Hey Pandas, What Is Something That You Have Lost That You Wish You Could Get Back? (Closed)

My mind. A massive breakdown many years ago has meant that the second half of my life has been spent living as someone else. Oh, I suppose you wanted something light and frothy as a reply. Sorry.

My desire to help humanity. Covidiots killed it, and now I'm just going through the motions. And, as a medical doctor, that's just so frigging wrong. I do my best, but... my heart for it's gone.

My innate happiness and love of life...

My sister. She’s not dead, but depression messed her up really badly, and she hasn’t been the same since.

My pet cat. He passed away 3 years ago and I miss him every day

My 3 dogs. Sadly, it's impossible to get all of them back, as one passed away recently. I still have hope for the other two.

I know this is probably not what you meant but my self confidence. When I was younger I used to have high confidence and wasn’t afraid to express myself. As soon as I entered grade school though- I completely lost all of it

My mother's memory. Dementia is a horrible, horrible thing. It strips away everything. I miss my mom, even though she's still here.

So many things. My ability to remember stuff. Not having ED. Feeling h0rny (I dont and havent for like 20 years). My eyesight. My willingness to let myself love a new person. Smooth skin. Hair on my head. Age isn't kind.

I miss the feeling of "loving", both romantically and platonically. Being let down many times by family, friends, best friends, and peoples I used to trust for multiple times, has made me numb to such feelings. Nowadays, no one being special in my life, nor I can feel deeply compassionate towards people. Even if I help and show some sympathy towards others, it is nothing more than formalities as a good citizen and/or human being...

me, mentally and physically. 29 years ago i was diagnosed with a chronic and painful neuromuscular disorder, and it has stolen my ability to think clearly and disabled my body from the 24/7 pain/fatigue. i refuse to take pain meds because of the side effects. everyday when i wake up, i have to make the decision to get up and have a life of sorts. i know that sounds horrible, and it is. but i refuse to give up and chose to find joy in the little things.

Honestly... hope. Hope for a happy future and living a fulfilling life. Not slaving away at a job I hate, which pays pretty much nothing and doesn't allow me to save anything.

my sanity

My innocence. I was the purest, sweetest, bouncy little kid. Where did it all go!? 😭

My pet rabbits. They died over teb years ago but I still remember what their furr felt like or their unconditional love for me or how they melted away under my touch.

I would love to get pet rabbits again but my current place and living situation isn't ideal for pets sadly :(

My mother-in-law. She was killed in a motorcycle accident because some 16 year old kid didn't see her. She would have loved her granddaughters and I'm sad that they never got to meet her.

My childhood. Thanks to my abusive selfish, self-absorbed, abusive and neglectful parents I lost out on having one.

My father gave me a Montblanc pen when I was 15. I cherished that pen. That pen traveled to every country that I have lived in and signed every contract to any job that I have held including my current job.
Cut to 25 years later since receiving said pen, my beautiful wife doesn't realize it was in one of my pockets before throwing my clothes in the laundry.
The pen was destroyed, like completely fubared. There was no fixing it. I still love my wife.

my eagerness to trust people and make friends.

My pet rat and her softness and warmth on my cheek when she sat on my shoulder.