Hey Pandas, What Is Something You Need To Get Off Your Chest?

This will get buried

I am a minor (this will help you understand)

My friend was acting weird and then later asked me out, I said yes because they are manipulative and would of hurt me if I said no, and knowing I have autism, still asked me to kiss them after I said my brain stopped me from doing things like that. She later got mad at me for not looking at her. I’m still dating her but I hate it to the point I’m scared to hang out alone with her, as she might do something (she is 13 and had same gender sex but told me all about it 😖). Soon after I trusted her again and accidentally put my self harm scissors in my bag, which she looked through and stole them and wouldn’t give them back until I shouted at her (the next day) and they were broken. I am too scared to break up with her

I don’t feel right, I like being biologically female but it feels odd and I hate having pronouns or a name (it’s not my name that’s the problem, I could have any name and it would be the same). I use they/them and that feels better, but no one seems to care

I go through things where I am either overexcited or having suicidal thoughts and I feel like nobody likes me, or knows me and I’m crying while typing this because nobody cares and I’ll get in trouble for telling people these things because “nothing bad has happened so you are faking for attention”

Sorry you had to read that
Nobody else knows any of this but I feel a bit better getting it off my chest