Hey Pandas, What Do You Think About Weddings And Wedding Culture?

If you're engaged to someone who cares more about the wedding than the marriage, run. Run fast, run far.

Please do not ask me to contribute to your honeymoon fund when you have been together for nine years, own a home together, are childfree, and spent in excess of $100,000 on the wedding.

Ive seen some couples in divorce before the wedding has paid for. our wedding cost $48 ($28 for the license), took 15 minutes. that was 37 years ago

In general, I think weddings are boring and pretentious.

Big expensive weddings are leaning toward tacky and out of style I think. The bridezilla and groomzilla selfish demanders are pathetic. Its absolutely great to celebrate the special day but keeping it simple is classy and is also probably a good indicator that the couple is thinking about the marriage rather than just the big day.

A ritual celebration joining two people who wish to spend their lives together isn't necessarily a bad thing. Having said that, the cost of 'traditional' western weddings these days is nothing short of extortionate. Simple vows before a magistrate with a handful of close family and/or friends should suffice, and save tens of thousands.

As it is presented in the media and copied by countless starry eyed wannabes - no thanks. Old saying: "Marry in haste - repent at leisure." How many marriages last these days because of the false hopes and me first attitudes of immature people?

Consider also the lingering patriarchal attitudes of many men, especially man babies. You are marrying a person, not a mother/housekeeper/s*x toy. You are marrying a person, not a sugar daddy/handyman/s*x toy. Their feelings are real and matter. How well do you really know one another? Are you safe with one another? What do you both want to achieve together?

I think the basis of marriage has to be at least friendship, trust and mutual respect first. Talk to one another. Share your hopes and dreams. Be honest about your finances and do a pre-nup.

I love my husband. We needed a witness. Legal stuff. Engaged with judge. Brother and SIL witnessed. Good enough. You need more? Rock on. The rings cost marginally more than the Justice of the Peace. Easy peasy. No drama

In the interests of equality I think partners should exchange engagement rings. As a woman, I don't see why the man is expected to give an (expensive) engagement gift without receiving a reciprocal gift.

Hen's and Bachelor's trips are agenerally ridiculous financial burden on the wedding party as evidenced on so many posts here.

The whole white dress and veil thing is outdated - we're not all teenage virgins. Wear joyous party colours, patterns, florals. Have more fun with it.

If I'm giving a gift and going to the trouble of attending your wedding, then don't ask me to then contribute to your honeyoon, wishing well and other tacky nonsense.

Like most things today weddings have become about "keeping up" and putting on a better show than friends and relatives. Originally both partners lived apart, often still with parents. Today many have been living together and even have children together. The idea of gifts was intended to help the new couple set up a home, often no longer relevant.

I think the historical reasons for it are well out of date now, but there are still legal and tax reasons for doing it. It's largely to do with inheritance, child support and so on. People have never been particularly bothered about the "forsaking all others" part - the rich and powerful had mistresses all over the place.

Show off is not good. Spending millions of yen on a ceremony is a worthless waste and drain of money. You know my dream wedding? We get it registered, e-mail everyone that we are married in the eyes of the law now. This happens in the morning. Evening, we fly to Paris. Have a great time.

You get to find someone you love. Commit to them. And for some reason you want to do it by spending a fortune on a party and demanding people basically refurnish your house like you are 18 year old just moving out of their parents house. Truly do not get it. If you want to get married, you love and respect that person, you go for it. The pageantry around your life choice (not accomplishment) is so weird.

Have been a wedding photographer for a while, it all starts with a nice couple being happy who spend a lot of money to make everybody happy except thereselfs. Stopped photographing weddings at all, got sick of the emails after a year or so about the couple being split up.

We got married after decades. He wanted to make sure I would be taken care of if anything happened to him.

I'm old enough to remember when the couple, with the aid of family, paid for a wedding they could afford. A hugely expensive wedding for a couple who didn't have that kind of money was not going to earn them respect and status. People would just think they were idiots.

I like the trend towards smaller weddings and larger receptions I am seeing in my age cohort (Millennials). I totally get it, though, that folks who have large families in particular wanting something slightly larger altogether.

Happy to be 55 and single with no friends so I will never go through that t*****e of being married again. I moved a lot. The one time I did it was in the county clerk's office standing outside of a cubicle. Then we went out for dinner. Probably the highlight of it.

I ended up having to go to the law library after he filed. I won. Got nothing from him and he was on the hook for his own attorney fees. It was a DIY divorce response, and in TX no less. He went on afterward to be on the SO registry and living in mommy's basement.

Bottom line: trust your instincts and do your research.

Keep em quick, I don't want to sit around uncomfortable for hours, otherwise I would have just gone to work.

Weddings are about close family and friends celebrating the union of two people who want to make a life together. Big or small, make it about everyone having fun - not just about the bride's perfect Instagram moment! (P.S. No one cares how much you spent on the dress you will wear only once in your life!)