TW: Self-harm
Hello everybody! I just came here to complain and get genuine responses from others. (Please don't go into the comments to troll, by the way. It's rude)
So, recently, my stepmom/Dad's GF (They're not married) and I have been arguing a lot, it is not physical anymore, so it's really not that bad. But she's been getting on to me over simple things and then going on to question me about things that have nothing to do with it. I feel like she's interrogating me every day.
I've been in and out of mental hospitals since 2023 for self-harm and suicidal ideation. The self-harming was a result of living in my (current) situation. I used to be physically abused by her. My dad did nothing. My mom (who does not have custody over me for drug-related issues) was the only one who seemed to care about me, but she lives in Texas. I live very, very far from Texas. She was unable to get custody of me. So I was stuck. CPS wouldn't do anything about it because when I finally reported it I was told it was "too late" to do anything (Apparently the CPS branch in my state has some kind of 6-month rule or something) Because by then I had started fighting back and leaving marks on her, so therefor, if she got in trouble, I'd be going down with her. Or something. That's what she'd tell me whenever I'd threaten to call the cops on her.
(Also I'm sorry if this info isn't up-to-date, I never really researched CPS because I'd probably get in trouble)
Every time she'd leave a mark on me, she'd pretend she didn't leave one, whenever-during one of our physical altercations-I'd leave a mark on her (Yes, I'm not innocent either, but come on, if a full-grown-ass-adult tried hitting you for something stupid, would you sit there and be fine with it?) She'd document it on her phone. :(
These days I don't want to go home, my only option is to run away (Which would have extreme consequences). CPS won't do anything, I'm miserable, and nobody will take me in except my mother, who is not allowed to. We've tried family therapy, it won't work for us, I'm told "I'M" ALWAYS the issue, that I need to change. They have strict rules. I can't see friends, I can't have any internet access (Except when I sneak on) can't watch TV, and taking my "coping skills" is a punishment. I still have a year and two months of this hellhole, and honestly, I'd rather die than spend any longer there. I know I sound like a spoiled brat! I'm sorry! Or like I'm faking this for "attention" or something. No, I'm just trying to vent, and it is OK to not believe any of this. (Sorry I'm just anxious :P) OMG now I sound like a main character. :(((((
I'm sorry for taking your time, I have more to say but honestly, I'll just respond to any questions in the comments. If anyone even reads this. :P
Have a good day/night everyone.
It made me upload a picture so here you go!
