Hey Pandas, If You Need To Vent, You Can Do It Here (Closed)

Everyone should have a means tested minimum income guaranteed by the government. Whether or not we are working. Along with affordable housing. This benefit drops as you get an job and earn more. No other benefits except for extreme cases like disability where extra care is required. Without have to worry about poverty , having enough to get by, we could all relax.

Is there something wrong with me because I love stuffed animals even though I’m almost 18? Stuffed animals are my emotional support objects.

I’m doing everything wrong, and everyone I know hates me, and my only friend moved away. I want to run away, but I’m to chicken, and every waking moment, my brother makes sure to be angry at me, for just being alive. I hate school, because evert day is just a reminder that my friend moved away, and I feel so upset and angry that I might literally explode from being all bottled up.
Every time I say something, i wonder if that was mean, or wrong, and then people glare at me and I hate it and I want to run away SO MUCH but i’m too scared. And all of the stuff my brother says echoes around in my head, telling me i’m a baby, and a scaredy cat, and useless, and it seems like my parents are always on his side, and every time I try to retaliate even one tiny bit, he gets either really angry and mean, or starts crying and tells our parents.
I have no idea what to do. And I feel like I might need to see a therapist, but then everybody will be angry at me, and they’ll se that I’m so messed up and not at all like a normal human, and then they’ll ship me off somewhere.
My parents and brother hate me for being on bp, and my brother is at this moment telling me to stop and do something else, but he thinks I’m writing a book. I feel like I’m lost in a maze, but it’s helping to write this, to get it all out. I really wish my friend was here, but she’s not. Stupid friend curse.
I’m so sick of living with my mean little s**t kitten of a brother, and I wish I could just be myself, but I’ll just have to wait until I’m 18.

I’m so scared someone (aka one of my parents) will see my vent and get mad at me that that could be a vent in itself , probably the smallest thing I feel most safe about talking about here is my classmates. They are fairly nice , except for this one kid. I was in social studies listening and this kid kept talking. It’s just a minor annoyance right? Well a few minutes later he started trying to stab me with a pencil, and for the rest of the day I tried to stay away from him so he wouldn’t hurt me .

I have covid! Again. Almost exactly 1 year after the last time I had covid... And, once again, I missed my city's pride celebration because of covid. (Don't ask me why they do it in September instead of during pride month, I don't know). And, if that wasn't bad enough, the fact that I have covid is preventing me from going to my appointment with the rheumatologist to figure out what's wrong with my wrist, so I'm still in really bad pain. So yeah, I'm just generally very miserable. Also I can't talk or breathe.

My parents suck sometimes. Like I love them and all but I have a twin who has anxiety and they always tell her to "suck it up" and my mom yells at her for getting nervous or not doing well on tests. I don't know if I can explain it very well but yeah. Also my dad is an alcoholic and tries to gaslight me and my siblings into thinking he doesn't drink even though we know where all of his alcohol is hidden and we can tell when he's drunk (and we can see shot glasses lined up in the dishwasher). My sister thinks she has appendicitis and wants to go to the hospital because her abdomen hurts and she has a fever, but my parents keep yelling at her to suck it up. She was trying to study for a quiz this morning and started crying because her stomach hurt, and my mom started screaming at her and wouldn't let her take a day off school or go to the ER. And my dad is claiming that me and my siblings are addicted to sugar and that we are fat, and keeps turning off the TV whenever he sees a "fat woman" because "we don't need to have bad role models".

I am trying really hard to be the best I can for my parents and they keep on thinking that I hate them. I am worried my actions are making my best friend lonely. I am trying to have "self love" but I'm worried I'm gonna just be an egotistical jerk. I am lonely even though my parents love me and all. I desperately want to find love but I can find anyone that could possibly be in a relationship with me. Im paranoid about everything I feel like I will never find love. I am not even supposed to be on bp. I am the least kind person in my family. I need to be more nurturing. I honestly just want a hug. I am relying so heavily on writing complicated stories about other peoples magical problems and fantasy romance. I am apparently to hard on myself but I dont want to be a screw up. I miss my dog and I miss my friend. Even though the relationships sucked I miss when a guy really liked me.

aghhhh it's not fun to be on bp anymore honestly. i would come here when i needed a break but i feel like there's so much going on now and it's so stressful and i don't know what's happening and nobody even really cares anymore so why bother?

I have suicidal thoughts but I don’t want to die. It would just be so much easier. Im Trans, I’m queer, I’m neurodivergent, I’m just messed up and I feel like no one will really accept me and that I will never be loved. I want help but I don’t want to hurt my parents or my friends but sometimes I feel like they wouldn’t really care. But I know it’ll mess up my future but I’m going die eventually anyway so is it really worth it? Am I really worth it?

Everything is just overwhelming. I'm stuck in an endless cycle. I get up early, zombie my way to school, hang out with friends for like ten minutes, go to classes, get on the bus for an hour and a half, walk the half mile home, and just do homework/lie around staring into space until dinner or taekwondo. I text my friends, but there's more drama and arguments than productive happy conversations, and I'm constantly worrying about something online. Like my friend vanishing for a bit, another friend's health issues, another one's parents, and all of this is combined with my stuff. I want to take a break but I can't. We're all super co-dependent, but not really. I like to think they depend on me as much as I do on them but they really don't. I'm replacable. I've seen others get kicked out and replaced. I'm worried I'm next, especially since I got into an "argument" with someone (they vanished after I had to go offline to stop panicking, and got mad at me for putting something that triggered them in my status (I knew it would trigger them but I didn't know they would see it))

my school computer keeps on blocking literally every single website i've ever been on. i'm really only here because they blocked everything else. i really really hope this doesn't happen again

I swear that nobody actually cares or likes me, I cause so many problems, it would have been better if I didn’t exist in the first place.

I got my teacher who’s known me for a year already to fill out a thing for ADHD (what he observes about me) and mail it to my doctor but I know there’s no way I could get a follow up appointment because someone would need to drive me and IDK what excuse to give my parents and I don’t want them to know! Oh I also might have autism but there’s no f*****g way I could probably get tested!

I feel like I cause a lot of the scapegoatness towards my sister from my mom because I’m the youngest and the stupid golden child.

I went to register for an extracurricular with my mom yesterday. As we stood around I started meandering off because I figured my mom would want me to meet people. She told me to get back to her RIGHT NOW and threatened to make me leave for my “snobby attitude” and if she ever heard about me having an attitude at my extracurricular she’d force me out. I have s****y emotional control because of my highly likely neurodivergence and from BEING EMOTIONALLY ABUSED MY WHOLE LIFE so yeah that’s gonna suck.

Whenever I make a mistake I have suicidal thoughts so that’s lovely. I could never tell anyone because then my parents would be notified and I don’t need my mom to smother me any f*****g more. Plus in the past my middle sister has basically given me stuff about her that’s worse than whatever problem I had at that moment and she has depression so I don’t need her to stress about me.

I still have moments of sadness about my online friend committing suicide 4 months ago, but otherwise I’ve healed thankfully