Petitions to:
Make the word "scrimpled" an adjective meaning the grooved effect on butter when spread onto bread by a serrated edge knife
Ban all negative miserable soap operas like Eastenders.
Make illegal the religious education of children until after age 8 to put an end to indoctrination.
Make Bored Panda a regular TV show.
Make the date of the first moon landing an international day of celebration.