Hey Pandas, AITA For Wanting To Put Myself First? (Closed)

The golden rule is if they give you a 'it's me or that' ultimatum, you choose 'that'. You won't get another opportunity like this, but you can get a better dude who isn't going to try and stifle your progress and success.

Chose the scholarship. If the boyfriend is putting you in this position, I bet there is another...or several...similar choices down the road. In one of them, you won't choose him and he will move on, and you'll have missed this opportunity.

NTA - If your boyfriend cannot support your dreams and goals for the betterment of your own future, then he is just trying to control you and own you. If you're ready to forever live your life according to someone else's wishes and demands and never be your own person, then stay with him. Otherwise, if you want to be your own person, if you have dreams and goals that are important to you, then he will always be in your way. My advice is to leave him and find someone who will support you and your dreams. You are correct, you are only 22 years old - there is plenty of time to find someone who will love you and support you. This guy isn't that someone. Good luck with everything!

PS: In my experience, anyone who tells you to choose between them and something/someone else is a controlling, abusive person and you should immediately choose the other thing/person.

Choose your career! There are 4 Billion men outthere... Some of them are way better than this one. He doesn't care for you or your wishes. He is also not very sensible: better education can bring better salary in the future. Why not to do it?
Just go! And gratulations on your schoolarship!

Pick the scholarship. He refuses to compromise (no Skype or Zoom, no visiting, no waiting), so he sounds ready to give up on the relationship. If you don't go, he could still break up with you over something else. At 24, he may not have the maturity for a long relationship. At 22, you're far too young to give up on a great opportunity that may not happen again.

NTA, you putting your education before your SO is wasy more important than them

Nta. Take the scholarship, leave the boyfriend. Seriously he sounds kinda controlling from the post.

Even if he were absolutely wonderful and perfect as a person, you already know which path your life is going to take. If he's not going to help you down that path, then he's not the one to take such an intimate role in your life.

This is YOUR story. Believe in it, and appreciate those people who believe in you for it.

NTA. Is it wrong to have a dream? No. You need a good education to get a good job to make money. If your boyfriend doesn't support your chance then just leave. He has no right to tell you what to do. You get an opportunity, a true partner would be happy for you and support you unconditionally. It seems like he is putting HIMSELF first if anything. But that's just my opinion.

NTA you have a great opportunity and you should take it. Your boyfriend should be happy for you that you got the scholarship you wanted. You should explain to him that you can get a really good job with your masters degree and that it could build a supportive family. If he doesn’t support your choices then i suggest you just do it. -your friendly neighborhood triangle

NTA. Never compromise your dreams for someone else. And no one who genuinely loved you would ask you to, much less demand it.

I wish you SO much luck, happiness and success!

NTA- it’s your choice, not your bf’s choice and you should always put your best interests first

This is coming from a 43 yr old woman…. Pick the scholarship. Always put yourself first, especially right now. When you’re older, you may not be able to put yourself first (kids, marriage, etc). Do NOT throw this opportunity away for a guy. I understand you might love him and it’ll hurt for awhile, but if you throw your dream away because someone tells you to chose education over a relationship, you’ll resent him later on down the road. You’ll resent yourself as well.

It's hard to depict. My personal opinion is that you should use your chances. The younger the better.
Also he shouldn't pressure but rather support you.
You're at least not an asshole for simply having and pursuing a dream.

Wow. The sheer fact that he offered you an ultimatum says it's not meant to be for me. He should be happy for you. Never turn down the chance at an education. I can see that he would miss you and he doesnt want you to leave, but his reaction is just wrong.

Choose the scholarship. If he really loved you, he would want whatever is best and would support whatever you wanted to do. Forcing you to choose is showing that he doesn't care what's best for you, just what he wants

You already know the answer and it’s silly to think otherwise. Pick yourself, I mean your Bf is picking himself by giving you an ultimatum. Easy.

NTA lol. You worked hard on this scholarship and this is a really big chance to get a great education/job. (Congrats, btw.)
If your boyfriend really can't see what a big deal that is, he's not worth giving up the scholarship for anyways. Definitely go for it. Good luck :)

Yes you are but only because you felt the need to ask this question on a forum when the answer is so blinking obvious !

NTA at all!!! Definitely choose the scholarship!!
As others have said, he should be supporting you not making you choose!
If you are meant to be together you will find each other again in the future.