Hey Pandas, What Was The Hardest Thing You Have Ever Overcome?

My parents hating me for being gay and not respecting my pronouns. I'm proud of who I am and don't care what they think but it still hurts.

Accepting that there's nothing wrong with me being gay. I've grown up in a very Christian setting, so I was told being gay was wrong my entire life.

My breakdown turned into alcoholism, domestic violence fights, getting fat and also finding out I have BPD with terrible anxiety, depression and complex PTSD. I even landed in jail and the hospital a few times. I hit rock bottom. All of it within 2 years including the death of my Dad. I couldn't get help with anything. I have zero insurance. Somehow I kept fighting and now 20 months sober, lost 60 lbs and I research mental health and learn, also I dive deep into self help books. I've came a long way alone. But that period was the worst time of my life. That break down from emotional build up that lead to mass anger and alcoholism. Both my parents are dead by my late 20's. I have really no other family or friends. My child hood was a horror show but that breakdown.. It was something. I'm stronger today for it. I literally had to climb out of that dark well I fell into by my finger nails. I had to use all my strength and will to do so.

My childhood. It was really bad, at one point I lived with two people who had Antisocial Personalty Disorder, which pop terms would be called a Psychopath and a Sociopath.

I've had years of therapy, which gave me the tools I needed to ground myself, however the one thing that gave me more peace than anything else was forgiveness.

I had so much hurt, rage, and sorrow that I was drowning in it. No matter what I did I couldn't keep my head above water. I used to sneer at the idea of forgiveness. I was the one who was hurt, used, degraded, and defiled in so many ways not just physically. Inside I was nothing but pulp of a person. I was also tired of being so angry all the time. Anger at that level exhausts you in ways you don't even know exist. I sat down with myself and had a very introspective look at where I was and if anything about this made me happy. It didn't.

Forgiveness is something that a lot of people spit on. They sneer if the word is even brought up without knowing what it truly means. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting. You'll never forget. Forgiving doesn't me you're saying what happened to you was okay. It wasn't, nothing I went through was okay. Forgiving doesn't have a single thing to do with anyone but yourself. Forgiveness doesn't have anything to do with religion either. Yes religions push forgiveness but they don't own it and I dislike it when people think or push that there's conditions that have to be met with forgiveness. There's not.

When I forgave everyone who had anything to do with the hell I went through I did it for myself. I did it to get them out of my head. I did it because I was holding onto all of that pain in a white knuckled grip like I wouldn't exist if I didn't have that pain to define me. I define myself, I don't let anything or anyone define me but myself, and when I realized I was letting what happened to me define me because I was scared I wouldn't exist without that pain it pissed me off. I was still letting them hurt me even though they weren't in my life anymore.

I forgave. It's not a magic wand, you don't just say some words and it's done; it's a battle. It's not a one and done deal, though it gets easier as you get older. You have to remind yourself that this nightmare or that flashback doesn't have power over you, process it, and let it go. I still struggle some days no matter how long it's been. Forgiving doesn't make thing like severe PTSD, triggers, flashbacks, nightmares, or insomnia go away. It just lessens the power they have over you long term.

Everyone has the right to feel that rage over what they went through and the pains they suffered. I would never say that someone doesn't have that right and it's totally up to you if you want to do what I did. I would never force this on anyone. I've been there.

Just don't let what you went through control you, don't let it define you, and don't hold onto it like some demented teddy bear because you don't know what you'll be without it.

My parents' divorce

having an abusive dad..

Near fatal injuries after a motorcycle accident I suffered almost 10 tears ago. I was in a coma for 2 weeks with a Diffuse Axonal brain injury and a bleed on the brain that caused a stroke. I also suffered a shattered left hip and pelvis, smashed left wrist, arm and shoulder, three fractured vertebra and a fractured skull. For about a year after the accident I had memory, speech and coordination problems, I had to re-learn to do many of the things we do without thinking, like walking and feeding and dressing myself. I have had to undergo over 100 hours of surgery and months of Physiotherapy. I still haven't fully recovered from some of my injuries, and I will never be 100% pain free from them, but at least I can live a fairly normal life and even ride a motorcycle again. Which seems pretty amazing considering I was only given a 30% chance of surviving my injuries and a 10% chance of walking again.

