Hey Pandas, What Is The Funniest Thing You Have Ever Said In Your Life? (Closed)

Me and my mom were out on a walk. We'd just met my dad who had gone out earlier and had been planning to meet us halfway.

Dad: (directed to my mom) Well it's a good thing I've got a beautiful girl to walk home with.

Mom: You've got two beautiful girls.

My smartass: Yeah Dad! You forgot Mom!

Don't call me Nymphadora.

I remember that my mom said "get a life" then i said "if i didn't have a life i shouldn't be here" Then i said "oh and mom" "hmm" "can you check my name"
then mom said "why" then i said "cause it says getalife

" Hey - Insert older brother name-, what episode does Iskall85 die in demise?" I just thought it was weird cuz it was back in season 6 of Demise, and i was giving him a quiz. If you wanna know the answer, its his last episode of season 6.

My family used to call me “little fart” and “little monkey” as a little nickname and so one day my aunt called me little fart ( not to be rude) and I screamed, and I quote. “I DONT WANNA BE CALLED LITTLE MONKEY OR LITTLE FART. I AM WOMEO ( I could not say r) AND THATS IT!” Everyone else took turns to go to the bathroom to laugh.

part 1 of quotes that were never said by anyone but me

"aww man, we have too much garlic bread"

idk. but one funny thing ive said was:

me: "im grateful to know the best mom in the world"

my mom: "awww"

me: "what makes you think i was talking about you?"

One time I was listening to Ariana Grande while I was doing my chores. My Mom asked me if I wanted to go to my friend's house later, and I accidentally said, "Something 'bout you~ makes me feel like a dangerous woman..." And she was like, "???"

So, my mom and dad when I was 2, cleaned up my little stuffies and put them on a cat couch that I used. They showed me the stuffies, and little idiot me proceeded to shout “MY FRENS!” And then the stuffed animals every which way.

so many things that i forget the funniest cause im basically a comedian

I think I once said, "you're so p.u.tiful" instead of 'beautiful' to my cat.

So my cousin took a video of this like when I was 5 (She was I think she's 13 now I don't remember how old she is ; - ;) But anyway so I was like 5 and we were on a road trip going to L.A then to Tahoe.So I said "I don't want to get back on the road WE JUST GOT ON LAND". Then before I left she said she would play it at my wedding :l