Hey Pandas, What Is Something You Wish Someone Told You Before? (Closed)

The thing I wish I knew is sometimes the only reason people are around you because they need something and when you stop letting them use you it becomes a problem

The lottery numbers. That would have been awfully convenient.

When people say that "marriage is hard" and they don't explain how or why. I have heard many people say this growing up yet they don't give examples or explanations. Now that I have gotten to THAT point in my adult life, I wished someone would have enlightened me beforehand HOW it was hard and WHAT they did to help it so my family wouldn't be on the brink of divorce.

That when you "grow up" you don't magically have all the answers or have it all together. We don't all have to have the married with house and kids life. I thought I was the odd one out but it turns out nobody has it all together. If it seems that someone does then it's an illusion. We all have troubles finding our place in this world. I think if I had been told this I wouldn't have spent so long trying to "fix" my life by basing it on other people's ideas of what life should be.

That the world doesn't spin around me...I'm not the center of the universe and i'm not extra special only for my "great personality/ enthousiasme"

That birth was no walk in the park. Even movies make it look easy. Raising children is the hardest thing in the damn world. And sometimes you can lose a child, and you will have surviors guilt because of it. I'm not complaining about being a parent. I love my children. But sometimes it gets to me and I end up in my bathroom crying when they talk back or straight up disrespect you cause they are mad at someone else.
I wish I never saw my son dead, I wish they didn't make caskets that small. I wish no one had to lose a child. No one prepared me or warned me. Even my grandma who lost her girl this way.
Also no one told me no one would want to talk to you after two weeks when losing your kid except your children and spouse. It's messed up man. I've turned my back on alot of people do to their behavior towards me and my husband. We don't just get over it.

Year five soccer at lunch is dangerous. Bye bye collarbone

I wished my mom told me (I was 5 at that time so it's not time for me to hear out family problems) that my paternal grandpa was narcissistic

1. Seek an effing psychologist already.
2. Ignore your family's expectation as "the golden child".

1. Just because it works for everyone else/is the "normal" way to do it, does not mean it is the best. Whatever works best for YOU and gets the goal done is the best way to do it. Do not feel shame because the expected (ex. neurotypical) way to do things doesn't work for you.

2. Not being able to explain yourself to others/in a way that matches how others seem to do it does not mean you don't understand yourself. I may be crap at putting things into words but when I realized I don't need to and I can understand whats going on in my brain in my own way, my life got a lot better. I don't need to simple, stable, or explainable to others.

That my family has a lot of problems.
That my parents aren't actually as respectful as they think they are.

That you have to fix every mistake and bad feeling to make it go away. Sometimes it’s better to do nothing.

People always say 'Time flies' but it has been such a common throwaway comment that I never paid any heed to it. Until now, I'm 44. And I don't know where the years went. I wish somebody had just sat me down and said
'NO!, you don't get it. One minute you're worried about stickers and pencil cases and the next minute half of your life is over.'

Man, it goes fast. Enjoy being young. You'll miss it so make the most of it.