I am a HUGE fan of bad dad jokes! I tell them to anyone and everyone, and the more groans and eye-rolls I get, the better! Throw yours into the ring for a joke-off of epic proportions! I’ll go first: Why did the old grape become a rancher? Because he was so good at raisin’ the steaks!
#1
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
14points
#2
Why did the old man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well
11points
#3
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit looks at the others and says "I think I'm a typo."
10points
#4
what’s brown and stickey?
a stick
7points
#5
Why did the scarecrow win the award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
7points
#6
What do you call a white drunken rhinoceros? An albino wino rhino.
7points
#7
What did the tomato say to his son when they went on a walk?
Ketchup son you’ll be left behind
Ketchup son you’ll be left behind
7points
#8
What’s Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgon-zola
7points
#9
My Dad would say before a dance You can dance cheek to cheek or turn around and face each other
7points
#10
A dung beetle walks into a bar. Looks around and decides to leave. All the stools were taken.
7points
#11
Three pieces of string walk into a bar.
The first piece of string goes up and asks for three beers.
The barkeep says. “Are you a piece of string?”
The String replies “yes”
“Sorry… we don’t serve string here.”
The second piece of string tries his luck.
“Are you a piece of string?”
“Yes…”
“Sorry, we don’t serve string here.”
Before the third piece of string goes up to the bar, he goes into the restroom and twists himself up and one end and fluffs out his edges.
He goes up to the bar and asks “Can I have three beers please”
The Barkeep eyes him suspiciously. “Are you a piece of string?”
“No… I’m a frayed knot”
The first piece of string goes up and asks for three beers.
The barkeep says. “Are you a piece of string?”
The String replies “yes”
“Sorry… we don’t serve string here.”
The second piece of string tries his luck.
“Are you a piece of string?”
“Yes…”
“Sorry, we don’t serve string here.”
Before the third piece of string goes up to the bar, he goes into the restroom and twists himself up and one end and fluffs out his edges.
He goes up to the bar and asks “Can I have three beers please”
The Barkeep eyes him suspiciously. “Are you a piece of string?”
“No… I’m a frayed knot”
6points
#12
Kid: "dad I'm hungry"
Dad:"I'm Austria the country nextdoor"
Dad:"I'm Austria the country nextdoor"
Kid:"How long until dinner"
Dad:"about 3 and a half foot"
Dad:"about 3 and a half foot"
Kid:"Am I adopted?"
Dad:"if I had a choice do you reckon I'd would've picked you?"
Dad:"if I had a choice do you reckon I'd would've picked you?"
These are all joke my dad says lol
6points
#13
Two ppl are arguing abt Orion’s Belt. One says it’s just a waist of space *badum tiss*
I’m sorry that joke is only a 3 star.
6points
#14
Me: Hey Dad i’m hungry
Dad: Hey hungry i’m Dad
Dad: Hey hungry i’m Dad
5points
#15
Me: *Turns on Call Me Maybe*
My Dad: Why does she want to be called Maybe?
And that is my favorite bad dad joke. Actually, I have another one.
Me: *Listening to Savage Love*
My Dad: *singing along* SHELLFISH LOVE
That's my two favorite Low Quality Dad Jokes™
My Dad: Why does she want to be called Maybe?
And that is my favorite bad dad joke. Actually, I have another one.
Me: *Listening to Savage Love*
My Dad: *singing along* SHELLFISH LOVE
That's my two favorite Low Quality Dad Jokes™
5points
#16
Have you heard about corduroy pillows?
They're making headlines!
They're making headlines!
5points
#17
My all time favorite joke is kinda a dad joke. So a lion and a giraffe walk into a bar and order a ton of drinks. The giraffe gets drunk and falls down. The lion gets up and the bartender says "Hey, you can't leave that lyin' there" to which the lion replies, "that's not a lion, that's a giraffe" lol never fails to make me laugh.
5points
#18
What is the last thing that goes through a bug's mind as it flies into the car driving down the highway? It's butt
5points
#19
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house!
*say it like its absolutely hilarious, and then a minute or so later say...*
Knock knock!
Who's there?
The chicken!!!
To get to your house!
*say it like its absolutely hilarious, and then a minute or so later say...*
Knock knock!
Who's there?
The chicken!!!
5points
#20
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9
But why did 7 do that you ask? Well, you should have 3 squared meals per day
But why did 7 do that you ask? Well, you should have 3 squared meals per day
4points