Hey Pandas, What Is The Funniest Story From Your Life? (Closed)

A couple of weeks ago, I heard my neighbors cat meowing, so I responded with a "meow" of my own. This went on for about 3-4 exchanges until I opened the door and found it was not a cat, it was just another dude meowing back at me. So many unanswered questions.

well, I left my chromebook open and my parents saw BP and saw my user name. so that's how I came out to my parents.

Okay, storytime!! So about 3 or 4 days ago my Lil bro was being potty trained still. he said he had to go to the bathroom, he went in there and I think like 5 minutes late this dude comes out and starts looking in the battery drawer. I was like me-"bro what are you doing??" Lil bro-"it's dead" he replies "it not working" me-"What's not working?" "my butt... It's not working" So long story short... He couldn't go to the bathroom so he thought his butt was dead and started looking for a battery... lmao get's me laughing every time!!!! XD

I know I already posted, but I just remembered something else. So I was in 6th grade, and we had just learned about real numbers and "imaginary numbers" (still don't fully know what they are). So we were talking about what we did in school that day, and I was like "I learned about imaginary and real numbers." At that moment in time, my brain came up with the idea to make stuff up about imaginary numbers and try to get my sister to believe me. So I started saying like "lamp+lamp=tree," and stuff like that. My brother eventually joined in, but my sister wasn't fully sold yet. And finally, my mom joined in and my sister was sold. She went and told her teacher the next day, and afterwards she was like "You made all that 'imaginary number stuff up, right?" We still make fun of her today over it.

Not me but my brother. When he was like one, my dad was greeting people at a church. A guy walked in, who had always been known for being a nice guy (this plays in later on). So the man walked in, and my dad said hi. Then my brother (like 1-2 years old at the time), who was in my dad's arms, just yelled "You're bwack!" My dad and the man just turned to my brother with a shocked look on their face. My dad asked "What did you say?", and again my bro yelled "You're bwack!" My dad then reluctantly apologized, but the guy was like "Don't be sorry, he's telling the truth!". Luckily that guy had a sense of humor.

I am 11, so I like to make forts. EVERYWHERE. My mom took one down the other day, and it was next to my bed. I was used to rolling off of my bed, and onto the mattress on the floor of my fort. That is how you get out of most of my forts. Well, it was 2 A.M. and I forgot it wasn't there. I rolled onto the cold, hard, wooded floor. So I started laughing because I was so dumb. I AM LITERALLY THE MEANING OF ROTFL!!!

In Middle school I had an undiagnosed food allergy that gave me gas whenever I drank milk. One time in math class I had to fart. I wasn't about to ask the teacher if I could go outside to fart so I tried let it out silently. What actually happened was the loudest fart any earth creature had ever made. I started laughing out of embarrassment and the farts started coming out like a machine gun. This went on for what felt like several minutes until I was out of gas and everyone was looking at me. I spent the rest of class with my head on my desk and my face red.

Btw, I was really young so you know how our mind works. I thought that everything from movies and books was real so when I saw a man dressed in a black suit, black pants, black shoes, black sunglasses and a black hat, I thought he was a bad guy. I ran away from my dad and I interrogated him. He was flustered and tried to bring me to my dad. He took my hand when he was bringing me to my dad so I started screaming "This bad guy is kidnapping me". Lots of drama but eventually it was sorted out. He was actually a business man who was really kind.

Mine would be yelling at this one person and everyone was backing me up. I'm about to yell at them if they tell me non-binary is the same as trans again. I know my sexuality and no one can change it.

So one time i was drinkinking a glass of apple juice, with ice cubes and an ice cube went down the wrong way causing me to choke and pass out i was like 11 at the time so i woke up on the ground with my family around me they picked me up and shoved me in the car and brought me to emergency. i was fine

I do not care if nobody believes me, this actually happened.

So when my dad was little, his granddad(my great granddad) had a boat. So my great granddad, my grandma, and my grandfather went on the boat while my great grandma was with my aunt and my dad, who were very little. A few hours after they left, they came back. My great granddad has to go lay down because he hurt his back. My grandpa comes in looking so annoyed, and in walks my grandma. She is dripping wet, and my great grandma says, "Nancy, what happened?". And my grandma says, "I walked off a pier."

How it happened: They were all towing the boat lines, and my grandma is walking, sees the sign that says END OF PIER, and walks off. My great granddad has to reach over the edge of the pier to get her. and hurts his back in the process. My grandma is fine, just crazy.

