger (~5-7) and couldn’t sleep, my parents would pull me out of my room and leave me outside in the dark night to “sleep with the bugs”. I could stand there, wailing, and banging on the door from 15-minutes to an hour, and it scarred me. My parents told extended family that it was a game. As I said “this isn’t fair” when they put me outside, my parents always replied “life’s not fair”.

2. In sixth-grade at a magnet school (a school with above-average pace), I had a good friend who, in fifth grade, called me bipolar (two years later I am Bipolar II) but we were good friends, nonetheless. In sixth grade she distanced herself from me, and while I reached out to her multiple times, she pushed away. One day as I’m walking to my bus, a mutual friend flags me down and hands me a letter from said person. It said that she was angry that I had better grades than her and was able to get through school so easily. She even wrote that she told mutual friends to distance themselves from me because I was a jerk. At the end of the note, it said to disappear—the idiot I was in the E.R. that night and ended up in the mental hospital the night after because I thought that no one loved me (my parents expressed how wonderful mental hospitals are that I thought it would be a fun type of healing). I wish I knew then that you can’t trust everyone, something I still work on.

3. That people stereotype others. From sixth grade to being a junior now, I am asked out by boys as a joke. In the eighth grade, I was verbally sexually harassed by classmates and, upon submitting a report, it became worse. Eventually, I became paranoid, was touched in the crowded hallways (actual groping which, after turning to look, overcrowded hallways prevented me seeing anyone) and whenever at my locker I was told to “bark like a b****”. These experiences, along with being called “h*e” “c***” and “white-cracker” instead of my name (I was the only white girl of five in my class of ~30 in a 70-30 black-to-white school; we moved with the same classmates to all of our classes and lunch excluding P.E. and elective), caused me to clam up and fear males where I back up from male relatives and can’t have them stand while talking near me whilst I’m seated. The vice principal for eighth grade didn’t believe me, called me crazy, and upon the “white-cracker” term, asked if they were “talking about a brand of crackers”. I’ve been jokingly asked out ever since while these boys laugh at my blushing face as I’m so embarrassed. I was stereotyped as either the “basic, but smart, white girl” or “mentally insane, naïve girl”.

4. People are not guaranteed to believe someone with mental illness(es) and disorder(s) and/or on medication(s). After I anonymously emailed DHR about my parents (summer before eleventh grade) and requested a visit, they came to our house and my family was baffled. When talking to them, I showed physical copies of the papers where I removed my parents from my HIPAA for both therapy and psychiatry (mother text therapist asking about confidential meetings, and persuaded psychiatrist for changes in my medications through gifts, lies of reading medical journals, and paternal and maternal medicine reaction excuses) and explained my reasons. They believed me until I mentioned all of my mental issues and medications, to which they shut down the meeting and thanked me. My case was closed that same day.

TL;DR: I wish I knew then my parents abused me (excluding physically), to not trust people, that people stereotype others, that women must be vigilant, and that mental illness is a disadvantage.

That it doesn't matter whose fault it is. You have to live with the consequences and live with them.

As bitter as it is, it is your responsibility now to go to therapy / to work on it / to find a solution.

that no matter how hard i try to fit in with THEM

i will never BE them

Friends shouldn't cut you down. Took 6 years of bullying to learn that one.

You can forgive someone and still not want to have them in your life. There's a difference.

That Nick Jonas was part of the Jonas Brothers...
I'm slow ok

That I'm actually a decent person and not the a*****e I think I am

That I should have gone to therapy sooner and should have been more open and trusting. I think it would have helped me I earlier in life I realized that there is nothing wrong with feeling different in the head and I should ask for help sometimes

If you don't give your opinion just because it makes a few minutes more convenient, then sooner rather than later, you won't feel comfortable giving your opinion.
When I was young, I used to just tell my Mom that clothes that she picked for me to wear we're cute because I didn't want to hurt her feelings, and other things. Now, i can't give my opinion about anything without first seriously questioning wether I should.

TL;DR: Give your opinion as often as possible

People don't care about you. This can be positive or not. Have you ever had the feeling of being judged when in public? That people will talk about you because of your looks, your weight or whatever? Yeah, in most cases that's not happening. People only care about themselfs. On the sad side - people only care about themself, so if you need someone to care for you, you probably will get disappointed.

People are absolutely hateful and I was better off single