My depression & anxiety problems started because of introvert personality. I have very few close friends. I don't really have a family & For many years my friends were around me so I felt normal. But eventually they got busy with their lives (family, marriage, boyfriend etc). Can't blame them, they have their own lives.
I tried making new friends but who wants to be friends with a boring introvert. I immersed myself in work during covid time & that kept me busy but eventually started getting anxiety attacks & palpitations.
Went for therapy & was diagnosed with severe depression as I have lost all self worth & gone into self loathing. I kept blaming myself for everything & started hating myself for being an introvert & fear of losing my few friends.
Therapy & medication initially helped but I hit a plateau.
I still don't feel good about myself. Sometimes I want to disappear. I have gone into self isolation . I haven't met my friends cause I don't want to spoil their mood again with nonsense going in my head right now. From a casual smoker I have become a chain smoker & have social anxiety now.
Things are better than they were a year ago but can't figure out how to feel normal & happy again. I know I have to do it on my own but it's easier said than done
Thanks for letting me rant