Post-partum depression/anxiety

Moving to the US, probably. I moved here from Brazil when I was about 7 because my mom got married to an American and we were going to live here. I would cry almost every night missing my friends and family, and would also cry at school because I could barely speak English. Today I'm 12 y.o, speak English fluently, and live with my mom, awesome stepdad, 2 little sisters, a cat and a dog in a great house near a good school. I still have plenty of problems but it helps to think of the ones I've already overcome. :)

life

My mom having multiple boyfriends. Her first one was my dad, he left when I was born. She tells me that he went to jail for beating her badly. The second one, she had for about 7 years, he cared about me, deeply, but, one night I overheard them arguing, and the next day I didn't see him. Now, currently, she has another boyfriend, and he's an awesome dad, he plays on his ps4, and he is an awesome person and human being. And to this day, he loves my mom and I, and we are a great family. :)

Death. Among many other things in my life, death was probably the hardest thing. My grandma died when I was 6 and that really hit me hard. I loved her so much and her death really hit me hard. She was a (kindergarten/ first grade) teacher for about 35 years. She was a 18 year breast cancer survivor and was 64 when she died from bile duct cancer. She was so nice and cared for everyone she met. Y'all should've seen her funeral. She touched the lives of so many people, and pretty much anyone who met her, loved her. She had two rescue dogs at the time that she loved and cared for. I also had two of my great grandparents that died as well three and two years ago. They were both very nice people with many friends. They all had quite the legacy.

Not really me but my brother was born with down syndrome and had ALL for 3 years, and he was only 5, then he had blood clots in his heart and lungs... now he is 11 and going strong!!

middle school + self-harm. I was super lonely because I had a hard time connecting with people. I started to hate myself more and more, but now with all this time to myself when no one can choose to ignore me I'm starting my comeback.

reality

Arthritis, believe it or not. I was diagnosed with arthritis in my knees when I was 14. For 40 years I was in pain, couldn't do sports, couldn't even walk for much distance without pain. A couple of years ago my knees were finally degraded to the point where they were bone-on-bone and I was using trekking poles to walk, and I had a terrible limp and the pain regularly brought me to tears. I got both knees replaced, and although the healing period was also painful and seemed to go on forever (it was actually about 6 months for each knee), I'm finally rid of the pain. I wish I could have had it done sooner, but insurance wouldn't pay for the surgeries until my knees were fully degraded. Now I can't remember what that 40 years of pain felt like.

um...I would say the hardest thing to overcome was trust. I had a hard time asking for help because I was afraid and felt like I couldn't trust anyone. I kept my sexuality and my emotions from my family. my parents actually recently found out about how I felt because I left BP on and they saw my user name and my post( go see the post ¨hey, pandas! tell us your problems, please ¨) they are now working on helping me and I feel a bit better now that they are trying to understand how I feel. but I am still trying to work on it because I just started to feel better and if something bad happens I might go back again so let's hope for the best

My dad’s death. He died when I was 5. 😔

Losing my best friend to suicide a little less than 2 weeks after my other friend died of leukemia.
I developed deppression, anxiety, intrusive thought, plus more that I don't want to share, after that. My parents didn't believe I needed meds or to g o to therapy because "I was to young to understand death", so for 4 years I had to sit back and watch myself become torn apart by my own mind, while being told over an dover and over again that I was "fine.
I was not fine.
What so ever.
I hurt myself, I tried to kill myself, because, at the time, I wanted to escape the pain of being alive.
BUT!!
I am now going to therapy and my life is finally turning around.

Anorexia Nervosa. It took a lot of time, effort and tears to recover physically and mentally from a state where I had a 25% chance surviving. It was hard for myself and everyone around me, especially my family.