Hey Pandas, Tell Me You're A Parent Without Telling Me You’re A Parent

I can open a bag of chips, cookies or candy silently.

I have uttered the words "Don't lick the cat."

I fear silence when they are not visible

I once accidentally wrote on my grocery list "Sesame Street" instead of "sesame seeds".

Over half of the items in my purse belong to other people

I can make up good night stories, varying the length according to the tiredness of the listener.

I haven't peed in peace for 3 years

There are socks all over my house. Behind the piano? Socks! Under the couch? Socks! In dresser drawers? ...No socks.

I just stepped on a Lego

My wife and I boast very impressive collections of rocks, sticks, feathers, shells, pine cones and uniquely stained articles of clothing.

I recently had a dinner at an exclusive interactive restaurant. It consisted of me drinking bath water out off chip the cup from Beauty and the Beast and my fellow diners were Belle, the Beast, Elsa, Ariel and a troll doll from the 90's. I was charged (verbatim) 1 thousand and 5 million pounds and they kept my card as well because I only pretended to drink the bath water.... I will not be going again... until tomorrow night. Hopefully if I break and drink the bath water with bubbles I may get my card back 😏🤭🤗

I can define the following terms: Bussin', Sus, Sheesh, My Dude, and Living Rent free . . . how ever I am not allowed to use them in a sentence, nor do I have any desire too.

I've said "Come here and let me smell your butt." on more than one occasion.

My food is always cold.

I have a pile of cheerio and goldfish sand at the bottom of my purse

I give treats for pooping.

I still think Dora the Explorer shouldn't be allowed to leave the house by herself and that she and Boots are-co-dependents.

Whenever she said, "I need your help," I would shout from the kitchen, "Again? Why? To count to five this time? For crying out loud, Dora, pull yourself together!"

I know what Santa will bring for Christmas!

Hey you're Kid's Name Mom.... yes 21 years later..😄

Baby shark do do do..