Hey Pandas, How Was Your Experience When You Had Your First Newborn? (Closed)

I found the whole experience embarrassing and violating of my personal space and privacy. From nurses walking in on me in the washroom that was in a large, shared room. To being berated for breathing and screaming in agony. I'll spare everyone the gory details, and, quite frankly, I've related my birthing story so many times and I don't want to relive it in my head anymore and I would like to salvage my dignity.

I had PPD, undiagnosed and ignored by everyone. I was a young mom, still living with my mom who had such little patience for night time wakings, and demanding I should follow what she learned from Dr. Spock books I wondered how she ever managed to take care of me. After what she revealed she did with me (leave me in my crib to cry, believing you can spoil a baby by picking them up whenever they cry) makes so much sense why we have such a disconnect and coldness towards each other.

It was a shock to me how much distrust I had to follow my instincts, and how much attention was veered away from me. Everything is private for the rest of the family. As a nursing mom, I was shut away in another room for a good half of family gatherings.

No one wanted to visit for long. Even though I was already an introvert with little friends at school who never hung out with me after school, being at home with a baby all day was painfully lonely.

I had imagined taking care of a baby would have been going on nice walks while singing lullabies and nursery rhymes. Rocking her in a bassinet. Basically, be like how it was in Lady and The Tramp when Jim dear and Darling had their baby. I thought people would at least oogle and smile at me and my daughter.

Instead I, and other parents with babies, got shouted and threatened by bus drivers, almost had my baby kidnapped by an impatient cab driver, and an old man yelling at me asking why my baby girl was "dressed like a boy" because she was wearing a black, white and red Minnie Mouse dress, and not pastels.

Because I was trying to finish school, I would try to do my schoolwork at home. I thought it would be easy-peasy to work on assignments while nursing. It wasn't easy at all. Not only was I still recovering, feeling weak and sore, I was the most tired and exhausted I had ever felt in my life, and under tremendous stress.

I did love reading time (yes, I read her books since she came home as it was suggested by early childhood educators), and I loved holding her, and dressing her up.

I wasn't a single mom but I didn't live with the dad until the next year. He rarely stayed the night to help out and his religious parents discouraged it. So, I was basically like a single mom. Come to think of it, we have a baby video and not one segment has her dad in it. Sad.

There's some things I miss of having a baby but not enough to want another one.

Me and my husband is having trouble when our son and daughter and son was born,we were glad we faced a few challenges but completed, we did not give up!!

Since I had from my very first period had really bad cramps and had had 2 miscarriages which was like labor, I believed I knew what to expect. Nope, I got back labor - it felt like a truck was sitting on my hips, lower back and upper thighs. Also, the labor pains were constant - no resting in between, because there was no in between. I was hooked up to a monitor that that ink line never dipped.

Feeling love for the first time. Real love.

20 hrs of contractions with 8 hrs of pitocin to get the labour going. We lost the baby's heartbeat 2 times. Emergency c-section.
The baby was healthy. I only got to hold her for 30 sec before I started bleeding heavily, I almost died that day.
I haven't slept in two days, had mayor abdominal surgery after wich they had to jump on my belly to get all the blood out. I barely could walk by myself to the bathtroom and I was stigmatized by nurses because could not sit up to breastfeed.
Everything post-operation left so much trauma that it took me almost 6 months to connect with my newborn baby.
Thank universe I had a great husband by my side to help during everything.

I broke my fibula in 2 at 38 weeks and had to be induced so I could have her before having surgery to fix my leg. Caring for a newborn while healing from a broken leg was super tough! I needed a lot of help. Only parts of my house could fit a wheelchair which I needed to use to carry her in my laundry while moving around. I had to use crutches everywhere else and someone else would need to carry my daughter. Add the sleep deprivation and extra doctor appointments for me on top of hers and I was beyond exhausted. My husband struggled too as the caregiver for me while also helping with the baby. Now I’m on my second baby. She’s 3 months and has a good aversion due to reflux so she barely eats. She needs most of her food through a nasal feeding tube. Her feedings are twice as long and must happen every 3 hours including at night. It’s working now and she finally growing normally so it could be worse.

I felt lost, afraid, clueless, depressed and exhausted, like I was in waaaaaay over my head. It was a rough few months.

1976. Doctor induced me unnecessarily because he was going out of town. Natural childbirth. Had bad tear. Got no instructions how to care for it, got sick. Had postpartum depression. Nurse just threw a box of Kleenex at me with no explanation or empathy. MIL came to help, pretty much ignored me. Breasts got horribly engorged and sore. Did have 2 more natural childbirths, totally different experiences. Worth it all for 3 great kids.

I'm not a parent I'm a kid

You don't necessarily feel an instant rush of joy and love. You don't HAVE to feel an instant rush of joy and love. there can be so much going on during the birth, especially if you end up needing a highly medicalised birthing experience, you can just feel numb and exhausted. And that's fine too. You can feel joyful, you can feel overwhelmed, you can feel shocked, you can feel all of these things in rotation or all together at the same time. All feelings are fine.

My daughter was taken away to the NICU fairly soon after a surprise cesarean, so I wasn't ready to feel anything. I actually hung up all her little baby clothes around my hospital bed to remind me it wasn't a weird dream I had that there was a baby. The first few days were very functional, I did all the things I needed to do, but we didn't have the closeness because she was in her little bubble in the incubator and I was expressing milk for tube feeds. The ward thought that the NICU how to giving me the new parent induction thing about where they kept everything and the NICU thought the ward had done it, so I had no idea what to do. The were weeks and weeks of just taking her back to hospital for tests, it wasn't until all of that cleared up and we started to plan proper family outings that I gradually began to feel a real connection with this gorgeous little thing. Don't hate on yourself if the birth doesn't look like a movie. A total stranger just fell into your life, probably in an unfamiliar environment - it can take time.

