i need new roasts for people.
#1
I’ve met some pricks in my time, but you my friend are a f*****g cactus
10points
#2
"If laughter is the best medicine, you're face is curing the world"
6points
#3
An Aussie said, “Take away your snow capped mountains, culture, and good food, and what would New Zealand be?”
The kiwi answered, “Australia”.
The kiwi answered, “Australia”.
6points
#4
"You're so stupid that you could climb a tree once and fall twice."
5points
#5
You are the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo!
4points
#6
How many Aussies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to hold the bulb and two to turn the ladder.
Three. One to hold the bulb and two to turn the ladder.
3points
#7
Them: you are so ugly
Me: TY ,I TRIED MY BEST TO LOOK LIKE YOU
Me: TY ,I TRIED MY BEST TO LOOK LIKE YOU
3points
#8
If I wanted to kill myself I would jump from your ego to your IQ.
3points
#9
I’d rather eat s**t than vote for trump
2points
#10
A British man is visiting Australia. The customs agent asks him, “Do you have a criminal record?” The British man replies, “I didn’t think you needed one to get into Australia anymore.”
2points
#11
Why is Australia such a dry country?
We don’t have a king or queen to reign on it.
We don’t have a king or queen to reign on it.
2points
#12
Hey! Can someone put a lid on this trash can already?
2points
#13
Them: *rolls eyes*
Me: keep rolling those eyes you might find a brain back there.
Me: keep rolling those eyes you might find a brain back there.
2points
#14
Spiders wouldn’t bite you
1point
#15
Even Trump would f**k you
1point
#16
He has a face like a dropped pie
1point
#17
When someone says I look familiar, I say ‘I do porn’
1point
#18
You’re a few pancakes short of an already short stack
1point
#19
My fish have more common sense than Americans
0points
#20
You have a face like a smacked bum
0points