Hey Pandas, Do You Need To Rant? (Closed)

i am about to f*cking scream. my parents act like i'm SO disrespectful to them and i may very well be but it's cause they don't treat me with respect half the time. the other half of the time i'm this daughter who they expect everything of even when i'm sick. and they pay attention to everything about me that i hate. i've told my dad i don't like being touched unless i initiate it, but he still touches my shoulder or my hand and i pull away and he acts all offended. and then he tells me my hair or my makeup looks good and i don't like being talked about in the way i look, cause yk, i hate myself. then my parents make me feel so guilty.

I don't really have a family, my friends were my family. Since I am an introvert I just have few close friends. Unfortunately in last few years they have got busy with their lives (married, boyfriend, new friends). It's not that we don't keep in touch but it's not like it was before. I thought let's try to make new friends but who who wants to be a friend with a quiet introvert right... With my friends l never felt I was an boring introvert(normal/happy days). I feel it's my fault that my friends are drifting away. Now I am feeling the effects- anxiety attacks, depression, self loathing & social anxiety. I spoke to my friends about it but they can only help as much as they can & I don't want to burden them with my problems any more. Just not able to figure out how to fix myself or find a solution

I have a -1 Bored Panda score and I have no idea why. I've never posted anything and just add to the likes. Why, Bored Panda, why??

Sometimes I feel like there are so many things wrong with me but I don't know what's wrong and I don't know why I feel like that. I try to suppress those feelings because I'm probably just seeking attention and I hate myself for it.

long story short i had a horrible day today. one of my “friends” is trying to control my life, i hate myself and i feel like dying, i haven’t drank any water in the past few days, my parents think they know me when they don’t, my coach is horrible and has caused multiple anxiety attacks from me on the court, and i just can’t take it anymore. i was sitting outside my sixth period for almost an hour today just crying. it’s getting to be too much.

I can’t shut the door to my bedroom or even *lock* the bathroom door! I hate my parents sometimes.

My mum thinks that everything a kid does HAS to be educational, make them exercise, shape their future, etc. She just thinks that children don't have a life until they turn 18 and they have to prepare for their future in their childhood. Can't enjoy a single thing. She tells me to never read a book twice. Why? Because I won't find any new words or learn something new. She tells me to play a game which involves running rather than something like hide and seek. Why? Because running would make me fit. She tells me to not watch useless movies unless they're educational. Why? Because movies are a waste of time. She says that a person can enjoy their life once they're middle aged. It's annoying, really. I convinced her to let me read/watch Harry Potter, Marvel, DC and anime and manga only by convincing her that watching these would improve my knowledge of different countries. So basically, never do something unless it would help in your future

I’m just ready to f*cking jump off a cliff at this point, the toxicity and negativity piled on top of my mental illnesses is getting to be a bit much.

Over the past week, my mental health has been dropping again. Yesterday I had an anxiety attack and was dead sure that I was about to die for around 30 minutes- I actually opened a Google document and wrote what I wanted to be my last words. I think I'm feeling a bit better now but I know I'm not at 100%, and I'm worried that things are going to keep going downhill. I've been thinking a lot about my own existence and im torn between thinking that I could change the world and knowing that I'm no one in the end. I'm the classic 'other people' in others lives- I'm not memorable, I'm basically a living stereotype, and altogether I'm just a background piece of others' lives. Nothing about me is unique or noticeable and I'm more an amalgamation of the side characters in other people's stories than a person in my own right. It's not something that should worry me- someone has to be no one, but I wish it wasn't me. Even my dreams are mundane and regular. In the grand scheme of things, my life will mean nothing to anyone, including myself.
I realize this is probably too long but you did ask for me to rant

This is something I haven't talked about before but it sits with me and comes back at night. I had my first anxiety or panic attack (I haven't quite figured out the difference so if someone could explain it in more detail that'd be wonderful), at my boyfriend's house. I was absolutely freaking out and it felt like the whole room was closing in and that I was going to die by being crushed by it. He didn't understand. I told my mom about it later that night. She sorta looked at me weird and said "are you sure? ' in a condescending tone. It really upset me and I can't tell her that. Fast forward to now, I'm getting treatment for anxiety and depression. Both of these are a huge weight on my shoulders that my mom also seems to not understand. It's frustrating!

