Hey Pandas, What's A Conversation You've Had That Taken Out Of Context Sounds Funny Or Disturbing? (Closed)

Here are some highlights:
- "You can't eat a human brain. And you can't make pottery out of it either."
- "Intestines are the world's slowest google."
- "Is this a serious conversation or can I twerk at you?"
- "We are unsure if the bones in the bone jar are human or not."
- "God, we have to mop up the blood again?"

My best friend and I were talking about stealing all of the world’s ketchup and ransoming it to get rich.

We got some really strange looks

So my friends and I have an out of context quote chat. I’ll paste a few here.

1. "I can eat 30 miles of fishy crackers" "No 100 miles of fishy crackers"

2. "A blind squirrel locates a nut every know and then. And I have three squirrels. More nuts when you have three blind squirrels"

3. "Where you're comfortable enough not to say Aaaaaaaa!" - me

4. "Grammer is the great equalizer" - my AP Lang teacher

Lmk if you guys want some more!

“Peppa pig is communist propaganda!”

Not elaborating.

Wait... Why is it sticky? Should it be sticky?

At theater practice once:

Me: You sound like a british sassy girl.

...
More theater conversations:

Kid one: no, you don't want me to spank you
Kid two: I don't want you to spank me!
....
again, this is what happens when you put theater kids together in a room.

Me: Hello english ex-husband!

Welcome to my whole life. I was primarily raised by my dad's mom because as a single parent. He had to work long hours to support us. I started calling her my substitute mom and it later was shortened to just "Mom". When we all are out in public I call her "Mom" and him "Dad" while he's still calling her "Mama". We get the strangest looks from anyone who doesn't know us.

Me: “if i were to commit a crime it would be gloves and black face masks and hoodies all the way ! think it through !”

Oh there's a ton of inside jokes, but mainly there's a friend of mine who will occasionally come up to me and say 'I'm going to eat your lurgs' and believe it or not this is a well established inside joke

Technically everything's edible it just depends how many times you can eat it

(Person stuffs a kleenex into mouth without thinking and desperately tries to pull it lut after realising) 'Even I have more self preservation than you and that's saying a lot with my track record'

'I mean I've been attacked by a dinosaur irl' (points to scar on eyebrow)

'The windows here are really low quality I would know' (holds up forearm and gestures to it)

'God wants me dead but I'm too powerful'

All of these are vaguely connected tbh

“That’s like comparing who would win in a fight: a pit bull or a toddler!”