Hey Pandas, How Would You Get Rid Of A Body? (Closed)

just stuff it into an animatronic

I bet the FBI is really looking at this thread.

Get the body and put it in a hole and plant some protected flowers over it.

Bring it out into a rural area with a large wild hog population, preferably not long after sunset.
It will be completely gone in about half an hour.

...You could dump it in a sewer or something, they wouldn't look down there

To be honest...I'd just burn it and bury the ash.

cut the body up in to hundreds of little cubes and spread them everywhere

1. hide it in a box at your house in a closet
2. tell the police anonymously "I saw someone digging in the woods"
3. wait for the police to finish investigating and turn up with nothing
4. go to the woods and bury your body. they won't find it cause they already looked there

don't ask how I know this

I-I am kinda worried why you are wondering this BUT anyway I'll give you ALL my ideas.
1. A cemetery
2. burn 'em, give the bones to a dog to chew on, and bury the ashes in sand
3. pig pen (they eat everything, yes, including bones)
4. dig 12 feet down NOT 6, but 12. Put the body in the hole and bury it then put a dead animal and bury that. SO when they dig it up it'll just be an animal and they dont see it bc the body will be 12 feet down not 6 ;).

there yall go. There all my ideas. Right now as im typing this Grammarly thinks my content sounds Confident, disapproving, and informative.. What do yall think??

Tell someone else to do it

The local police provide free body disposal services for you. They even provide on scene pick up! One call does it all!

Body Disposal 101:
By Prowl

Remove the head and fingers, which makes it harder to ID. "Lose" the head in a body of water, and bury the fingers somewhere moist with lots of insects.

Dismember the body, and soak it in bleach, to make it harder to find fingerprints and dna.

Scatter the parts, and cover the body in blood from a butcher's shop. It's harder to match DNA when it has multiple sources. Moreso, it takes a while for them to realize it's not from the body, which gives you time to get out of town.

Preparation:

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION!!!
Think ahead about exactly where you are going to dispose of the parts. Profilers look at the disposal sites, and know that the killer is probably familiar with the area, and probably near the center of the disposal sites. So, dispose of the parts, and make sure that they do NOT center around where you live.

Make sure the vic also lives in the area you are going to leave them, or the feds might figure out that you're not there.

Before you kill your target, figure out their routine. When do you have the best opportunity to kill them? When will you have the best chance of taking their body away for disposal without being seen? Where will you actually do the dismembering?

How to avoid getting your materials flagged:

Vics VapoRub apparently helps mask the smell, so I recommend getting some. Preferably a long, long time before committing the crime.

Get your bleach in normal amounts, with some delay in between each purchase, and stockpile it until you have everything else lined up.

Wear mechanics gloves, or two sets of the blue ones. Fingerprints can apparently be left through the blue ones, as theyre thin, and stick. I recommend wearing a disposable poncho, so as to avoid blood spatter.

Have a reason to be out of the city a long time beforehand. Make sure everyone knows. So if someone asks why Prowl is gone, they can say, 'Oh, she is on vacation. She's been planning it for a while.'

Do not bring your phone or any form of tech to the body disposal sites. "Hmm. Prowl was away from where she frequents, and parts of a body were found at several of those places where she lingered. Kinda sus, hmmm?"

Figure out how you are going to kill your target. Plan it out beforehand.

The name of the game is: PREPARATION!

Now, go forth and don't get caught, my pandas.

Ps. It's okay if you put your own flair on it, or take trophies. But, I recommend hiding those even better than the bodies, because it WILL tie you to the crime.

tie something heavy like rocks or something to the legs, arms or ankles and wrists. Than throw them into the water. They should stay under if you tied it correctly

Cut it up into small pieces and hide it across my neighbor’s property over the course of a like a week or so.

Just eat the freaking body. I mean you did have the guts to actually kill someone

Wear gloves while disposing the body. My guess is to cut the body up into pieces and flush it down the toilet, one piece at a time before anyone suspects anything. You don't want your fingerprints on the meat tho, so ig wash the knife really good. Poison anybody who is suspicious of you also.

why the heck are you asking...??

Put in a cemetery because looks there. Also if for some reason someone digs up the body, it would seem normal

I would chop off the head
then take out the insides
then run over the skin sack with a bulldozer
then fold it up and shoot it into space

Do what Hannibal Lecter did and feed the best bits to your guests at a dinner party. You can even boil the bones into a broth. I guess you can stick the inedible bits in the bin just before the bin- men arrive or give them to strays.