Well, this isn't the best, but it makes me crack up every time. I was 4 years old and my mom had just come back with the groceries. She looked in one of the bags and saw that a potato was missing. Then she saw me, sitting on the ground, the potato in one hand and a Mr. Potato Head in the other, looking back and forth in confusion.

What I am about to write I would like to say that I am not proud of the person I once was.
Kids in school would fight each other. Me on the other hand would fight with the teachers. I was so uncontrollable I was put into boarding school for bad boys. Ironic thing is, is that I am now a teacher myself. If there was a school reunion and I told them what I do for a living they would be ROTFL!
I'm just hoping there is never going to be a school reunion!

When I was like 6 or 7 my dad took me to the store and he was looking at which kind of something to get(I can’t remember) but I got bored and saw something shiny at the other side of the aisle and so I went and looked at it and get it and then I just got distracted and wondered off and it took 15 minutes to find me.

Ok I have 2 stories I don't know if they are funny now but they were when they happened.

Story 1 - When I was like 4 or 5 I had a dog and I was supposed to go clean up her poop in the backyard. We had the set of the little rake and dustpan to clean it up, but no. I had to grab a bucket from underneath the porch and pick up all the poop by hand. I was covered in it and it smelled sooooo bad.

Story 2 - When I was about the same age as the first story we had a fence that showed where our backyard was. Well I was sick of playing so I decided to climb over the fence. Turns out I'm not very good at climbing, I made it over into our neighbors yard and realized I couldn't get back over. Well I went to the front door and rang the doorbell, my mom answered it and immediately told me I was grounded for 2 WEEKS! Maybe instead of grounding me she could have taught me how to climb like a good mother would.

Back in my early 20s, myself and bunch of friends were staying at our one friend's parents' house while they were away. Pretty basic stuff-drinking and having the craic in general until we all passed out. Then in the middle of the night, we all wake up to BLOOD CURDLING SCREAMING. [I have never ever been so terrified in my life as I was that moment I woke up.] The bravest of us [not me] had run straight to the source of the scream, one of the 2 guest rooms. By the time I got there, the screaming had stopped, although Friend 1 was still clutching her blankets in bed and looking absolutely petrified.

Friend 2 was just stepping out of the closet. According to Friend 1, she woke up to Friend 2 (who has a loooooooooong history of sleep walking and sleep talking) stumbling around the room in the dark until he sort of cornered himself in the closet. At which point he began screaming at Friend 1--"ARE YOU SERIOUS FRIEND 1, ARE YOU F**KING SERIOUS?!?!?", then Friend 1 started screaming, then Friend 2 started screaming, and there we were.

Friend 2's explanation: "I don't know what her problem was, I was just trying to find the bathroom."

We didn't manage to laugh about it until the following day [AND LAUGH WE DID], but 15+ years later, we still tell this story to anyone who will listen.

i don't remember many funny things (i'll post again if i do) but i do remember at lunchtime during school a few years ago me and a bunch of other kids got in an argument about the tooth fairy. I was on the believing side.

I
We're a chinese-Jamaican family, but both my sister and I were born in Canada, so we only understand a bit of Chinese. Recently, a Chinese fusion restaurant opened near where my sister lives. She and her friends tried it out, loved it, and on the way out, she saw a Chinese word on the door, and decided to memorize it. Next time she and her family were over, she raved about the restaurant, and smugly said, "I even remember how to write the name!". Surprised, my parents get her pen and paper, and she starts writing it out. My mom's looking over her shoulder, and suddenly starts laughing. Sister: "what's so funny?" Mom: "do you know what that says?!". Sister: "it isn't the name of the restaurant?!" Mom: "nope!" Sister: "so, what does it say?". Mom: *laughing "push to open"

One time I was telling my friend about how I got stung by a bee and then proceeded to get stung by a bee at that very moment.

The funniest story would be that I was on my period and I was having a lot of mood swings so 1 min I would happy then sad etc I was with my guy friends we were talking suddenly my blood leaked from my pad my guy friends stared at me and laughed I was like what's so funny about periods and they said that they understand all their sisters have got theirs to till now they call me and laugh about this incident I have shifted so we talk on google docs and google meet but I am so glad to have friends like that and the worst part is they make fun of me on their period and I can't punch through a laptop hope you enjoyed the story