My first pregnancy/birth were so text book it was almost ridiculous. At 41 weeks my water broke, contractions started about an hour later. I was at my mom's house, my husband didn't want to leave me alone so dropped me off before he left for his swing shift at work. I called him when I had the first contraction - he broke land speed records driving to my mom's house - usually took 1.5 hours but he arrived in just under an hour. I was doing great but both my mom and husband were a wreck. My mom finally grabbed her purse and said go get in the car, I swear you turned green with that contraction, you are going to the hospital. We arrived and I was checked into a lovely birthing suite around 22:00. After a total 10 hours of labor I was dilated to 10 and pushed for less than 15 mins. We welcomed a beautiful baby boy at 3:40. He didn't have the usual pointed head or blue color, he really was beautiful. After all of the congratulations my husband went home to sleep. I was wide awake and spent the time adoring my new bundle of joy. Friends and family started arriving in the morning to visit. Me, being a huge Seahawks fan was not going to miss the game at 13:00 that day, it was a Sunday. The Seahawks played the Minnestoa Vikings so my son and I enjoyed our first Hawks game before he was even 12 hours old. It was a great game which Seahawks won 28-17. He is now 34 years old - not sure where the time went! I had 3 more sons after this experience, none of those pregnancies/births went as smoothly. My last baby was 8 weeks premature, that was an experience!

Not me but a friend was taken by surprise when her contractions started in the middle of the night. She rang for an ambulance but was told there could be a wait. She couldn't wait so her husband called for a taxi so he could sit in the back with her. The taxi driver had the radio on playing the "Oldies" with my friend in increasing pain and what song came on the radio at that point? "Whose Sorry Now" by Connie Francis. Everybody just burst out laughing. They had a little girl and no, they didn't call her Connie or Frances.

Being, ahem, a geriatric pregnancy, I was monitored every other day the last weeks of my ivf baby. I did not want to let her go, so on the eve of my 42nd week I was induced.... 3 days later and a lot of stuff in-between she was forcibly removed through an artificial opening, which was then summarily closed.
I was high, tired, hilariously loopy. When my husband says to me, "which breast gives the strawberry milk and which one gives the chocolate?" I asked the lactation coach🤦‍♀️🤣

Being, ahem, a geriatric pregnancy, I was monitored every other day the last weeks of my ivf baby. I did not want to let her go, so on the eve of my 42nd week I was induced.... 3 days later and a lot of stuff in-between she was forcibly removed through an artificial opening, which was then summarily closed.
I was high, tired, hilariously loopy. When my husband says to me, "which breast gives the strawberry milk and which one gives the chocolate?" I asked the lactation coach🤦‍♀️🤣

Okay look here i'm a small average 9 year old and lots more people on here are kids so basically, I CAN'T HAVE KIDS!

I woke up at 4am having contractions lasting 90sec and 90 sec apart. We didn't have a home phone (1981) so bundled into car and husband drove to nearest public phone booth to ring hospital to say we were on our way. They told him we to stay home as they didn't have a bed in the delivery suite!! He replied we were coming anyway! When we got there I had to wait on a chair till there was a bed available. They did however take really good care of me/us. 4 hours after 1st contraction our baby girl arrived. They had found me a room well before this. When I got down to my room I was exhausted from the labour and the drugs for pain so I went to sleep leaving Hubby with nothing to do but go to work!!

It was traumatic and wonderfull at the same time. When I found out that I was pregnant I just came out of an abusive relationship. I knew I was going to do it alone but I never doubted about having my son. I loved him from the moment I knew he was there. The pregnancy was the most beautiful time of my life. I felt great (minus the normal pregnacy complications like pissing your pants when sneezing and stuff), but I was so afraid to lose my son. I had lost everything in my life and I knew I couldn't live trough it if I lost my child. So the moment came I got in labor. I was happy I went trough the pregnancy and I tought yes!! we are going to do this, boy was I wrong. The labor was painfull, scaring and traumatic. After almost 24 hours of labor and going trough it until the end, I needed an emerency c-section. My son wasn't doing well and he had to get out. You don't have time to realize whats happining and it is really scaring. I was also exhausted. My son sufferd from lack of oxygen and they had to take him away. I didn't know what was happening or how my son was doing. At one time I knew they had pulled him out and I was waiting to hear him or that they would hand him to me. but that didn't happen. My mom was asked to come with them and came back crying with picuters of my son getting oxygen and just laying there like a puppet. I tought he was dead. That' how I first saw my son. I remember keep losing my consciousness, asking for my son and I couldn't quit shaking. I tought my worst fear was coming true. I tought I lost him. After a few hours I finally met him for the first time. He was already cleaned, wires everywhere and he was getting oxygen and morfine to keep him sleeping. After 3 days I could hold him for the first time. The first period was hectic. You switch from being happy that you have a son and getting congrulations from other people, to having heal yourself, trying to coop with it all, being there for your son, leaving it in the hands of the nurses (which is very hard), not knowing what will happen and being scared for his life. I tried to get my milk production starting. I tought that's the least I could do for him right know. The baby IC is also a very sad place. Al those babys who are fighting fot their lifes and their parents who are just as scared as you. The nurses there are real heros. When he finally came home it was also pretty scary. I didn't get any maternity care because my son had been in the hospital the whole maternity period. So I was on my own and to do things I should be doing 1,5 week after a c-section. But I loved this period. We mostly spend it on the couch together just trying to work on our bonding. I loved breastfeeding. It was our time. He is now a very healty five year old and I think al of this made our bond unbreakable. It is hard sometimes because I do it alone and he has adhd (maybe from his birth we don't know and don't care) but I love him so much.