Hey Pandas, What Was The Biggest Red Flag In Your Past Relationships? (Closed)

He always hid his phone when I was around

One of my past bf was really rude and mean to his mom. If he couldn't cant treat his own mother well, how was he going to treat me?

Ha! When I found out he had been smoking crack after noticing he'd all but stopped eating. I moved on, he fell fast - got arrested not long after for selling drugs in a school parking lot and went to prison for a while.

He made me doubt myself with his passive aggressive attitude. It left me with the worst self confidence and anxiety.

this is with my neighbors
1. her mom was super mean to us and would make us do the chores around the house in order to play with them
2. they would hit their dog to the point where my mom saw the dog and got the police involved ( we have their dog now, her name is Luna and she has severe anxiety now)
3. my "friends" would yell at us for "doing something wrong"
4. her dad got arrested for trafficking

When he made me show my private area when I left the my razor out, from shaving my legs. As in “who are you getting ready for?!?!?”

she would mimic my friends personality and hobbies and pretend it was a coincedince

Oh boy.... i have too many... This might be long.But anyways:

1: i had a friend in 3rd grade (Lets call her karen because she was one) she seemed VERy friendly at first, but don't always believe what you see. Because i was a bit naive and gullible back then, she bent me to her will. I started hating her, and was afriad of going to school. I attemped (And acutally could have died, i was THAT close) suicide because of her, and she made me do horrible things i do not feel comfortable talking about. We broke up, she still harasses me today, but we''re not actually together. choose your friends wisely, by what they do, not what they say. Actions speak louder than words

2: this happens everyday, but online in video games people send a friend request to me just because i have valuble items in the game, or are on a high level. That is SO juvinile.

3: People in my 4th grade class wanted to be friends with me just because i had nice hair. Like come on, seriously?!
'
Those are mine. The rest i want to keep private.

He never washed his hands after going to the bathroom

Cheatin!!!!!!!!!

His 4 previous less than 6 year relationships (3 marriages) and when he asked me to marry him after the first year, I said, lets wait til we make it past 6 years. He ended it at 5 years 11 months and 1 week. Should have seen that one coming.

Husband No. 1: While we were dating, he said he'd always pictured himself marrying a "ditzy" girl. I was young and naive and didn't realize until much later that he meant someone easy to control and manipulate who would think everything he did was great. He was pretty arrogant and liked to think he was smarter than everyone around him.
Husband No. 2: Literally every single thing about him, but probably the first red flag should've been that I met him the week he got out of prison. :/ He was sober for a while but then relapsed, and not long after we split, he died of an OD. Even without the addiction issues, he had about a trillion horrible personality traits and was very verbally abusive. I still, to this day, have no idea why I was with him for so long.

I have 2 different guys:

Okay. So I told one guy that I might be moving. He then told me, "Things are good now, but when that time comes we should probably break up." I thought that he might have trust issues from past relationships and I think I might cheat on him. So I told him, "I'm not a cheater, I wouldn't ever cheat on you just know that. Please trust me." He responded with,
"Oh I trust you, I just don't trust myself to stay loyal."

Another guy would get mad at me every single day. He would stalk who I was following on Instagram and who was following me. He came across one of my friends that was a guy. See, my friend had just got broken up with and was trying to show he was available, so the only picture he had posted was him with his shirt off. Mind you, I had been following him before that picture and before he got broken up with, so I didn't follow him because of that. I followed him because we've been friends for years. So my boyfriend at the time SENDS ME A SCREENSHOT OF THE POST AND THEN CONTINUES TO ACCUSE ME OF FINDING HIM ATTRACTIVE. Like um no, if I had found him attractive I would've made a move on him years ago. My boyfriend at the time continued to get mad at me for talking to my guy friends, and I only had like 2. Yet, I never got mad when he had his girl best friend over to his house. So frustrating.

I didn't date him but I helped a friend move house and found a box of multiple passports all with different names, date of births etc. Confronted him and was told to mind my own business. Never spoke to him again, so many questions.

1. He was one of my housemates.
2. He was seeing someone else and would crawl into bed and tell me all about it like we were bros.
3. He was my first.
4. We went to all of each other’s family gatherings and he always introduced himself as my friend while acting non-platonically.
5. He talked about me sexually at dinner with his bosses and coworkers - while I was sitting next to him.
6. He refused to label it a relationship but would talk about how we would just end up being common-law spouses. He even took such steps as adding me to his bank accounts. I didn’t ask him to and I never used them in any way.

Don’t ask me why I just took this kind of treatment, I have no idea and it’s certainly not who I am now.

well where do i start i dated this guy on and of for a few months we broke up like 5 6 times the biggest red flag for me was he made me meet his mom and sister the first day we started dating then he outed me to my parents about being a lesbian and said he was hurt i traded him for a female

it was a first date of sorts. we were standing around in a bar (double date kind of thing), joking around. he said something kind of rude. gave him a punch in the arm. i stand at 5 feet half inch. he was well over 6 feet, and had at least 50 lbs on me. he punched me back so hard he bruised my muscle. could not move my arm. never saw he again after that.

I hosted a friend for 4-5 days as they were attending part-time education in my city. During that time, we didn't have dinner or drinks together even once because they would go out with classmates every evening.
That was the first red flag.
Still, during the following weeks, I pinged them a couple of times asking if they would be back in town soon. After one month of ghosting, I told them they were not welcome anymore.

A big red flag came from one guy I chatted up from a dating site told me on our first official phone call (to set up a date) that he wasn’t comfortable with the fact that I had guy friends... which were 95% of my friend circle. I immediately told him it wouldn’t work and hung up. But the worst red flag that I got and let go of, was from a guy I dated back in college who told me before we got together that he cheated on his last girlfriend, but he felt terrible about it and wouldn’t do that again (red flag) after he cheated on me (and told me that he didn’t think I loved him- i.e. I didn’t sleep with him in the 3 weeks we were together) and we split, we somehow became friends again and when he was single... after cheating on two further girlfriends. He complained to me about how lonely he was and then nodded his head in the direction of his bed (red flag confirmed). Although not mutually exclusive, he confused sex for love and in the end was kicked out and banned from campus and subsequently arrested for sexual assault. I dodged a bullet, but I wish I had recognized the biggest red flags to have saved many young girls from his predatory horribleness.

My ex wanted to do something in the bedroom that I didn’t. He insisted and basically said ‘I’m doing it’ until I said ok fine whatever. Wish I had insisted to this day! He proceeded to hurt me quite badly by not using lubricant. I managed to get him to stop but it was traumatic af. Next day I was in a lot of pain and couldn’t sit down, he laughed and made fun of me, incapable of understanding that what he had done had legitimately caused me extreme physical pain. I was a dumbass for staying with him another two and a half years. It was my first relationship and I didn’t know better I suppose. He did a bunch of other shitty things and owes me A LOT of money. I know better now.