Hey Pandas, What's A Silly Way You've Gotten Hurt? (Closed)

When I was about 5 years old, my older sister (by 2 years) and I were playing outside. There was something she had that I wanted to play with, but she refused to share. I ran into the house to tell Mom, and Mom told me to tell my sister to share. I was so excited that I ran out of the front door to tell her and hit the top of my head on a brick pillar on our porch. It split my scalp open and that how I got the first stitches in my life, seven right in the top of my head. It's been over 50 years since that happened, and I can still feel the indentation on the top of my head.

Was at the bay, sliced my arm on a rock because the other rocks were slippery. had to go to the ER. In a bathing suit. A cold, wet bathing suit.

I think I must have some klutz tendencies :
-sitting on couch with one leg folded up, put it out to get off couch, kicked 2" thick solid wood coffee table. Hit table leg between "ring toe" and middle toe. Next morning two toes and have of foot black/dark blue. Had to wear slippers for a week, couldn't even tolerate sock or shoes.
-slipped on slightest hill, slightly damp, foot turned under, knee flat on ground turned to the side. Somehow didn't hurt either joint but severe strain of everything in between. 10 days later was sorting books on lowest shelf, on knees on floor, sat back on my heels and (luckily silently) screamed like hell. Next morning had 3" x 6" bruise across back of lower leg. Turns out I broke the thin bone in shin, completely across the bone and inch long down the middle.
-closed my car door but forgot to move first so door rammed my lower leg, another crazy size bruise.
-slid on carpeted steps in my own house.. Foot turned to side banged down 3 steps, hand got hung up in spindles so pulled my arm and chest muscles. Leg was pulled such that when I tried to sit down get about 2/3rds then would fall the rest of the way

I don't know if this counts, but I participate in the mosh pit and am no stranger to an elbow to the face.

Knowing it would happen at some point, I went into the pit anyway. Got a bruised lip.

Also: I've gone in the mosh pit with a recovering sprained ankle. Then at another show (3 different concerts total), I got a concussion in the pit, went on the sidelines and got back into the pit. That last one involved alcohol in my system.

Yesterday I smacked myself in the face while I was closing my car's trunk.

Have two quick ones. Asked my little brother to toss the new tube of toothpaste. The corner on the end of the tube impaled the palm of my right hand…needed stitches.

Playing frisbee in the street with same brother. I ran backwards to catch it and caught my foot in a pot hole. Snapped my ankle. My brother was far enough from me that he thought I was lying on the ground laughing; he was on his end of the street laughing. Took him a bit to realize it was crying not laughing.

Tripped over a television cord when I was 2, split the upper bone in my right leg vertically. Ended up with a lower body cast for a couple months. Still remember it!

Slipped on the next to the last step, didn't fall, but sat down. On my foot. Broke it in 5 places and ruptured a ligament. Couldn't walk properly for months, and now have 4 screws and a metal plate in there. One more thing to confound the scanners at the airport.

I almost fell off a dock. That might have been better.

I'm getting better, but I'm pretty bad at docking my boat. After some lessons I don't crash anymore but it's not always smooth. Often I'll pull up alongside the dock, tie up the back, and by the time I get to the front it already floated away from the dock. So I take my paddle and paddle the front of the boat back to the dock.

Two weeks ago this happened when the waves were a bit bigger than usual. I paddled the front to the dock, but by the time I put down the paddle and picked up the mooring line, the front had drifted away again.

It wasn't too far though. Close enough to jump. I'm not sure I've had a reason to jump in a decade, but sure, I could jump to the dock from here.

I made it onto the dock, held on to the mooring line, turned around, and pulled the boat back to the dock.

At least, that was the plan.

When I jumped I pushed back on the boat which gave it even more momentum pulling away from the dock. I did turn and tried to pull, but I got pulled instead. Right off the dock.

About halfway into my fall I remembered the waterproof case on my phone broke. If I went in the water, my phone might not make it out alive.

So as I was falling off the dock I pushed off the dock to try to jump back into the boat. No problem, I'm a good jumper.

There's no way I could have gracefully landed in the boat. I was hoping for getting over the side and falling into the front. Instead, I landed about mid-chest on the side of the boat, but somehow managed to flip over the side and land in the boat.

Phone was safe.

I wasn't though. I had a decent stream of blood coming out of my foot. My boat was full of expensive photo equipment though, and I couldn't leave it in the boat. So I offloaded it from the boat and carried it next door to my studio. Then I walked three blocks to the pharmacy and bought some hydrogen peroxide, large gauze pads, and tape.

At this point I have a trail of blood behind me and I haven't really seen the cut underneath the blood. I sat down and washed it off with hydrogen peroxide.

It wasn't a deep cut, but it was wide. It looked like I scooped a big line out of my foot with a spoon.

New scar I'm sure. It'll make for a fun tattoo.