Hey Pandas, How Did You Find Out You Were LGBTQ+?

I randomly came across an online article about the founder of AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) in my early twenties. I had never heard of Asexuality before that. I live in a post-socialist European country, so as a 00's kid, I mostly learned about LGBT stuff from American TV shows (The ER was truly ahead of its time). In my country, most people were barely tolerating "the gays", and this sort of stuff was not talked about in polite society, so I had no idea there were other options than straight, gay or Bi I never had crushes as a kid, so with the information (or lack thereof) I had, I just thought I was a really late bloomer and possibly Bi. Cause everyone kept telling me I would meet the right guy eventually. After I read that first article and looked up AVEN, my first thought was - "huh, it's a thing." It took a bit longer to realize that I am actually AroAce - I have no interest in having a physical or romantic relationship with anyone, that is how I always was and will be, and I am perfectly fine with that.

I became aware of the whole LGBTQ+ thing thanks to a gay friend of mine. I spent three years thinking I was pan, till I got into a relationship with a man and found out I was lesbian... it wasn't very fun breaking up with said man, but at least we now remain as close friends :)
Happy pride, btw
🧡🧡🤍🩷🩷

Wikihow's "Am I gay quiz"

Also I don't know if femboys are considered part of the lgbtq+, but I wore a skirt as a prank and ended up discovering something about myself.

Peggy Carter from marvel was my bisexual awakening. PEGGY CARTER IS SO HOT I LOVE HER

I always knew I didn't like people that way. but only herd the term more recently on BP I think it was that comic with the chameleons? ( I'm aroace) happy pride! 🧡💛🤍💙🩵 🏳️‍🌈

When I was eleven and started senior school we had to change for sport. I was quite shy and some of the other boys picked up on this, So they would rip my towel away and I was always so scared that I would have an erection. Just being in a room with lots of naked lads almost blew my mind before I even understood what it meant.

Checked out "This Book is Gay" by Juno Dawson at my local library because some new colleagues identify as non-binary and I wanted to learn more without asking obnoxious questions. Stumbled across the chapter on asexuality and so many bells started ringing I'm surprised I didn't turn into a tower. I always thought I was just weird.

as a kid, i was shielded from lgbt for awhile until my grandpa got me a book called "just like jackie" when i was about 9 or 10, and one of the people in there was a guy with a husband. i asked my mom why there was two guys married to each other and she explained about gay and stuff and told me that it was wrong and against out religion. but i was still curious and i continued to look into it. when i can across the term transgender, i thought to myself "why would a guy want to be a girl? being a girl sucks! i wish i were born a dude!" and realized that what i was thinking was probably not normal, but i chose to ignore it. flash forward to my freshman year of high school and i was looking into a spec identities and i came across the terms "demiromantic and demisexual" and it explained SO much, and it just felt right. at the time i had still felt like being a boy would be better, but refused to belive i was trans since it was "going against god" in my mom's words. but in the summer of 2023, i found out about the term demiboy, and it just felt right. but i wasn't sure if it was me, but i experimented with male pronouns like he/him and i liked it. they/them also felt right, but i tried it/its for fun and i loved it so i had my pronouns as she/he/they/it. then one day(july 25 2023) i tried no she/her, and, oh my gosh! it felt better. like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. i loved it. it was then i knew i was demiboy. but i didn't tell anyone till new years when i let it slip to my best friend that i'm a dude. he accepted me and is still my biggest supporter and best friend. come back to now, end of my sophmore year, and i now know that i'm demiromantic, demisexual, transmasc, demiboy, (might be)gay, and frayplatonic. it was a wild journey discovering who i truly was, and i still got a long way to go to fully transition into a dude(or at least look more like a dude since i would prefer a social transition then a medical transition), and even longer for my mom to accept that i'm not a girl anymore, but i'm happier now with how i am, and i'm very excited to see what the future holds. thank you for coming to my TED talk, i swear i did not mean for this to be so long lol.

it was a lot of things, but I'll tell you the most interesting. First were the dreams. I would very often have dreams that I fell in love with girls, whether they were fictional or people I knew in real life. I also had multiple dreams that were very thinly veiled metaphors for me being secretive about my sexuality. I tried very, very hard to convince myself that these dreams meant nothing (they clearly didn't). One of the other more interesting signs was that in middle school, the other girls from church and I would often have fake marriages with each other, pretend that we were wives and dating or whatever. It took me a little while to realize that to the rest of my friends, this was just a game, but in my confused little gay mind, I was taking these fake relationships very seriously. I thought of my "wife" much like I'd think of an actual partner, and I would get extremely jealous any time she flirted with anyone else. I would get over the moon happy any time she flirted with me, and I would work hard to please her. Looking back, I absolutely had a crush on her 💀

I grew up in a very small village, I never knew any gay people and wasn't really aware of it as a thing.
When I was a teenager, and going through puberty, a new family moved into the village, twin girl and boy, I started 'dating' the girl and became good friends with the boy.
I had feelings towards the boy but didn't act on them.
Life went on and I continued to date girls, eventually getting married and having a child, but there was always something niggling in the back of mind, I found men attractive but ignored it.
Eventually I opened up to my then wife, letting her know how I felt, and to her credit she tried to help me understand it. However, it got to a point where it finally sunk in that I was indeed gay, our marriage came to an end and after, rather awkwardly, getting myself into the gay dating scene, I ended up with a guy.

