Hey Pandas, Wanna Rant?

Copied and pasted from another post but yk

Had to edit for swearing I apologise

I would not recommend reading this if triggered by mental health things

Everything is a mess atm.

Ok so recently my ex (platonic) boyfriend has broken up with me but tbf we were kinda broken for a little but I thought it was getting better but apparently not. They tried to cheat on me but my friend are the best so they put a stop to that. Um we kinda broke up before that as well because we went poly cause they got a crush on someone else too which I was cool with but then I was completely ignored which tbh sucks and it turned out I was 2nd best and I wasn't dealing with that. And then it turned out they r slightly racist which ik is a red flag but yk I kinda ignored that because ngl I'm extremely stupid. And I'm still friends with them. They're genuinely a good guy too which makes it confusing as hell. Also I have a squish (platonic crush) on someone else at the same time as my ex partner which is fun to deal with... Now I think about it I think I develop squishes on people who develop crushes on me-
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Lot's of my friends mental health really bad atm. Some suicide attempts and stuff from people... Even the ones who act the most ok which is scary and genuinely luckily I usually know about what's going on cause I'm the person people talk so I get to help.
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I'm extremely touch starved atm which ain't pleasant.. ik there's more stuff but I can't really think of more atm. Just stressed ig

Ok I have more to add now from just [1 day not too long ago] so enjoy that.

Had to help 1 of my friend's bf break up with her while my friend already felt bad and cut herself and was shaking worrying she did something wrong because she was being ignored by him. His mental health was just really really bad and I had to break the news that he needed to break up...

1 of my closest friends tried to kill themself. Again. Had to force the information out of them even tho I already knew but had to pretend I didn't-

I saw a child, younger than me for sure with cuts on her arm and I felt so bad for her

I realised I've been trying to quit sh for almost a year now and am still messing up occasionally

Another one of my friends gad a mini breakdown thing idk what to call it and asked me for a blade which I lied and said I didn't have it...

EVERYONE around me is struggling around me so I have no friends I can talk to atm

Idrk what else to say tbf it's just been a bad couple of days. Probably forgetting some things lol

I'm waiting in line at the pharmacy. I've had to pee since before I got here, but there were like 5 people so I figured just go after. Don't want the line to get longer and I want to go home. There's only one more person ahead of me. Her meds appear to be on the counter, but she is holding up the f**king line for the past 5 to 10 minutes because the coupons that she has for the several packages of cookies is not valid. I don't know why but this lady is buggin' the f*** out over it arguing with the one pharmacist working. It's 10% off! Even if it's the stores fault, do you need to hold everything?! Apparently so because she is refusing to move until she speaks with a supervisor. Now there's a huge line behind me, guess I made the right call, but I have to pee!! She's still there, arguing she should get 10% off her cookies. And she really just looked behind and saw the line and she's like 'sorry, they won't let me use the coupon.' I can't leave the line and go to the bathroom I'll here here another 20 minutes. I swear if she doesn't stop demanding her invalid coupon valid and leave the line, I'm going to grab her cookies, the coupon and I'm going to pee on them. Good luck using that coupon after that you entitled old bat!!!

I think I might be kinda creepy for doing this but I have a talk friend who gives the only kind of hug I like I feel guilty for liking his but not anyone else’s but I can hug him and hear his heartbeat and I know I’m creepy but it’s so comforting and I don’t why. I can’t go to other places without weird looks for my white hair (I have a white strand but I’m young) and dark skin. My looks don’t add up at all. I feel bad for not liking hardly any real people romantically and only ever liking just one. For all of my life I will be stuck having a crush on book characters. I can’t wear a shirt without them getting sweat stains. It doesn’t matter how much deodorant I wear it always happens. I feel kinda guilty writing this long but maybe someone is this bored to keep reading and I’m struggling and need to vent. I finally have almost made it to a year self harm free and I fear I’m not going to make it. It doesn’t matter how much time passes there will always be scars. The scars are from darker times. I don’t want to watch to keep watching the same kids shows that remind me of a time when I was happy. I don’t want to need my shadow figure creature Cleo sitting by my bed to protect me. I don’t want to love the sound of my friends heartbeat. I don’t like how I see shadows without something in front/behind it.

Copy and pasted from another rant post: So, there is a boy in my pe class who bullies me daily. I go to a private school that I’ve gone to all my life, so I am not used to being bullied. He physically hurts me, targets me, and occasionally hurts my friends. The thing that really gets me is when he goes after my friends, but he has hurt me so bad that I am on the floor crying, trying to gain my breath back. My friends are awesome, but they are both shy and don’t stand up to him. Just to clarify, I am a junior high girl, and the kid bullying me is a seventh grade boy, which is really embarrassing, so only my friends know. He constantly threatens to hurt me, and our pe teacher is horrible and hasn’t noticed anything. I feel like I should give the guy some sympathy since his parents are dead and he is raised by his grandma, but still. I don’t know what to do. I have just been faking injuries to get out of pe recently, but that isn’t working anymore. What do I do?

I’m sorry but one more: I’m in love with my best friend, and he doesn’t know. He calls me his sister, and was revolted when someone suggested we were a thing. He also already has a girl, and she’s great. He is a sweet, shy, nerdy guy, and I love him. What do I do? Just suck it up?

Sorry, it was a long rant