Hey Pandas, What Is The Funniest Story You've Ever Heard? (Closed)

So I was talking w my friend group at lunch and this girl was talking about her dream where she had a mansion and each room was filled with something, and one room was filled w bouncy balls. We were talking about if her parents would ever let her do that and a teacher began the walk by. I said “don’t worry, when your older you can buy all the balls you want.” The teacher gave us a weird look and I quote said “this better not be sexual I just delt with the other table and what they were discussing was not pretty.”

Last week a local jacka$$ in my class went to Tim Hortons and bought some stuff. Any hoo, when he went outside, he saw a car parked in front of the building with an icicle on e exhaust pipe. So he took it and ate it. His friends told him they could smell gasoline. He ate the god damn iceicle. Last thing I heard was that he was at the hospital.