Hey Pandas, What Is The Funniest Thing That Has Ever Happened To You?

Once when I was a teenager and under the influence of some beers, I decided, in my infinite wisdom, that you should be able to inhale air through your nose as forcefully as you could blow it out of your nose. I decided to test my theory by extinguishing a match, placing it close to my nostrils and then inhaling rapidly. Yes, I put out the flame. Yes, the flame also goes straight up your nose and burns your nostrils and singes your nose hairs. No, your friends never let you forget it.

After being at my first REAL job as an adult for three months, I get chosen to make a presentation to the Board of Directors. I prepped so hard for this meeting for weeks. Three days before the big pres. I get my best "power suit" from the cleaners, polish my heels, go to bed early the night before. The morning arrives and I am READY! Nothing could stop me. Ten minutes before my scheduled time, I use the restroom, wash my hands, check my hair, my teeth, my make up and it is game time.
I go in to the board room and make my presentation and I AM ON IT. But for some reason, the room doesn't seem to be with me, but I power through and make my pitch. When I am finished, I walk around the table and shake everyone's hand and thank them for their time. As I walk by one of the department heads, I feel a tug at the waist of my skirt. I don't think any of it, I say my good byes and I leave the room walking on air.
I turn towards the elevators and catch a glimpse of my reflection in the window of an empty office...my skirt was tucked in my pantyhose. Twenty-five minutes of the (what I thought at the time) most awesome I would ever be and I did it with my skirt tucked in my pantyhose. I made an immediate beeline for the restroom, and started to cry. I stood in front of the mirror and went to pull my skirt out and only then did I realize, much to my horror, I had Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore on my underwear.

When I was a kid we had a family gathering. We weren’t allowed to drink soft drink very often so I took the opportunity and drank the little bits left in cans that people had finished. Well I didn’t realise they were using a can as an ashtray so you can imagine my horror when I drank out of the can. I had cigarette ash all through my mouth. Was so disgusting.

This was my friend: She was doing a line dance at school. Pretty easy. Step, step, kick, kick, kick. So she did it perfectly during practices. Then came the big day. Everybody was all dressed up. Her shoes were a size too big. She step stepped, and then kicked. Her left shoe flew off, and hit the principal in the head. It somehow bounced off, and hit this annoying boy in the head. His friend grabbed and tossed it back to my friend. They executed the dance perfectly, and everybody thought it was part of the act. Until the next day, when the principal came to school with a huge lump on her head.

I went to the wrong funeral once. Stood in line for over an hour before approaching the family to pay my respects. Finally took my head out of my own ass to realize I recognized no one in the room. Felt embarrassed but was already too committed so I pretended to know the deceased and said the obligatory "I'm sorry for your loss" then quickly high-tailed it out of there.
That was the day I learned that particular funeral home had two entrances.

I was under the influence of some beer next thing i know im home cooking food then i fall asleep on the couch. my mom came over the next day we hung out for a little bit and talked. after that she saw the sink and she offered to wash some dishes i said sure because i was going to do them that day. anyways i was extremely hungover when my mother screams i look and my steak that i was "microwaving" was actually in the dish washer being washed. now i get teased by my mom every time i see her.

When I was little, I found my second cousin's dirty bra. (She's 8 years older) I thought it was a water cup and spent hours laboriously filling it and drinking from it. I then found her tampons. By going through her trash. And then used the used tampons as nose plugs for swimming. Keep in mind I was 5 at the time.

Not me but my now 18 year old daughter.... During a volleyball game she broke her foot. I took her to the ER and back then (she was maybe 14 -15) she wanted to be a Dr. So as we're sitting in the room waiting for a doctor she was going around the room looking at stuff and asking me what it was. "Mom, what's that?" (pointing to a clear cylindrical object on the wall) "That's to suck out any blood or what not when you come in with an injury and then the insert comes out and they can dispose of it properly" "and that?" (pointing to nozzles coming out of the wall) "Those are oxygen tanks in the wall so they don't have to find one if someone needs it." She nodded intrigued. "And that?" Now I'm confused because she's pointing at a trash can. So I say slowly to her.... "The traaaasshhh can?" *in a inquisitive tone* She laughs, "No Mom I know what a trash can is, the thing on it." I looked again and instantly started laughing so hard I was crying. Sitting on the trash can was a CORDED phone. "(daughter) That's a phone!" She started laughing hysterically too, so bad that the nurse came in to see what the ruckus was. I told her "My daughter wants to know what that is (pointing to the trash can)" Poor nurse looked confused. "The trash can ?!" I started howling with laughter again. "No! What's on top." She thought for a minute then started joining us in our fit of laughter. It dawned on me at that moment that my daughter had never seen a phone with a chord on it. We had always had cordless or cell phones. I felt so old and so did the nurse. But to be fair, this is the same daughter that I once told her she had a beautiful profile, to which she responded with "Which one?" I was like huh? She responded with "Mom I have so many, Fb, Instagram, Snap..." OMG *face palm* this generation. lol.

My family was getting ready to go out to dinner with another family and I was almost ready. Hair was done, make-up was on point. Other than getting dressed, the last detail was to glue on false nails. I wanted to set my false thumbnails quickly so I Super Glued them on and sat on my thumbs. My husband walks in to tell me the other family is here - in the living room - and sees me, stark naked with my thumbs Super Glued to my naked butt. I'm panicked and don't know what to to do. He loudly says the following, "Let me get the camera. David, Tammy (other couple), get in here!".