I mentioned the first part, about the twin girl/boy, because when I look back on my friendship with the boy, there were a number of occasions where it was clear he had feelings for me. A trip down a river in a dinghy where his feet accidentally brushed against my p*nis a few times, I taught him how to play poker and he asked me if I wanted to play strip poker, which I denied at the time through fear of getting caught .. these are just two examples that come to mind, but there were plenty of others. I do regret not acting on the feelings.

Thought I was ace. I was actually just disgusted by sex as a guy. I’m actually quite attracted by everyone, just specifically as a girl. The more you know!

There was not exactly a moment. I just slowly realize that I was pansexual and not just straight. The confirmation was when my then partner told me that he was a transguy. It didn't change in anyway how I saw him, my love for him was just stronger as he trusted me enough to come out to me (I was the first one he ever came out to). I was by his side, supporting him at the earliest stage of his transition, and projecting myself still with him while he was going through it. How far he wanted to go didn't have any importance for me. I loved him. I still do :)

When both the male and female leads are attractive... My parents used to be kinda homophobic, but they're much better now :D I still struggle with parts of my bi identity tho. My brain is still in the either/or mindset, I'm either faking it and I'm homosexual, or I'm faking it and I'm straight.

I had no idea something was different at first - sure, I'd often look at boys instead of girls (as was generally expected from boys in their early teens), but it never crossed my mind that it meant something. But then, one day, a friend of mine and I were fooling around and, since we were all alone, got a bit too curious, if you know what I mean... For him, the whole experience was just a strange experiment he'd never repeat (or think about) again. For me, it was like something clicked and I finally started to understand what was different about me. Long story short: today I identify as bi.

So, I was in my 30s. And I had *heard* of bisexual, but as far as I was aware it was an incredibly rare thing, so didn't really give it serious thought. I know I *did* wonder several times if I might be gay, but (as a girl) I knew that I really, really liked guys even before I'd ever made out with one. Found a great guy, got married, still *definitely* liked guys. But every so often I'd get a "weird" (my word, because I couldn't explain it) sort of "crush" on a girl on TV. It didn't seem sexual, or maybe a little but it certainly wasn't anything like how I liked guys. I just figured I was "mostly" straight. I knew about the Kinsey scale. Anyway, finally one time one of those crushes was so intense that I was googling whether it was possible to be attracted to women but not to naked photos of women. And it turns out absolutely yes, lots of people of whatever sexuality aren't turned on by photos. And also a LOT of bisexuals find that it's one way with one gender and a different way with others. (It's one possible distinction between bi and pan as well.. pan means the gender has no impact on the attraction but many for bisexuals DOES impact it, just in a hard-to-describe way. And after I finally understood that, I realized it really had always been there and it actually was sexual even, just not visual. I called myself bicurious for a while before accepting that sometimes, you really don't need to have ever had something to know that you want it.

I would say it is not something that you 'find out'.
It is something you realize, then come to terms with under the pressures of family and friends.
Since I was a small child, I realized that there was difference between myself, and my brother, but as small children you do not pay heed to it at all.
As you hit puberty you realize your arousals are not the same as y our brothers or school friends. There is a lot of self-doubt that you process, then comes the being withdrawn from everyone, as you do not know how to tell people.
The late 90's is not like it is now!
After high school it does become easier, as you are able to move out your parent's place, and you are able to free yourself, and let yourself be.
Being 'out' for 20 years does not make it easier or any less terryfying sometimes in certain situations.
The angst and sometimes the stress of an unknown situations does not make being Gay easier.
Time have changed, but some people's views and opinions have not changed.
It does get better, but not always easier. just be true to yourself is my best advice to anyone that is LGBTQ+

...am I Non-binary quiz...

I am aromantic (feeling little to no romantic attraction, in my case no attraction at all).
It took me 17 years to understand that, I dated several people and always thought I was attracted to all genders and that I was pansexual.
Then I started to notice that I never asked people to date, but just accepted the propositions even if I wasn't feeling anything towards the person but friendship, I figured love would come (spoiler, it never came). During the last relationship I had I also noticed that I was mimicking what I was seeing in TV or reading in my romantic novels. I was forcing myself to hold hands, kiss, say "I love you", text the person... It all feel like chores.
I ended up breaking up, as I always did (all my relationships lasted at least 3 months and the longest 2 years). Then the first thing I thought after the breakup was "Well, who's gonna teach me Rubik's Cube ?" and I immediately knew it wasn't a normal thought to have. I went to talk to one of my friend who was aromantic and asked her to explain it to me, and it all clicked.
It explained why my whole life I had felt uneasy seeing people kiss or say "I love you", why I viewed relationships like a chore, why I would say "I love you" so quickly in a relationship and wouldn't understand when people said to me that it were important words...
So yeah, I'm aromantic (but not asexual, aro people are not always ace and the reverse is also true).

Actually from Hazbin Hotel. I watched a bunch of fan theories of Alastor being aroace (he’s canon ace) and I was like “oh! That’s me!” I also kinda knew because lots of kids in my class were talking about their crushes/fake boyfriends and I just didn’t get it. So yeah :)

Not about my personnal life but watching the original Queer and Folks british tv show was really really a mind opener for me. First time i saw stories about gay people that were not stereotyped.
I was 15 years old and it changed all my thoughts about gay people.