Hey Pandas, How Did You Get Depression? (Closed)

My depression is believed to be genetic (according to some Dr’s and therapists). My family has a history of mental health issues. I have been seeing therapists on and off for about 20 years, and have taken anti depressants on and off for about 16-17 years. Still trying to find ways of managing my depression albeit without success.

I can't really tell my parents about my depression because they think a kid my age (12) should not have depression because we have to much to be happy for my depression was caused when i first moved to a new school i was bullied within the first week getting slapped in the face on a daily basis which led me to almost cry everyday which i still do because of depression so yeah.

Extreme social pressure, anxiety, and a deeply rooted fear of disappointing authority.

My depression I believe started when I was 7. At a young age, I went through a lot. Moving place to place, bullies, my mom left me for drugs, man I could go on... But I won't. I'd say it started first when I realized my mom wasn't gonna be in my life. It was the first time I felt heartbroken you could say. It was also the worst day of my life. Then on top of that, I got bullied a lot, major depression because of that. I went to multiple therapists. Damn, I could literally go on but then we'd be here all damn day. So long story short I got depression because my mom left me. I DO see her now. If anyone has a way I can tell her that she hurt me, pls tell me. I've been trying to tell her but I just cant find the right words.

I'm not sure if I have depression quite yet, but I might be spiraling down into it, which scares me. Probably caused by my -999999 Social Esteem, the fact that I'm a failure in the eyes of my parents and teachers, etc. etc. aNyWaYs, on a lighter note, I'm not quite there yet. YET.

My and my classmates were playing a game called Babagonoosh and apparently I “bodychecked” someone and the hit there head of the snow. There was less then a centimetre of snow. He told everybody he got a concussion and they all believed him. What really happens was that the cool kid bodychecked somebody else on purpose and they tried to get back at him but they bodychecked that idiot who got a concussion. So now i am left dealing with that bullsh*t

I inherited it, but it first showed when my best friend moved to a different country. that was four years ago.

Childhood sexual abuse, abandonment, neglect, and the breakdown of safe adult relationships have contributed to 30+ years of mental health difficulties. I don't remember a time before the darkness. For the sake of my child I'm trying to move away from the hurt and harm caused to me so I don't reflect it onto him.