I'm struggling, I'm not motivated in school or the the sports and hobbies I used to love. I sleep all the time and barley eat. I don't think therapy is working and I feel like nobody understands. I too tired and sad to move sometimes. I just can't give a shit anymore. Please, I need advice on what to do.
#1
The first and most important thing to do is to recognize that you are an important and wonderful person and that there is nothing wrong with the way you are. It's okay to be not okay, and there are lots of people who want to help you. Myself, random internet stranger, included.
I've been dealing with treatment-resistant depression since I was 13, and I'm 36 now. I'm not a doctor, but I've tried just about every depression treatment out there. Lots of very smart people in lab coats are still trying to figure out the way the brain works, and they are discovering new things all the time. Research is your friend.
I recommend first that you see a doctor and have some tests done if possible. Body chemistry affects the brain hugely. If you have an imbalance of vitamin D or B, deficiency in iron, lack of protein, dehydration, liver or intestines acting up, etc., etc., etc., ... any of these can cause or contribute to your current predicament.
At the same time, ask to be tested for depression if you haven't already. Other possibilities are Seasonal Affective Disorder, bipolar disorder, variations of ADHD, and whatever other tests the doctor recommends. There is also a DNA test your doctor can order that will predict which medications will and won't work for you. If you need to take any medications, this test can save you so much headache trying every pill on the market to find one that fits.
There are also some really interesting non-medication therapies being developed. Read up on transcranial magnetic stimulation, electroshock therapy, vagus nerve blockage, ketamine infusions, and EMDR. Talk to your doctor or your therapist (or both) about whether any of these treatments might be available where you are and be worth trying.
Does your school have any sort of guidance counsellor, nurse, vocational coach, head teacher, or anyone else in a position to understand what you're going through? Even a sympathetic teacher? Such a person might be able to smooth things over with other teachers, possibly put you in touch with resources in your community. They could also keep an eye on you in case things get bad enough that you're thinking of giving up. I've no idea what the rules are where you live, but you might want to look into the possibility of taking a term off from school or reducing your current class load. Unfortunately, lack of motivation in school now can haunt you far into the future. I found that out the hard way.
You are a unique, singular, wonderful human being. That's awesome, but it also means that what makes other people feel better may do nothing for you.
Something that is pretty much guaranteed to make you feel better for a little while is to drink a glass of water, put on a good dancing song, and dance like a fool for five or ten minutes. It won't solve anything, but it'll give you a quick endorphin boost!
Remember that there are lots of people who care about you and want to help you feel better, including this random stranger on the internet!
~harpling
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