Hey Pandas, Tell Me Your Corniest Dad Joke (Closed)

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two tyred!

Looks like my two additions were downvoted to oblivion or reported for no valid reason by the trolls that are systematically attacking me.

They were, what do you call a fly without wings? A walk. And what do you call a joke without a punchline?

I’m reading a book about antigravity, it’s impossible to put down.

My dad is a corn magician his act is a-maize-ing, and it really pops.

How can you tell the difference between a male or a female snowman? Snow balls!

“Two men walk into a bar…. You’d think one of them would see it coming!”

-What do you call a blind deer?
-No eye deer.
-Well, what do you call a blind deer with no legs?
-Still no eye deer!

Someone said you sound like an owl.

(Who?)

When does a dad joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!

How do you catch a Unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it!

You know why the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!

How many goth kids does it take to change a lightbulb? None. DARKNESS RULES!

Can Napoleon go back to his homeland?
Corsican!

I bought a hair piece for $1.00. It was a low price toupee.

You've heard of Alphabet Soup? Get ready for... Times New Ramen.

My son asked me to explain what happens during an eclipse. I said, "no son".

What kind of cars to pirates drive?

A Toyota YARRis.

How can you tell you have elephants in your refrigerator?

You'll find their footprints in the jello.

What do you do when you see a spaceman?

You park there, man!

What do you get when you cross Lassie with Pegasus? A dog that chases airplanes