Hey Pandas, What Is Something That Has Been Eating You Up? (Closed)

I don’t know how to tell my husband how bad things really are with my depression. On average I have been showering once a week, brushing my hair only when I have to go out but if it doesn’t look messy then I wont worry about brushing it at all. I brush my teeth probably twice a week and gargle mouthwash twice a week, I spend most of my days in bed and am tired ALL THE TIME, I am (trying to) nap more, I just want days to be over so I can just sleep but then I struggle to sleep coz of my RLS and insomnia and I can’t stop thinking out how much I want to change and get pissed at myself for wasting another day but then I do the same thing the next day. I am finding it harder to find joy in the things I usually love and one of them is music. I am not dancing to music as much as I used to, I seem to tune it out more. I am in chronic pain every damn day, partly because of a deformity and partly because of my weight. My weight causes more pain on my hips, my knees and my feet. I have plantar fasciitis and heel spurs, I have just recently recovered from a cuboid displacement. All these issues effect my mobility coz of the absolute pain. I want to lose weight but I have been diagnosed with Obsessive compulsive eating disorder. All I think about is food even though I feel nauseous from the idea of eating or from overeating. I will be eating my lunch and all I can think of is my next meal. I feel absolutely DISGUSTED in myself and beat myself up pretty much every night. But for some stupid reason my brain doesn’t think about ANY iota of that the next day and I just carry on like every other day. I have done therapy for fucking years, I have done cognitive behavioural therapy, a few different antidepressants, meditation, hypnotherapy, many diets, shakes, positive affirmations, looked into religion (hey I am desperate), and I am pretty sure there are other things but I just can’t think of them right now. My next step is a vision board and last week my mum, my brothers and myself have started a weight loss challenge. I’m not doing that well, I have replaced a lot of bad foods with good foods but I am still snacking a lot. Next week my brother and I are signing up for the gym coz we don’t want to go by ourselves. Anyway sorry to just stop here, I don’t know what else to say. Good night.

I have said this on: https://www.boredpanda.com/hey-pandas-what-is-the-most-paranormal-thing-that-has-ever-happened-to-you/ and I will say it again. Why do people keep giving others downvotes for no reason at all? I find it stupid as how someone could make others feel bad- for just sharing their story??? I know that people agree with me on this, and I feel like people should have empathy for others as getting downvotes can hurt peoples feelings.

I'm 17 years old. I am about to be 18. I have no job, no license, and no real world experience because my parents won't let me. I am genuinely worried about how I will fare in the adult world due to my lack of experience.

Well, I got a COVID test yesterday. I'm going to have the results tomorrow, and I can't sleep, because I'm just thinking about it day and night. I keep thinking, "I've taken all the precautions, but could I have it?" I will update when I get results. Stay safe during these times, pandas!

I lost my brother to heart disease in May. 2 of my sisters have been diagnosed with cancer this year. Our other sister has had serious, life threatening health issues for years. So far, I'm the only one who has stayed healthy. All this worries me because I know it is hard on our 83 year old mother. 😢

My friends and I tease each other a lot but lately some of the things we say actually ends up hurting me. I don't want to tell them because that's how we have fun. Who am I to take away from that?

I’m 17 and a senior in high school and for the last 5 years I have been struggling with my sexuality. It’s a very confusing thing to think about. I am a girl who likes girls and I’ve just recently came to terms about it. But I can’t be who I am, or who I want the be because my parents are so small minded. I am a Christian who loves god but I also love girls and I don’t think god would condemn me for it. I feel like I’m alone in this journey and I need help.

Bacteria

I'm struggling to label my sexuality. For years I've been sure I'm bi and I've had experiences with guys and girls that seemed to back this up. However, recently, I've come to realise that I just don't like getting physical. With anyone. I feel absolutely nothing even when I'm with people I have very strong feelings for.
Maybe I'm too inexperienced or maybe I haven't found the right person. But its always a little worry in the back of my mind.

