Hey Pandas, How’s Life? (Closed)

I’m very very tired, some days I just have no energy to get up.

Busy, crappy, painful, depressing, tiring and stressful. I am just fed up.

oh vent time I have Anxiety and depression I am stressed all the time my best friend committed suicide 2 months ago I don't eat really at all anymore or sleep currently its 4 am here and I can not sleep at all I tried to commit suicide 4 months ago which is part of the reason I don't wanna tell my parents about my depression because they'll just send me back to the hospital my brother is good at sports and my other brother is super creative and I'm supposed to be the smart child so I always feel like I'm under constant stress to live up to their expectations so I don't disappoint them and now with online I am really struggling with getting all of it done and to top it all off all my other friends were fake and I only put up with them because my best friend (the dead one) wanted to be popular so she needed her little posse so now I'm alone but I am literally so good at crying in the corner of my room for 4 hours straight and then going to school or breakfast with a smile on my face

Good, besides the pandemic, anxiety, the death of my cat, dry hands, pain, and waking up freezing cold in the middle of the night.

I feel like i'm in an ever lasting hell.

Honestly, pretty bad. I have depression, but my mom doesn't notice it and I'm to afraid to tell her. My sister does not listen to me and I am scared of never having a boyfriend.

Tired of online school... I hate it more than anything. Does anyone else think that maybe VA can let us just see a couple people after being totally locked down under a stay at home order for 10 FULL MONTHS. IM GOING A LITTLE CRAZY HERE. PLEASE SEND HELP

i found out i was bi and now i doubt who i am and i every time i want to do something new i tell myself that i'm doing it for attention

Ok, so I am still depressed, from this weekend, because of almost trying to kill myself. Like, I was *so close* to doing it, and I was terrified, as I was every time before that I tried to kill myself. I can't tell my grandmother because she would either think I'm saying it for attention or not understand why I've tried all those times. And I just am not enjoying life as much since 2020. It's been a year since my eating disorder became full-blown and ever since 2021 started, my depression is at an all-time high. I am finding it harder to stay happy for at least 15 minutes, and if I'm happy for longer than that, it's usually because I'm distracting myself with harmful stuff. And tonight, at 7:00 PM, I'll be one week clean from cutting. I hope I can go longer, but I'm feeling worse, and I feel like I may end up doing it again. And I'm feeling invalid, like I'm not suffering enough for people to love me, like I'm lying about my life, but I'm not lying about my life. I got molested from the age of 10 until the age of 13. The first time it happened, when my aunt heard of it, she said I was lying, and my grandmother believed her. So, my flipped out at me, and then my grandmother made me tell everyone who found out about it that I was lying. I still have body issues and I genuinely hate myself and my body. At this point, I see my body as trash, as something that shouldn't be on this planet. I don't tell anyone because they don't understand me, or they say I am lying/saying it for attention, or they say, "well it could be worse." Like, no, for me, my life can literally not be any worse because I literally have almost no father figures in my life(my biological father being an alcohol addict), and my biological mother left me when I was 5, so I feel like if even my parents don't love me, then I don't deserve to be loved or to be happy. I feel like I am only here to have older men prey on me for sexual satisfaction and to be emotionally tortured. Um, I guess that's all I've got. I don't know how much more I can take of my crappy life. I want it to end soon.

Pretty good, I'm not nearly as stressed as I was this time last year. I've decided to take this year to focus on my studies and personal projects.

it could be way better. i have depression from being abused im still being abused i cut just because i cant handle all the stress and i smoke cause it helps me i know i should not smoke but its hard to stop. i have tried to commit suicide 1 month ago people always say i should just die and that no one would miss me or care if im gone

yes.

If this is the sign you’ve been looking for then here it is, don’t do it it’s a dumb idea

Well, actually, it's not that bad. Exhausting and complicated, yes, but not that bad.

Kind of sucks being under a pandemic but what can I do? Overall my life is kinda sucky right now, but I made some new friends and live up to my best!

it sucks so much.. i have been abused by both of my parents and still face trauma every single day because of it but i'm glad i got out of my situation most people don't and its really sad

If I’m being even more honest , I don’t get friends , I do but every time I just get thrown away like I’m a f*****g toy! It hurts, and I try so hard to not cry I promise myself I won’t cry that I’m stronger then that but it’s so hard, I try to be kind and nice but I’m so bitter at life for all the nasty s**t it does to me that I can’t , I wanna tell people that I’m really a good person that I go deeper then the rough edges but if I do I’m vulnerable and liable to get hurt, it tires me out , I wanna say to my friends or what I have left of them ‘ i really love your company ! We should talk more often!’ But I can’t , I try to be everything everyone needs I don’t like seeing others suffer so I take their pain make it mine and carry them until they are ready to stand, I’m worn down and used all the time, I just wanna lay under the stars and cry to someone but I can’t , I wanna be open and say ‘hey I really like you, do you like me?’ So a certain someone yet that would make me feel uncomfortable and very vulnerable , I know that I need to say something to stop helping and help myself but it brings me so much joy to see them smile when I pick them up off the ground and tell them that I’m here for them, I’m torn and tired, I just want some peace.

Sad and lonely. The love of my life just passed away from end stage kidney failure. He was 45. He died on 1/11/2021. We have two kids together 7 and 5