Hey Pandas, What Is The Craziest Thing Your Family Member Has Done? (Closed)

My mom did drugs and was secretly a prostitute behind my dad's back. My dad then took care of us. My mom hasn't seen us in years, but know she has the audacity to talk to us, even though she abused me and my sister. We are now going to court, and she is playing the victim,a saying that we need a mother, not a father. It's crazy how dads are so under-appreciated!

I had a psycho family member vote for Trump, both times.

My late mother, a devout Evangelical, cornered me in my bedroom, tackled me and sat on me, "praying" for jesus to bind and cast satan out of me because I was possessed. This was prompted by my having listened to a mix tape of 80's punk music (this was in like 1987 or so). In subsequent months/years, she hung crucifixes in my closet and snuck into my room in the middle of the nigh to "anoint" my forehead with baby oil in the sign of the cross. I was the only one in my school with a zit crucifix.

My uncle disappeared for like 3 years and then, just when we had given him up for dead, he reappeared in a hot pink Cadillac with a monkey in the passenger seat. I swear on my grandmother's grave this is true.

when i was around 7 i woke up and found my mom & aunt sitting at the table, drinking coffee. not that unusual except they were filthy w/dirt, mud, & stuff in their hair. they were just laughing and talking & but they didn't answer my questions re their appearance. fast forward a decade & i asked mom again what was going on that morning. with a very embarassed look she explained that she & my aunt found out where they were filming cool hand luke & they tried to sneak into the area through the fields to get a glimpse of paul newman. she said she thought she saw them but someone either saw or heard them & they took off through the field and bushes. mom & aunt thelma...there was a reason we used to refer to them as lucy and ethel.

That family member would be me. Attempting to remove a lawnmower blade by switching the lawnmower on, whilst holding a wrench in my hand to dislodge a stubborn nut. A BLADE. ROTATING AT 3,000 RPM. MY HAND, 1CM AWAY? What the f uck could go wrong. What the f uck was I thinking? I still have a hand. But more by luck than judgment.

My family decided to do foster care. I want to raise awareness for foster care, and every child needs loving care and a home. What a crazy experience! 😀

The aunt that no one talks to saw me in the supermarket together with my then boyfriend when I just started college. I had gained a bit of weight since she last had seen me.
Aunt: “Oh you are pregnant!”
Me: “No I am not.”
Aunt: “Come on be honest that guy over there made you pregnant!”
Me: “No. I had a tough time and I don’t like where this convo is going. Bye.”

Next few weeks my moms landline was ringing non-stop, people whom she hadn’t talked to for years called to congratulate her for becoming a grandma. My mom knowing about the weird encounter told them that crazy aunt made it up and they had a good laugh.

Fast forward 2 years later. A former friend of my mom called to congratulate my mom for becoming a grandma. My mom didn’t get what he was talking about, and the friend explained that he had met crazy aunt earlier that week and she had told him that I would have given birth just recently.

So now she’s not just known as crazy aunt, but also as the aunt who impregnated me AND kept me pregnant for 2 entire years. Never received any baby gifts from her.

My brother dated a literal psychopathy. Like a lot of people say that when they don't like their families partners but she did some really creepy demented crap that I can't share for legal reasons. Hate her guts. If you're listening you fake brown haired *****, get out of our lives.

Ex-family now, but my former father-in-law had a habit of complaining at every restaurant to get discounts and free gift cards - and there was really never anything wrong or he exaggerated any problems. One time he did this a a place where I am a regular customer and it was so embarassing. I told my then wife that I will never go out to dinner with her father again. Well, it's not an issue anymore...

Murder, just murder

Well, I thought of this when my aunt gave alcohol (5 different cans) to my 15-year-old cousin and her friend each! And I just want to raise awareness that whether someone does something like that, I just want to know I am not the only one who has this.