School. Home. Everywhere. I swear to GOD- At school I can see my friends, but they’re always talking about being pulling commit a no life and SH, and I don’t want them to do that, but there’s nothing I can ever do. My friend is being bullied, but I know the school won’t do anything about it, and I’m too f*****g scared to stand up for her myself, so I dunno. It’s always been like this, I’ve always been more on the distant side, not really understanding people, and peoples emotions, and not able to help with them either. So I joke! And I can’t really do anything else LOL- Anyway, at home, I got a homophobic family, a b***h sister I am burdened to share a room with, and nowhere to go. We live in a stupid world, I can’t even take a walk around the block without the fear of being raped, or kidnapped, or sold, etc. This whole world is a scam. Ever since the day you could talk, you’re put inside a glorified prison, to learn 92% useless knowledge, it only growing more harder, more intense, as you go. And the friends you’ve made, grow astray, different, and disloyal, turning on you, and leaving. Breaking your trust. Then you grow up and get a job, even more stressful than school- LIKE BRO- You spend your whole life working just to spend the last few years barely enjoying it >:(

I don't care what drivers think. Here, in Canada, pedestrians do have RIGHT OF WAY at all marked AND UNMARKED crosswalks, and all drivers MUST yield to pedestrians who obviously are waiting to be able to cross. It's in the driver's handbook. It's in the highway act laws. You can google it! So THERE Ms.donut-mouthed-head-shaking-road-raging-cranky-pants-lady in the silver car today, who was just angry she had to wait to turn into the Safeway parking lot when the coast was clear of cars passing from the other side of the road, like me and the truck beside me had to. Waaa waaa. She has to wait.
Okay rant over.

I twisted my ankle yesterday and it feels like just another distortion. It's like the 7th time in my life this happened and the timing sucks a big one. I have a 5-month-old active rough collie puppy at home, had to take three weeks of sick days last year (CoVid and severe allergic reaction to an antibiotic) and my husband works overtime currently. To make this even more complicated, I have an upcoming tooth-surgery (the tooth has been hurting for weeks not) which probably has to be postponed due to the blood thinner I have to inject now. ...which I cannot just not take due to a high risk of thrombosis I inherited from my parents.

I'm just mad at myself, even though it was an accident that could've happened to anyone (sleek ground, I slipped and twisted my ankle). Additionally my husband keeps teasing me because it happened *again* (3rd time in the last 5 years). I know, he doesn't want to be mean, but it just sucks. As if I enjoy walking on crutches and not being able to walk properly for at least a month ...

If I hear "f*g" one more time, im gonna lose it, the word "F****t" in the English dictionary is and I quote: "A gay man" one, I am not a man, two, SO WHAT IF IM GAY, I DONT GIVE A S**T THAT YOUR STRAIGHT, SO WHY CALL ME SOMETHINGS FOR BEING GAY. also the fact that if I answer my parents when they say something its considered AN ATTITUDE.

I’m not allowed to have a door for my room and I’m not allowed to close the door to the bathroom because my mom thinks I’m cutting myself; which I’m not! I hate how my mom assumes things about me and doesn’t listen to me instead. My mom is literally the reason for my many issues including starving myself. I’m trying to work on moving out to live with my dad instead but the process is taking so friggen long!

You’ve read my mind as I was just think “I need to rant about this.”
I’m a goalkeeper on my soccer team and part of my job is to talk, but no one listens to me when I do talk and they tell me things like “we already have two coaches we don’t need another.” (This was after I told her where I wanted her on a corner against us.) But if I don’t talk they say “you’re the goalkeeper, you need to talk.” Not to mention the coaches are no help, I volunteered to play goal this year so we wouldn’t have to train a keeper from scratch, but I enjoy me field position, we now have another ‘08 keeper and one of the ‘09 players we just moved up plays keeper too. My coaches keep telling me, “oh you’ll be able to play field in the game,” but we all know they aren’t going to put me on the field if I don’t practice field and they don’t let me practice on the field. I LOVE my field position and I enjoy goal as well, but I’m starting to regret volunteering to play goalkeeper.
Thank you for listening to my rant random people of the internet.

I have an eating disorder that is slowly becoming worse, and it’s getting to the point where I feel like I’m going to pass out, and how it started was when someone said I looked like I lost weight, and that comment has made me hate my body, I’m convinced that my eating disorder will kill me.

I feel like I'm drowning honestly!! I have a hard time with my home life due to my parents divorce, and my relationship with my mother is especially difficult. NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY NOTHING WORKS. I feel like I'm seen as incompetent, and selfish. I'm trying and I cant anymore, and because of that I look like a jerk. I have a breaking point too and I dont feel like anyone understands that! I just need this to end, it hurts so much

I feel like my trauma is resurfacing and I absolutely hate it!

My mom thinks that my mental health issues is just because I’m a teenager and teenagers are moody, but she doesn’t know how bad it really is, and how much I want to unalive myself.