Hey Pandas, What's A Red Flag That Often Gets Overlooked?

(Hasn’t been listed yet so case in point) Abusive to animals. Many serial killers started out killing animals.

when you express worries, dismisses it with "i'm sure you're just overthinking"

Not being loud and proud about your relationship. (platonic or not)
Acting scidish or embarrassed.
If someone doesn't want to be proud and confident then LEAVE. It's not a good relationship if the person is flat out embarrassed of you.

That you need to inform 'him/her' before doing literally anything, or else you end up with "You didn't tell you were doing that/ going there/ meeting your friends/ cutting your hair..

NO. I don't need to inform about every single littlest things I do.

🚩🚩🚩

A partner that ignores your opinions and if you complain then calls you ungrateful.

being overly attentive. sure, it's great to be treated with so much attention. but, later it can evolve into being overly jealous, possessive, and just too smothering. i don't believe in the 'two become one' when you are with a partner whether in a marriage or not. i am never going to be part of another person and i don't want to be.

never showing love, just reacting to it, unless the relationship is ending without them ending it.

If it seems to good to be true than it probably is. Lots of financial anxiety for many these days and a good deal may be worse than no deal.

I think the younger you are, the more susceptible you can be to overlooking red flags.

When they come to your job/school (assuming they go to a different school.) everyday and just hang around until you're done.
It's not a sweet act of showing how much they want to be with you and miss you. It's a controlling, possessive behaviour that could get you in trouble with your job/school.

Trying to coerce you into taking intimacy further than you're ready for. You should be able to have that conversation with your partner and they should be respecting your wishes. If they actually care enough about you, they can wait until you're ready to take things further. It has nothing to do with love. It's to do with mutual respect and consideration.

Stalking. Okay, we've all probably stared at our crushes way too long in class, tried figuring out who they are from external sources, etc. But if you just got with someone not too long ago, and they admit they followed you home because they wanted to see where you live, even if it's just a few times, months ago, RUN. They don't have to be a serial, consistent stalker in order to be bad news.

Sometimes you can just feel that something is off about someone. It’s an instinctive feeling, and overthinking can make you dismiss it, but hey, maybe pay more attention to the people around you.

(platonic) If the friend doesn't seem interested in friendship/is constantly making excuses but hangs out with you anyway.

You're always starting the conversation (at first it might be shyness, but after a year of talking to them it shouldn't be constantly the same person to interact), not caring about how you're doing. I mainly see it in platonic but if it's romantic I guess it's more common to realize but still no.

Very passive, doesn’t initiate stuff on their own, you have to do everything yourself.

I’m really bad at this, and it’s an ongoing issue with my best friend. I’m trying to improve though.

On the flip side, super over the top, always planning, getting excited, doing big things. This can be either love bombing, or something more innocent, but it can get really exhausting. It’s ok to take a day to just slug out at home.

Let me note that I am nearly 52 years by now, and NEVER have been any sort of relationship expert, but from the real life lessons:

Whenever we start making excuses about a person, or their misbehavior, then nothing of our mind-cocktail is the reality of it! It IS a form of denial, often sadly so.

They never EVER say a single nice thing about their ex. No matter how terrible they became, if you can't talk about at least some of the good times, then you haven't dealt with it.

If they always want to do their thing (like an activity, vacation, or dining out) but never your thing. That person is probably not looking for a partner.

If you walk into her house and she only has pictures of herself but none of her 2 boys.

Being over 30 and not having a proper bed, only one set of bed linen.

It isn’t two way.

There should always be some give and take in a healthy relationship.

If there isn’t, one party is likely a narcissist.

The way they treat their mother, and other family members. It's an early sign that you can pick up through even the smallest acts.