Hey Pandas, What’s One Lesson Life Taught You The Hard Way, But You’re Grateful For Now? (Closed)

Make sure you are able to be as independent as possible, not only in terms of money, but also regarding life skills, health, relationships etc...NEVER rely on other people for your wellbeing.

Most 'friends' are only friends out of convenience. It takes some digging (and some purging) to find the actual ones.

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

If you're growing close to a friend, check your friendship first. You do not want to be mistaken. You may see your friend as close but the other may not feel the same, or vice versa. I suffered from this and I had to break it to another friend. Feeling close to someone feels nice, but even better when both of you know. If you make it one-sided, though, you will be disappointed.

Your bucket list isn't going to magically complete itself. You actually have to get up off your rump and make an effort. "Someday" is not a day in the week, people.

Another person cannot bring you contentment, nor can you bring contentment to another person. However, another person's actions can ruin your happiness. Be sure you are content within yourself.

That at the end of the day, you owe no one (Outside of financial responsibilities). Parents, spouse, children, friends, not a single person. This is not to say that you should not try to be the best parent, spouse, child, friend that you can be, but it is not solely upon you to make anyone happy.

It sounds bad, I know, but when you go above and beyond to try and make people happy but you're always last, or never enough, or just plain worthless to them it is draining. Take care of yourself first, others to the point required, and get rid of those who only use you or put you down.

Tell the people you love that you love them no matter how frustrated or even angry you can get at them. When the day comes and there are no longer there, you can take some comfort in knowing that they knew how much you loved them.

Tell the people who support you how much you appreciate their support and love. It's easy to take it for granted and even easier to forget that it can be taxing on them to be your sounding board, therapist, confidant, cheerleader and they need to hear that their time and support is not in vain.

Don't gamble.

Also, make sure your needs are paid for first, then budget your wants very carefully. And put some money into savings, even if it's only a few bucks or the change out of the swear jar.

I learned these lessons from going hungry and getting a couple of eviction notices during my 20s.

Five months and five days I spent at the Henrico Hilton (VA). As a life long student and employee in various areas of the criminal justice system, nothing taught me more about incarceration than actually being in jail did. I could write a screen play on that experience. Both sad and funny. I burned my journal but have all the letters I sent to my mother.

Always tell the truth. Much easier than trying to remember which lie you were using. Too bad if someone feels hurt.

That every minute counts. A minute you're not doing what you need or what you like is lost forever. Nobody will give you back.

Regarding seasoning your food... You can always add more, but you can not take it away.

Regarding love... Yes it's work. But you shouldn't be breaking your back for it while your partner sits on their a*s and lives their lives. Partners. Not grunt and task master.

Regarding life... Trudge with dignity, humor and determination. No one gets out alive.

Trust no one until vetted. Believe no one cares until they prove you wrong. Stop drinking now. Get off the couch and move. Call your mom while you can.

Growing up with a narcissistic, gaslighting, a*****e parent. It wasn't easy, but I had such a clear example of how never to be. So many times I told myself that I wasn't going to be that way, or I wasn't going to treat people like that. I turned into a kind, observant, caring, awesome person.

If you have someone a*****e in your life and you can't get away yet, you can do the same thing. Learn how not to be. Be the awesome person you are. And if you can get away, do it. You can love someone and still get away from them because they are not good for you. Tell people, get help, be safe.

I'd add: never postpone on seeing an old person. 3 years ago I decided to go see my grandmother on Monday, August 1st. Then I was asked if I could pick more hours at work and I said yes, no problem. I'd see my grandma on August 8th. She died on the 6th. It was a Saturday, two days before I was supposed to go see her. If I could undo one thing in my life, that would be this decision. It hurts too much after the fact, go see your grandparents, parents, childhood pets anytime you can.

Stop being so accommodating, it becomes an expectation.

When people ask you for advice, they don't really want your advice. They just want confirmation of what they already have decided, and if your "advice" doesn't match, you end up being the bad person. Have learned not to give my opinion or advice. This has ruined many a relationship for me.

1) Don't go into debt. If you must (life happens), get out as fast as humanly possible.

2) Don't expect to receive what you give. Every friend (or relative, co-worker, neighbor, boss, etc) who enjoyed your _____ (patience, help, consideration, understanding, whatever), will find it unacceptable & intolerable if you dare ask for the same.

That being the funny one does not get you any advantages. Jokes do not get grades. Jokes do not get good jobs. Which is why I am 45 and working a contract through a temp agency-no chance for full employment-for $18/hr. and the crappiest insurance known to humanity