Hey Pandas, Vent Here If You Have Something To Get Off Your Chest (Closed)

I have never been someone’s first choice. There’s always someone they would chose over me. I’m the friend in the group who has to walk behind everyone else if the walkway narrows. I’m the person who someone interrupts because no one cares about what I have to say. I sit in a group of people and realize I’m the least important person there, I get up and walk away and no one notices. If someone betrayed me 1,000 times, I will still be there for them if they needed it and they wouldn’t care. And the worst part is...I bottle it all up because if I talk to anyone about myself, I feel guilty like I’m “seeking attention” or putting a burden on them.

Hey, Pandas! I know my step dad hates me for some reason. When I met him and my Mom introduced me to him, he looked at me like I just ran over his dog. I know he likes my Mom, he just wishes she had no kids. He finds every single way to annoy me and scold me, and there's nothing I can about it since he's the parent! It's so annoying, and I'm tired of him treating me like this.

I have nothing to vent about which I guess is good.

I feel like no one cares about me and even if someone did they would still choose someone else over me to talk to. I cant talk about my feelings without completely breaking down and it has gotten so bad im at the point that i am crying myslef to sleep every night. I cant look at myself in the mirror without picking out every single little flaw about how i look and why i think im ugly, Even if people say im not ugly i deny it cuz all i see when i look at myself are the flaws. I have had suicidal thoughts which i did get help for after my mom noticed something.... But now at like 2-3 in the morning i will think what would happen if i did......... I have no privacy for anything. I have alot of things i wish i could tell my parents but i just feel like they wouldnt care. Most of the friends ive ever had turned out to be fake and would always turn there backs on me and leave me. No one ever cares about how i feel and will just talk over me while im trying to talk. And even if i did have a friend something always happens to them. I just feel like nobody cares about me and i feel like no one will. Sorry I over shared......

My friends take forever to answer my texts I'll text them and they text me back like a day or two later. I feel very ignored I start to speak to someone and then another one of their friends speaks and they talk to them instead of me.

Oh sh**, where do I start. WELL, my mum read my messages, long story short, she found out I was transgender. This was early January and I had known since November, but, because my brain just wouldn’t accept this fact I tried to make myself more ‘feminine’ by wearing dressed and makeup, ect. She doesn’t believe I’m trans because of the ‘dress incident’, which, in my opinion, is very sexist and kinda transphobic.
Another thing I have to rant about is my friend. They are a show-off, no offence, and they always go on about how good they are at school. They criticise my writing quite a lot, even though they know I want to be a author, and I think ‘no offence’ is their catchphrase. Whenever I try ask them for help, like, for example, how sad I was feeling, they either leave me on read OR completely ignore me asking for help and go on about how hard THEIR life is.
I have EVEN MORE to rant about, sorry, but once I start talking you can’t shut me up. I absolutely HATE my home life. Nothing is that bad about it, but, I’m super unhappy with my mum. I’ve tried to run away once and packed a bag and stuff because I planned to run away countless times.
I have a lot more to rant about, but I’ll shut up!

I'm the one and only sibling of an autistic boy. This is the way I've been described by most since I was around 5 years old, when my brother was diagnosed.
Since then, I've felt like my needs have been ignored. As an example, before my brother was diagnosed, my parents talked about me maybe having ADHD, as I had all the symptoms. In fact, I know they were looking into it, then dropped it a few months before my brother was diagnosed.
I've also been dismissed over stupid things. Whenever I would try to contribute to conversations, I was told to 'not be dumb'. Whenever I was talking or doing s**t, I remember being told to "be quite" or "shut up".
Also, there is the expectation to be the perfect child. I have been literally told, in these exact words, that if I wasn't top in class, I wasn't enough. I've been beaten over getting a 95, not a 100, etc. I remember my father making me stay up past 3 o'clock when I was 7, just to finish an algebra worksheet I couldn't understand. Next day, at school, my best friend complained about going to bed at 8:30. Honestly, it wasn't out of the usual. I've been used to being compared and looked down on since I was like, 6. I have to play an instrument, do sports, get straight A's, do Kumon, yet I'm never enough.

