Hey Pandas, What Is Something Bad That You're Good At?

Falling UP the stairs, I’m a ballet dancer, but outside of dance I’m a total klutz

So I'm autistic and I have the taking things literally trait but it presents as every time someone says something with a double meaning I have to point it out or make a pun/reference or I can't think about anything else. It's hilarious sometimes and I can mask in some settings but when I can't it annoys the heck out of people. Like my therapist will be trying to talk about something serious and I'm like HEY DID YOU KNOW SI is also the system of scientific measurement??? Or if there's a misunderstanding and someone's upset and someone trying to clarify says that was a joke, I'll say ha ha, fat chance almost without fail. It annoys me too but if I do it on purpose I can be a good entertainment.

Lying. I was a compulsive liar growing up. A past therapist said it was due to my troubles at home. My wild stories at 10 turned into lies at 16+ that allowed me to get away with anything. I’d look you right in the eye and you’d want to trust me.

I’m 35 now and am, some would say, too honest. I get embarrassed about my past lying when I think about it.

Lock picking. My mom collected padlocks and combination locks when I was growing up. Among other weird things druggies collect. I learned how to pick locks at 8 years old and I didn’t stop until I was 14 years old and got caught picking the lock to the library door when I wanted to read and couldn’t get in. I never picked anyones home lock or into private diaries, boxes, etc.

Talking endlessly about dinosaurs 😅 if only i could volunteer at a dinosaur museum where it wouldn’t annoy everyone 😩

Screwing up my life, apparently.

Manipulating people. I’m an empathetic person so depending on what it is I’ll feel bad, but I’m really good at getting what I want and playing people. This is probably part of the reason I have serious trust issues

I'm quite good at making people uncomfortable. I speak in a cold, collected tone of voice, say a few unsettling facts, and *poof* they go away.

I can make a 3lb bag of Haribo gummy bears disappear in about 6 hours.

Sarcasm

Instantly diffusing a vibe.
I can make anyone question what they are doing and why they are doing it. I end a lot of conversations like this, for better or worse.
I think it's probably because I lack a lot of social experience, and I'm very inarticulate at times.

I have a lot of creativity and imagination concerning insults, and sometimes punchlines.

Lying! I know how to make a lie believable and unquestioned. I don’t like to do it often but I have learned the tricks to make it sound nonchalant and believable. As a straight shooter, goody-goody I am able to deliver a lie with minimal issues, but I try to use my evil powers only when I really need to get out of major conflict or trouble.

I know this has already been said and I dont do this with any bad intentions but I am really good at lying and manipulation. Sometimes if i obviously haven’t done something I lie and say I have have, I have around a 96% success rate oop-

I'm very good at insulting people.
Some people consider me mean but I try not to use it often.
It's nice sometimes.

Maintaining.

If the cops are called to a party, I'm the one talking to them (and usually getting us off). This actually led to a lot of drunk driving in my youth (something I've since corrected) because I got so used to being the defacto driver.

Being abrasive. Usually when someone annoys me, I just pretend to listen. (That’s another thing, knowing how to look like I’m listening) But if I really don’t want to talk to someone, I’m very good at making the conversation short and letting them know I don’t want to talk without actually having to say it out loud.

I’m good at a mixture of things that aren’t good for me, lol. I’m good at faking emotions and empathy, so if I get cornered or people start yelling at me, I can make myself cry and it usually gets them to stop. I also really good at flattering people in a way to get what I want. Usually I just use that for books or drawing supplies.

But probably the worst thing that I’m good at it is getting into things I shouldn’t while being under heavy observation. My parents took my phone awhile back, and my door because I lost all their trust and got a phone behind their backs. While being under those guidelines, I got two more phones and managed to hide them for several days+.

I didn’t say I was proud of all of this either. I promise, I’m a really nice person irl. I just have really bad habits that I can’t control. I’m working on it though!

If someone hit me, like my brothers I will hit them back without hesitation

Lying. About small stuff. To my friends. Or making stuff up. I’m pretty much convincing, but it also handy when they ask questions I don’t like about me, or say something incredibly wrong and then ASK me if I’m angry seconds later.
Basically I just lie when I HAVE to, or when they’re getting infuriating about something they keep bugging me about. The weird thing is that it’s impossible for people who really know me to be convinced, my family would just be like ‘yeah RIGHT!’
And I smooth lies too, because I remember lies and stuff I make up to keep it going to my friends. But only when I absolutely have to.
And I can pretty much debate my way out of anything, but I KNOW for a fact that it’s infuriating because my ex BFF sees this one flaw she doesn’t like in stuff you tell her, and she never lets go. She just start using ways and technique to MAKE you say you’re wrong. Like she want to know exactly EVERYTHING about you and I can’t just leave something out.
You probably noticed she’s my EX bff.
So I try not to be infuriating, but with all the MORONS walking around in school saying the most INCONSIDERATE and just TOTALLY insane things, well, if I can’t say anything nice I’d say NOTHING at all.
That’s why people say I have autism. No offense to the people with autism].