I am retired, and have my dream journey all set and paid for, 8 months of Central and South America, then on to Europe next March. I received a letter from Social Services out of state that 2 boys, 4 and 1, related to me needed foster care.
#1
Wednesday I received a letter from the Department of Children and Families out of state, stating they had 2 children, age 4 and age 1 that needed to be placed with family in the Foster Care system. No other information, other than a two page "What is Foster Care" sheet and the social worker's info. I called twice on Wednesday and left voice messages.
You all know I am 3 weeks away from my journey, 8 months of flights, trains, hotels and Airbnbs already paid for. But if this is family.....little kids.....I was torn, devastated, and did not sleep at all.
I called the supervisor this morning, who could not give me any information, but promised to call me back in an hour. (he did not)
At 315 this afternoon Miss A. called me and told me the last names of the two boys. It didn't ring a bell. I asked for the maiden name of the mom. Still did not recognize it. I told her the last names of my sisters who had married up there, and the names of the nephews and nieces I knew about, and they were not on her contact list for the children. So, she feels there is no family connection at all to these two babies, and that sometimes their search engine spits out names of people who have lived in the same house once or had the cell phone number once or any number of random connections.
She seemed so tired to be so young, and we talked for a few minutes. I asked her if she was taking care of herself too, recharging between placements and visits and she laughed. She told me people don't know how bad it is up there, and thanked me for actually asking how she was. I told her I was getting ready to travel and where and how, and she asked questions and seemed interested. She and I connected, and I was glad.
I am profoundly sad and glad at the same time. I am glad I can continue on my journey, and sad that those children still do not have a family member to claim them. They are in the system, and all we can do is think of them and send them light and love. Tonight my sadness is heavier than my relief, tomorrow I will be better.
You all know I am 3 weeks away from my journey, 8 months of flights, trains, hotels and Airbnbs already paid for. But if this is family.....little kids.....I was torn, devastated, and did not sleep at all.
I called the supervisor this morning, who could not give me any information, but promised to call me back in an hour. (he did not)
At 315 this afternoon Miss A. called me and told me the last names of the two boys. It didn't ring a bell. I asked for the maiden name of the mom. Still did not recognize it. I told her the last names of my sisters who had married up there, and the names of the nephews and nieces I knew about, and they were not on her contact list for the children. So, she feels there is no family connection at all to these two babies, and that sometimes their search engine spits out names of people who have lived in the same house once or had the cell phone number once or any number of random connections.
She seemed so tired to be so young, and we talked for a few minutes. I asked her if she was taking care of herself too, recharging between placements and visits and she laughed. She told me people don't know how bad it is up there, and thanked me for actually asking how she was. I told her I was getting ready to travel and where and how, and she asked questions and seemed interested. She and I connected, and I was glad.
I am profoundly sad and glad at the same time. I am glad I can continue on my journey, and sad that those children still do not have a family member to claim them. They are in the system, and all we can do is think of them and send them light and love. Tonight my sadness is heavier than my relief, tomorrow I will be better.
5points
#2
The best thing about dreams it that you can always make new ones.
Dreams are usually better than reality and I know some personality types often put them off or self sabotage if they get to close to achieving the dream. Once you have carried out your dream, what's next... You create a new dream.
You don't know those kids. Even if they had turned out to be family, you have no obligation to care or provide for them. My (direct) cousins have kids that I have never met or even know their names, just because they are family doesn't mean I owe them anything.
Not to mention the effect it could have on the kids, being moved (who knows how many hundreds of miles) to go and live with a complete strange 'just because they are family'! Away from their friends & school.
You are obviously a good person for even considering the options. but if it was a vote, I'd vote you go go enjoy your well deserved holiday that you've spent your life working for!
Dreams are usually better than reality and I know some personality types often put them off or self sabotage if they get to close to achieving the dream. Once you have carried out your dream, what's next... You create a new dream.
You don't know those kids. Even if they had turned out to be family, you have no obligation to care or provide for them. My (direct) cousins have kids that I have never met or even know their names, just because they are family doesn't mean I owe them anything.
Not to mention the effect it could have on the kids, being moved (who knows how many hundreds of miles) to go and live with a complete strange 'just because they are family'! Away from their friends & school.
You are obviously a good person for even considering the options. but if it was a vote, I'd vote you go go enjoy your well deserved holiday that you've spent your life working for!
5points
#3
It depends. If it’s for a romantic partner or friend, no. (I feel like I might feel resentful and the relationship could easily turn toxic for both of us.) But, if the thing would bring me more joy than following my dream, I would.
5points
#4
if asked to give up my dream, i would calmly reply, "no"
4points
#5
No one ever asked me but I've had to put it on hold more than once. I'm still working on my writing, I'd like to be published one day, however I've never had a ton of time dedicated to that. My life could have taken so many turns and some probably would have lead to something better but I don't have regrets. I loved every person I put my life on hold for, I still love them despite everything we all went through together. What it boiled down to was circumstance and responsibility. I took care of my mom and grandparents until I couldn't anymore. I wouldn't trade the time I had with them. Mom and Grandma are still alive, Grandpa passed in '17, it was hell sometimes but I still wouldn't trade it for any possible future where I didn't help them.
I know there will be a possible comment that they're not my responsibility. None of them asked for what happened and most children who do take care of their parents don't have to worry about that at 18/19. Y'all don't know the circumstance and I do.
2points
#6
I would say "Nope." and move on with my life trying to make my dreams come true. I'm glad everyone in my life supports my dreams or is at least fine with me having them
2points
#7
I've made a promise to myself that under absolutely no circumstances I will ever give up on my dream. Even if it literally kills me. So I would say no and work harder than ever
1point
#8
Depends on the situation.
My partner, or best friend, is going to perish if I don't? Yep, I'm giving it up.
My partner, or best friend, is going to perish if I don't? Yep, I'm giving it up.
Someone doesn't like it and tells me I need to quit? No, f**k off.
A family member or friend asks me to? Mm... no. If you don't like it that's fine, but I'm continuing anyway.
1point
#9
I only have one dream; to find the love of my life.
If someone asked me to give up, I would literally slap them across the face and lecture them.
If someone asked me to give up, I would literally slap them across the face and lecture them.
1point
#10
I think it would depend on the situation. If it wasn't for a good reason I wouldnt
0points
#11
"duck off", probably
0points
#12
My dream is something that is one thing. I want to show the world that animals are equal to humans and that they deserve rights. If I was told to give up my dreams I don’t know what I would do.
0points
#13
I have not been "asked to" give up my dreams, I've had them destroyed, repeatedly. I try another one.
0points