I've also struggled with self esteem, I've never been able to look in the mirror and be happy with myself. I feel selfish and stupid if I even think, "Wow, I look nice today."
Sorry for the rant, thanks if you're still reading this.

I’ve always felt like a monster. The way people talk to me, the way they react when I have something to say, it’s just hard. They make me feel dangerous, they make me feel messed up, broken, one of my friends did this the other day to me. I won’t name her, but it made me feel even worse. Of course, she didn’t mean it, but it happened. I thought I was like a storm. I wrote a poem, too. Here’s the poem

Am I like a storm? Angry, raging, erupting at any time? Lighting strikes, yeah, but it’s the result of my fury. Knocking people down, hurting people, spiraling out of control. It pours down. Tears run down my face. Weather forecasters don’t like storms, am I a burden? I’m uncontrollable, I hurt people, like a storm.

I'm so freaking done with boys. I hate them. Not all. Just 98%. And the last 3 I've liked have broken me so I'm kind of reduced to dust and I finally have someone who can accept that and help me and likes me and Will cuddle me during church. but hes still not super sure. So now I'm just kinda vibing trying to go along and not get too attached bc if I do an he breaks me then it will probably push me over the edge and I'm not gonna heal at all. Oh yeah. And my (ex) best guy friend? He ended up working so damn much he's gonna kill himself and he's lying to me about all the things he promised. So I haven't said a word to him since Christmas and he's not reaching out. And a guy is tryna rape me in science every day and I'm basically running to the front of the room and his friend is straight up TELLING me I want him. I don't and never will bc I'm asexual (haven't come out to many people or my family yet) and the teacher isn't doing anything and I'm gonna krill myself if it gets much colder because I CANT FISH...! I cope by fishing so if I don't for long enough...

I'm angry, I raised the kids, did all the basic right things. I finally was going to have a life outside the home. The moment I found a sense of self no one could handle it and made it difficult to do what I wanted (job). Made it so difficult i just quit. It was prob my last chance to have a career and not end up a waitress at a diner again. Time is against me, family is against me, and I'm tired of fighting

I’m TERRIFIED for this new semester in school because I have History now and I HATE history because I’m horrible at it and I just don’t get it and I’m already procrastinating on my assignments because people say they’re hard and my brain is just screaming at me telling me to do them but I’m doing absolutely nothing about it and idk why and I just hate history. :((

I hate my teachers and they are the worst

My mom found my phone password and read all of my messages from my class group chat. Then my crushes who does not go to my school with me asked for my advice cuz two guys in her class said ILY.

