Hey Pandas, What Always Happens In Books But Never Happens In Real Life? (Closed)

Smirking. If people smirked in real life as much as in fiction, there'd be an epidemic of slapped faces, with me at the epicenter.

*She/he could see it in her eyes...* Seriously, we don't actually do that.

The good guys win, girls don't get their periods or cramps, women's issues are non-existent, the main characters are always "clumsy" but then are super pretty/handsome, smart or good at combat. And no lgbtq+++ people get beaten up, harassed, or murdered in the streets for loving who they love.

Ugly Duckling trope - all she had to do was lose the glasses and put her hair down...

I never got my hogwarts letter at 11, no one has knocked on my door telling me I'm long lost royalty, all the wardrobes I've walked into have a back, and I've never once had a moment where the sky shined upon me as the chosen one. I'm a few years away from Gandalf popping up like a daisy asking me if I want to go on an adventure.

There's still hope.

happy ending

This is kind of dumb but......
No one ever needs to go to the bathroom in the middle of a huge scene (exploring a new realm/saving the universe etc) in books

It always starts raining when the main character is sad.

Identical twins with the same personality.

The good guys win. Justice was served etc

The secret heir trope - ie the orphan kid finds out he's secretly been a prince, wizard, etc.

I have never spent time in front of the mirror contemplating my boobs and butt, which most male authors seem to think women do. (Mostly I admire my tattoos in the mirror and flex.)

Entering/exiting houses through windows. Like, yeah, technically you can do it, but NOBODY DOES. Windows are not meant to be an entrance. What is up with that, Edward Cullen? Romeo? Forrest Gump? Prince from Rapunzel? Ron Weasley? Sara Crewe?

Finding out that a magical/fantastical world really does exist only it kept hidden from normal people.

Only one person - an ignored scientist, the janitor, a teenager, or a dog (yeah, dogs are people too - LOL) can save the world from destruction.

When they bleed a lot yet somehow still live.

The popular guy falls for unpopular girl

People never have to pee unless they have some funny line for it.

I have yet to visit a dimly lit, dusty bookstore where the odd little old proprietor gives me a secret book for free and nods knowingly when I take it with me.

Well I never got to meet a mysterious stranger who will end up saving my life and I will end up falling in love with them and they'll tell me that I'm actually a demon slayer and my father is a supervillian thing and I have a long lost brother who also wants to destroy the world and my best friend turns into a vampire but the mysterious stranger who i fell in love with is actually my sibling even though i am in love with him but actually surprise they're not but i gotta save the world like 8 times
Never happened. Thoroughly dissatisfied with my boring life.