My SIL and BIL wanted to take family pictures in their brand new backyard (with no landscaping) in tropical-themed attire. The SIL and BIL went and bought outfits for everyone (without having us try them on, seeing them and not asking our sizes]). I am busty and petite and the dress I have to wear is an XL, deep plunge V (like to the sternum) and it's a wrap dress. I replied EW in the group family message, mostly because I knew it wouldn't be flattering or pretty on me. SIL snap back with, "...it's not a mandatory activity, just something we would like to do for the family. If you can't make it or don't want to participate, that's perfectly fine. The photographer will be there regardless."
This was a last-minute plan and planned on the same day as my best friend's babysitter, which they knew about. I participated and tried it on and fit exactly as I thought, way oversized and I did not look good in it. I said I would not wear it. It then became this whole deal with my MIL calling me and saying we all have to do things we don't want to etc. I felt bullied, coerced, guilt-tripped and bogarted into this dress. I cried because my husband even didn't understand why I didn't want to wear it. AITA because I didn't want to wear something that was ill-fitting, non-flattering and I didn't have any say about it?
#1
No you're not. I get very tired of the line 'you have to do things sometimes you don't want to' because that line gets used to guilt people into things. Yes there are some times that you will do need to do something you don't want to - however a dress you never consented to in an ill-planned photo is not one of those things. Quite frankly just tell everyone we agree to disagree because I'm not going to keep speaking when none of you want to actually listen. You're wasting your breath at this point, don't back down from it but don't continue the argument it's just gonna stress you out.
If people keep trying to bring it up - and you've warned them not to but they still try (someone will most likely) then you get polite petty. I don't know where you're at in the world but a good 'ol 'Aren't you just precious, look at you trying to blow up a hot air balloon by talking to it'. If they insist on poking it you get less polite - and feel free to point out to your MIL that just because she had to force herself to do c**p she didn't like doesn't me you need to, and that the line she keeps using is so out of date that mold stopped growing on it years ago.
45points
#2
NTA. You should choose what you wear. No one else can. Put your foot down and tell them that you will pick what you wear. They are ridiculous if they think anything different.
23points
#3
You have every right to do what's best for you. Don't fall for the guilt trip. 🪛 them all
22points
#4
My OPINION below!
Is this a once in a blue moon get-together? If so why not wear it? You can style it with a belt or other accessories, to make it more you. If your family (and friends) won't mock you for the style up that is. An idea could be having a scarf like belt around the waist and tie it into a bow, some cheap fur, or something poofy and sew it in the v neck area, and IMHO it'd look great, or a great conversation starter!
Yes, your friend was inconsiderate for not asking for sizes, but I honestly don't think anyone including you, was a b******e, because at the end of the day it's your body, and your friend said it was optional too.
I know everyone will probably say "your body your decision" , however relationships are a two way street, you take some and you give some, as someone who can't afford new clothes, I'd love a free dress, that I can alter/tweak it to fit.
So ultimately nta
-6points