2.5 years ago, we had this intern, kind of a loner, a bit rude, but I thought it was because of a slight handicap he had and that he felt self-conscious. I was one of the few people speaking German at our company and I once had to help him with a text, otherwise, I never even said anything to him. A few days after, he sat at my table at lunch, I didn't see anything in it, I don't even remember what he said. I received an email from him asking how I were doing and if I wanted to have lunch together. I got the hint and was so busy that I just ignored his mail, while I kept thinking about a good response to decline without hurting him. I know how wrong that was now. Being busy with so much, I thought to just ignore it eventually and hoped he would get the message, because he never should have had my email address. Guys who'd asked me out before, understood me when I made clear that we had no future, but in this case, I just blocked. I didn't hear from him again until autumn. He mysteriously showed up at my floor. He always sat at a desk where he could see me clearly, he for some reason circled around my part of the office whenever he could and I saw him watching me many times. I was really getting freaked out and tried to find explanations and why his actions had nothing to do with me. I stopped going out on breaks, colleagues asking me whether everything was okay, I began to just hide behind my desk. He was there everyday before I began. I was getting scared while commuting, going around the office, hiding in the cafeteria in the mornings as much as I could. I just physically wanted to pretend he didn't exist. He'd used his handicap often to get his goal and to turn things his way when he had a disagreement with a colleague because he took others' stuff and couldn't respect their personal space. I started noticing that my stuff had been tampered with, I found holiday cards stuffed in my belongings at work, letters were sent to my address. He told people I was his girlfriend and that he'd gone on dates with me and that we did stuff together, you know. A male colleague told me this and I was so ashamed and livid and initially reacted angrily at a colleague trying to help. At that point, I feared what everyone was saying about me and just made that colleague clear that I had barely ever spoken to the creep. Idiot me felt pity for the douche and I didn't go to the police. Instead, I worried my family, because they knew something was bothering me, I was losing weight and hair and all my energy was gone. When I received letters home, I just just thought to myself that I could bear it if anything happened to me, but not if he mistook one of my sisters for me and anything happened to my family. I just feel nauseous thinking about it. I ended up cleaning my desk thoroughly every day, throwing out all of my paperwork: he found my personal data by going through my stuff, info he never would have had otherwise. Via a colleague telling me he lived near my town, he wanted to have me drive in his car. I watched my back, fearing I'd be run over. I first threw away his letters without reading, then kept some as evidence if anything happened to me. One morning, I was starting work and he approached me and handed me a gift card. I just froze and didn't accept it. He continued by saying my sister advised him that brand and I didn't hear the rest. I went crazy and yelled at him to please leave my family alone. That I had nothing against him and that he should understand I wasn't interested in him. He was taken aback by that reaction, apologized and then went back to work because by then, other colleagues entered. As soon as I could, I confided in my boss and she asked me about involving the police and I said I didn't want to ruin his life. He was reprimanded by the intern agency. My boss told me she knew that something was going on with me and that she was disappointed that I didn't confide in her. Part 1.

Part 2. He told them that he easily got my contact data from the internet, which was not the case. Before that, he quickly intervened by getting a desk at another floor that same morning and telling a female buddy of his that I was overreacting and bitchy. She then wrote me an email about what a catch he was and why I was being such a diva. I prepared to tell my sister everything that evening. I learned from her that my boss had contacted her asking what gift I'd like to have as a good employee. I thought that was weird, because that's not how things work. I found out he posed as my boss and my sister gave him advice as what to get for me. I didn't tell my parents. For a few months, I was left alone, then I received the letters again, phone calls in the middle of the night where he hung up immediately. I blocked him everywhere several times with each number. He wrote a personal letter to my Father explaining he wanted to be a part of our family, convert and so on. Fortunately, my Mom was there when my dad opened that letter. She knew it was something weird and immediately convinced him it was some sort of ad and luckily, it was written so badly that my father couldn't make much out of it. So, I had to tell my mom everything and logically, she was horrified. I convinced her that after the last time I told him off, he would leave me alone and that unless something happened to me, the police couldn't do anything and they also, wouldn't: the bastard made it clear at work that he used to be at the police force. As a last straw, he found out the address of my colleague and put a present for me in her mail, because they lived near eachother. She was weirded out and gave it to me. She didn't know about him. I was so ashamed and she, as an older woman, said she'd tell him off if I wanted to and I told her no. She just threw the present back in his mail after I told him off again. A few weeks later, I received another gift in my mail saying how I was the one for him. I finally caved and went to the police. They conveniently couldn't find his data and told that they couldn't do anything because I wasn't harmed in any way. I was welcome to call if I felt unsafe. Since then, I have kept everything as evidence and just watched my back and my family's as good as I can. Soon after my police visit, the lockdown started. He's been laid off and I have worked from home for the past year. I guess it's good that even creeps don't want to get sick. Honestly, I don't wish him any evil, I just want some peace of mind, whichever way. I know I should move on, but the entire situation still haunts me and I still feel the consequences. There were times that I knew he was following me with his car and I just wanted to run onto the road and have it all over. Death seemed better to me than being kidnapped or worse, having my family hurt. It just messed me up. I just don't trust men and feel paranoid and powerless. I feel such shame and so dirty and just want to move on. It's a very personal kind of terror I wouldn't wish upon anyone. I have talked about this to others as little as possible, but I needed to say this here. I'm doing better, I even put up a profile picture of me a few months ago as a signal for myself that I could trust more. I hope to work from home as much as possible and to have an excuse for not going out. My biggest regret is having put my family, friends and colleagues in possible danger. And not dealing immediately and forcefully with a dangerous individual. He knows how to manipulate people and how to get things in his favour. They have a type and know very well what they're doing. My advice to others: don't be a victim, don't let evil destroy you until you're just a nervous shell of who you were. If you feel uncomfortable with a situation, react immediately. It's better to apologize for a misunderstanding later than putting up with danger. I just needed this. Thank you, all. Stay safe!