After my dad died, his brother visited my mom. He insisted that she buy special cereal, which he then didn't eat. He pointed at things his mother had given my father, expecting them "back". When he left, he took a bunch of family papers - of my mother's family.

when I was 11 my mum would make me and my sisters "redo" arguments STAIGHT AFTERWARDS while we were STILL MAD AT EACHOTHER and we had to keep redoing it until she was happy we were polite enough. meanwhile, she got angry all the time and no-one made her redo it!
>:(

Oh there are so many, my family is crazy on both sides. But a tamer one would be the time my dad almost died. In his late teens, he and some buddies were at a local hangout when a car full of cute girls cruised by, calling out to them and daring them to follow them. So they hop into the car, chasing each other at breakneck speeds down dirt country roads. My dad lost control of his car, flipped it, and landed underneath it. This was in the days before seat belt laws, and older cars sometimes didn’t even have seatbelts. He only remembers laying there with his friends wailing ‘we’ve killed him!’ The girls felt so bad they all came to visit him in the hospital, crying and one promising to go out with him when he got better. I’m totally expecting him to be all ‘and that’s how I met your mother’ but when I asked if he went out with her, he said he never saw her again when he got out of the hospital. So… totally worth almost killing yourself for, yes?

Meth heads, pill-poppers, theives, and sex offender, and one that went into the hospital with a bag of meth in her vagina...under police custody.. Oh she went to the hospital to have a baby.

Not my family... Just a family from my past.

One of my younger sisters was pretty rowdy... got into a lot of fights, was always getting suspended from school, spent a weekend in juvie. One time she got into an altercation with a girl in a parking lot. The girl was yelling from the driver's seat of her car, and my sister was outside. At some point, my sister proceeded to jumping on the girl's car hood and pulling her up through the sunroof by her hair. The girl's weave came loose in my sister's hand, and she fell off the car allowing the girl to drive away. The next morning my sister threw a shopping bag full of weave onto the girl's porch.

My mom who hardly ever drinks one night got drunk, when I was in fifth grade. Now she got drunk right after me and my sister went to bed, my dad wasn't home yet. But at like 10 at night she calls me and my sister to the dining table right. and when we get there she had given us frozen peas and raw chicken. mind you, we already had dinner. And she was cooking several other things and it scared me and my sister. so my sister seeing that my mom had a giant stain on her shirt called my dad and my dad came home soon as possible and sent us to bed and took care of my mom.

Cured themselves of sepsis ... by doing basically nothing.

I. do. not. know. how.

The Tale as it was relayed to me:
My eldest uncle, who was well into his 70s by this time, AND also lives (yep. still alive today...) in a tropical country in a very 'out of the way and poor' area. You know, bumpkin-town, like 50 people in the village... 2 hour drive to the nearest halfway decent medical center.

He got sick, didn't want to go to the doctor because it was expensive, told no one, not even his like... 3 or 4 adult children who worked 'in the city'. They finally came to see him on the weekend... found him knockin' on death's door.

They freak the heck out (obviously...) and RUSH him to the hospital...

Doctor checks him out... then comes back and tells them "So, your father, he WAS sick ... and he has sepsis *that is in the stages of recovery*.. we didn't do or add anything, just helping with hydration right now. He reversed his own sepsis."

To this day... haven't quite figured out how. There's more than one doctor/specialists in the fam... they can't quite explain it either.

Me and 9 of my cousins (not all first cousins, some were second cousins, others once removed) drove a golf cart when 0 of us had a drivers license. My grandpa let us drive under his supervision. Now you’d think that “oh one of them crashed.”

It wasn’t just one of us, because the way we were driving meant 6 of us all wanted to drive but nobody could decide who. So I was the “gps,” 2 of my cousins were doing the pedals, 1 was a booster seat, and 2 steered. We crashed into the palmettos where we found a bag of chips and ate them.

If you were wondering how old we were, the 4 passengers were 6,13, and 10. Me and the brake cousin were 6, the booster seat was 15, the two people who were steering were 8, and the person on the gas was 12.