Hey Pandas, Talk About The Silly Things Your Pets Do, But Call Them Your Roommates

my roommate sits on me and proceeds to slowly and painfully stab me if i try to get up

My roommate is such a weirdo. He drags his bed out of the house and then sleeps wherever he left it...even if it's raining on him.
He also has this weird obsession with kissing cats without their permission and then shouting when they slap him.

My roommate grunts and rolls around when he doesn't get the attention he wants, and also eats socks

My roommate likes attacking fish toys and falling off of bookshelves

My roommate has a deathly fear of stairs and starts screaming loudly every time she has to go up or down them. Half the time I end up having to carry her.

My roommate poops in a box and sometimes he yells loudly to announce that he took a dump. If I wake up late, he yells at me to feed him. He also likes to sit on my lap and to sleep on me.

UGHHHH my roommates sh*t on the go, so I have to pick it up. Sometimes, they pee in their dishes and leave me to clean them. They scream at me to feed them, but they don't eat the pile of hay that they like to sit in. 🙄

My roommates float in a tank of water all day and stare out at me with beady eyes

my roommate has to come in the bathroom with me. if i dont let her come in then she'll sit outside the door and scream. if i do let her in then she sits on top of a cabinet and bites me while i poop. she likes to climb up screen doors and rip them, and if we leave a candle on the table then she'll try to play with fire. she's currently taking a nap on the kitchen table. pray for me.

my roommate carries a dirty yellow duck around everywhere and has claimed every chair in the house as his own, and lays on his back every time he sees me with his arms in the air

My roommate screams at me every morning and likes it when I scream back. He also gives me hugs when I wake up. He also keeps eating banana peels from the trash and throws them up everywhere

My roommate is an idiot and kind of creepy. They stand there watching me whether I'm watching tv or trying to take a nap. They always have a tennis ball in their mouth and their tongue hanging out. I sometimes throw their precious ball and my roommate literally runs into trees to get it back. My roommate is social enough but mostly hangs with me. My roommate is a cutie and it's fun to chill with him when he doesn't have a crazy gleam in his eyes and his head in my lap.

My roommate has a war with technology. We have caught her smacking the DVD player and chewing on various things while we're holding them. Remotes, laptops, cellphones, even mom's watch. She only does it if you are holding it, though.

My roommate insists on sleeping between my husband and I.

My roommate randomly gets up in the middle of the night and goes to lie down and sleep on the hardwood floor instead of their bed.

My roommate loves talking and singing, dancing too. He flies all over the place and loves giving me kisses. He absolutely loves to look at himself in the mirror and to tell himself how cute he is. He goes to the bathroom everywhere and I'm left to clean it up while he parties.

My roommate eats her own poop, and has convinced herself that bugs taste great.

My roommate is weirdly quiet, I'm pretty sure he's mute.
He doesn't eat unless I feed him from my hands.
When we go outside and it gets windy he curls up against my outer thigh.
He hates taking baths, and he always runs out of the bathroom when he has too (ew)
He always is licking me and likes it when I call him baby.
And he always sits on my laundry.

My roommate barged in the bathroom and hopped into the bath while I was in it.

One of my roommates barfed on my comforter.