I was on a train to Seattle, sleeper car. In the morning I went to take a shower, not knowing that someone reported the shower as broken (it wasn't). I finished my shower, grabbed a towel, and... the conductor opened the door to check on/fix the shower. So there I stood, shower cap perched on head, very small bath towel clutched in front of me, saying in my most haughty manner, "Excuuuse me?!?" The door slammed so fast, I think there was a sonic boom! Conductor was so embarrassed (guys standing around in the background probably needed to wash their eyes out with soap - I'm a big, older woman), he spent the rest of the trip apologizing, and gave me an extra bottle of commemorative champagne (it was over Christmas). I couldn't be mad at him - it was an accident, after all - but my own mother, who made the complaint about the shower - her I told off but good (JK).

When I was five, I often heard people say that fire fighters "put out the fire", and I made the mistake of thinking that they literally set light to things. In kindergarten they got some fire fighters to come and give us a lecture about fire safety, and I hatched a plan. During morning recess, I hid behind the slide at the play ground, and believe it or not but nobody noticed. During lunch recess, when everybody came out again, I joined them and pretended that I was there all along, only to find out that the fire fighters gave them lollipops.

once my brother said (very loudly and while we were on public transportation) DADDY, WHY IS YOUR PENIS SO HAIRY?

Last summer we just moved our baby chicks into one of the two outside coops. So I wanted to visit them and see how they where doing. I found the chicken I had claimed as mine and put her on my shoulder. She looked me straight in the eye and tried to peck my eye. I just waved my hand at her to get her to stop. My brother came around the corner and I asked him to take a picture. He took my phone from me and the chicken looked me in the eye again and this time she pecked me in the eye. My eyes stared to water and I asked him to help me to the house. I told my mom and she looked at my eye. There was a visible scratch across my cornea. My mom gave me some pain medication. We went to the ER and the put this neon yellow fluid in my eye. They then used a uv light to see the scratch that was very visible (My mom wasn't very happy about that). I wiped my nose and saw that my snot was glowing. I started to freak out because I was in pain and now my snot was glowing. They gave me medicated eye drops that numbed the eye. It was the oddest feeling. The next few hours where a blur.

More embarrassing than funny at the time! My friend and I were in a production with the kindergarten kids when we were about thirteen. I had to wear a huge pineapple costume. It was very stuffy so I took off my school uniform underneath. Afterwards, I forgot I was only in my underwear and took off the pineapple in front of the whole school. My friend (who always did and still has my back), seeing my embarrassment, took off her pineapple too and started doing the Macerana. I joined in and the whole school practically died laughing XD

It didn't happen to me, but my brother. Once we went shopping at Target. My brother had to go to the restroom. He was only 5 so my mom had to go with him into the women's restrooms. Me and my mom waited at the sinks. My brother went into a stall, pulled his pants all the way down, didn't close the stall doors, and yelled "THAT'S A LOT OF PEE!" We never let him forget it.

When I was little me and my friend were really into dragons. In the basement of my house there was a room I wasn't allowed to go into and I could see flickering light under the door so we hatched a plan. Me and my friend went down the carpeted stairs squirting water on them the whole way down. AT the bottom we basically just peeked under the door. We gasped and ran away when we heard noises. I now know that was the boiler room and it had a window.

So I took a french class in elemtery school for five years straight, and one day i had to fart really badly and tried to hold it in but i sadly could not, i let out the biggest fart ever and the whole class looked at me and i was just looking around pretending i did nothing.

When i was living in spain a friend gifted me a pet bunny. He was very cute, fluffy, and i loved him dearly. Needless to say my spanish was not too good at the beginnig. Nonetheless I worked in a bar. There I told all the regulars about my sweet conejo (bunny). In spanisch. I got very mixed reactions. I told them about the soft fur my conejo had, the carrots he loved to eat etc. 10 days later someone took pity on me and told me that the word "conejo" has also another meaning: pussy. Ouch.

Well, my son was 4months old and constipated early one morning, so I called healthline(a free number to speak to a nurse) and was advised to give him a deep warm bath.
10 mins later there's frantic banging on my door: I open it and 8-12 police come in, saying someone had called them making threats to hurt themselves and animals. I was confused, and scared. They separated my partner and I and questioned us. I showed a cop my phone with the call log to say "see I called healthline not you guys" and he took my phone. Found out it was healthline who had received the complaint. After an hour of questioning and abuse from the cops, including being told I'm a dangerous liar and don't deserve my baby, they were going to haul us off to the psych dept of the hospital to "find out who the liar is". Well I remembered healthline records all calls, so I asked a cop if I had the right to call healthline to access recording and he begrudgingly told me I did have that right. I rang them, explained, and got to watch the sergeants face drop as he heard me on recording asking about my son's constipation like I'd told him from the start. Turns out healthline computers were fault and assigned my number as being the source of two simultaneous calls: mine and the threatening call. The officers left, no apologies given. If I hadn't been so shocked and shaken I would have filed a complaint. Still wish I had.

This happened about 2 years ago in my sophomore or freshman year of high school. In my Nutrition class we were making a dish that included jalapeno. I cut off a very tiny piece off the end of the jalapeno my group was using because I wanted to try it. I took a tiny bite out of the piece I cut, and literally 5 minutes later, I was in the nurse's office. It was much worse for me because I was classified as a super-taster.