My partner and I have been together almost 4 years. We have a condo (rental), a cat, furniture, a life together. I love him. But this relationship has become so miserable, and so toxic... There's nothing I can do to make him happy except to leave him alone. I'm basically not "allowed" to get emotional about the state of our relationship or he explodes and storms off. We have had the breakup conversation so many times it seems cliché. And now it seems like things are finally at the end. He's got a wealthy family, and if we part ways and move out, he has no worries about what will happen to his life. In fact, he's convinced it will get better. I on the other hand send money to my mom, have ruined my credit trying to keep this household afloat (with zero recognition for it), and couldn't get a lease again if my life depended on it. IE if the relationship fails, I am next to homeless. I even dropped out of grad school 3 years ago and started working in restaurants to support us when he was unemployed. He's talked so much shit to our mutual friends about me I feel like I don't even have any anymore. It feels like my whole life is just falling apart, one step at a time.

I don't know how to tell my mom what I want. I just feel like if I do I will burst out Crying and she'll think something is wrong with me. And I'm scared of what she will think. I know she already disapproves of me trying to become an actor and well asking for her help I don't know how she will react. I just want to be a good daughter while having my dream job.

Having to cancel anything most of the time (friend meetings, family gatherings, fun, trips, projects at work, life basically) due to flare ups of chronic illness. It pains me to say "I can't" tens of times in a row to friends and family. I'm afraid of what awaits for me in the future in terms of my illness.

That when a person very close to me died, I could not attend the funeral due to the Covid-19 lockdown. The guilt of not being able to go does not help with my severe clinical depression

I am 11, and I'm not sure why, but ever since a few years ago, I've been extremely dirty minded. I imagine all sorts of really nasty things, and sometimes I look inappropriate things up. I have been trying so hard to stop and clear my mind of this filth, but I'm struggling. It's been devouring me for years now.

This is hard for me to say. Anyway, my parents are very devotional Hindus. I grew up believing it. I mean, it's the only religion-like concept that I've been introduced to. But recently, I've been having doubts. They're always at the back of my mind. I read the Mahabharata, (it's like a bible, but in Hinduism) I read the whole entire thing, and the first thing I thought was that I believed none of it. The sad thing is that I learn devotional dance too, and I always feel so guilty doing it, knowing that I don't believe in the stories that I'm representing with my dancing. I don't want to tell my parents. Truthfully, my mom and I don't have the best relationship and religion is something that we connected to. Without it, what would happen? I'm scared, and it feels horrible to have to pretend to believe something you don't. I just don't know what to do.

somebody told me I'm the reason they want to die. why? because I'm "too sad" LIKE DUDE I LITERALLY HAVE (ALMOST CRIPPLING) DEPRESSION. It does not feel great... I'm starting to think that if I don't exist she will be happier.....

The fact that it isn't likely that I will be remembered for anything I have or haven't done. So many people are forgotten every year and very few are remembered for anything, be it good or bad.

I'm feeling really really sad. Not a lot enthuses me at the moment and I have a lovely boyfriend, nice house and a new kitten. I feel guilty for feeling sad and find it difficult to explain to people why, let alone understand it myself

My mother and brother accusing me of being a drug addict. 4 years ago, and I'm still bitter. I didn't go to the ER seeking drugs. I went because I was in pain from the 10 centimeter tumor inside my uterus. I guess they realized their mistake after the surgeons spent 8 hours cutting it out of me, but I never got an apology. Never even admitted they were wrong. Sometimes I hate my family.

I think I might have anxiety? Like clinical anxiety. I’ve alway been a worried person, but it’s gotten out of hand. Twice now, I’ve had moments when I’m super anxious and scared to the point that I had to work hard to make myself leave my room. I also have this thing where I feel overwhelmed by really small things, sometimes just noises. But, I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or not. I know I’m stressed, but is it a real problem? And how do I let my parents know that I’m at least super worn out, or at most need to see a therapist?