Ok so to start off i never want to rant because i always feel like i have it so good, and that me ranting is just me sounding like a selfish bitch, but since this is a place to rant, i guess i just will. First off i feel bad because i had/have a friend who's a really nice girl but she went through hard stuff when she was younger and i have it really good so i kind of feel pressured not to say anything bad about my life when im with her which is why im not really close with her anymore but it makes me feel bad, second is i always rant to my other friend, and then i want to point out and say sorry for how self-centered i am cuz i never ask about him, but then i feel like pointing that out would just be for show and make me more self-centered which i dont want to be but i always feel like i am, and third is my parents always remind me of how good i have it and that i shouldnt complain but even though i always had more stuff than everyone else, most of my friends are allowed to do more stuff and once my mom told me "I could give you everything in the world and it still wouldn't be enough" and all i could think is, "Maybe i don't want everything in the world, maybe i just want to fit in somewhere and not be judged constantly, or have a normal life where i'm allowed to be myself and complain about things and not always feel pressured about something" so yea theres my rant and if i sound like a snotty bitch, well i kinda feel like one soo

I swear to God my parents are soo homophobic to the point where I hate it. They always say that it's a so called "sin" and I don't even understand why. I can't even come out to them because I'm afraid that they'll kick me out or something. I just wish they weren't so religious.

I have just been keeping in this poem I wrote about my crush and feel like I should share it somehow.

♥Your smile makes my lips curve up on their own, and when I realize that I have been smiling for too long I have to push them down, with all my might.
♥Your touch makes me feel warm, relaxed, and comforted even on the coldest night.
♥Your jokes make me laugh so hard my stomach starts to hurt and I can't breathe, even when they don't make any sense.
♥Your eyes when we look at each other tell me exactly how you feel before you tell me.
♥Your words make me feel loved, appreciated, and like the luckiest girl in the world.
♥Seeing you fills me with joy.
Love is like a wadded-up ball of yarn, you never know where it starts, where it ends, or how to use it. But you will never forget the feeling love gives you.

Hope you liked it!

I feel alone sometimes. I am in middle school, with 4 sibling 2 to youngest, shares a room, and basically the forgotten one. My other sibling either are suck-ups, or always get me in trouble for dumb reasons that i never even did. Whenever i make an accomplishment, my mom is barley acknowledging it,while when one of my other sibling draws a hat or something they get praised and get to go shopping or something new. Im not saying my mom doesn’t care about em, but she doesn’t love me as much as my other sibling. The only times my mom will take me to do something is on Christmas, birthday, easter, or a few other days of the year. People, before you hate and say other people have it waaaay worse. I know that. I just kind of wish a few things that could make my life a bit better. Thank you.

my friends cousin has snap and I got her snap and all I see on her posts are: “he left me I guess I should be out of this world...don’t worry guys I’m fine :)” “oml I feel sad everyday” ...do you rly need to share this? And she would post personal stuff too :^