Hey Pandas, AITA For Banning My Parents From My House? (Closed)

I would try to bring up this topic when you are all calm and not in the middle of an argument about their noise, etc. Express that you appreciate them and their company but certain boundaries are needed as you're not a kid anymore. To answer your question, I don't think you're doing anything wrong. It's just a sticky situation.

No. You already "gently explained" multiple times.
You have to be firm.
I expect my kids to be respectful of things and mindful.
Everyone does. Just because they might miss you doesn't mean they can come over and disrespect your home.
You are NOT the A-hole.

Part of me wonders if they are doing it on purpose to remind the OP of their actions as a teen. Not defending it, just thinking it might be so.

Robert, sit your parents down and explain gently what you do and don't accept in your home. I think they miss you and you can actually bring this up and talk about it. Maybe try a fixed day once a week or once every whatever for them to pop by. This is hard to deal with because you love them and they clearly don't know how to handle you moving away (I think). Stick a note on the wall with your rules, get curtains ;). Good luck.

Not at all.

In fact, I'll go even further: begin charging your parents money if things begin to go missing or broke in your home because your mother misplaces them, or begin asking them for the difference of your utility bills if they keep racking up so much.

Of course not. I would recommend visiting them rather than them coming to you. Also, like others have mentioned...talk to them about it. If they aren't willing to change then don't answer the door when they come by without calling first. When your mother goes to change something, call her out at the time she's doing it- don't wait until she leaves or call them afterward. Point it out as they do these things. Tell them to sit down. Follow them if they go anywhere but to the bathroom. When they get annoyed by this point out that you wouldn't have to if they simply respected your wishes. And by them blowing it off or acting like it doesn't matter to you, it shows how little they do respect you. If you put it all to them this way, maybe they'll finally stop. Honestly, if my mom moved a single thing in my apartment I'd be so mad! And how dare they touch your thermostat? They are not roommates-- they are visitors. If they don't like the temp then they should not come to visit. Or at least ask first. I'm telling you...call them out as you see them doing it and immediately change anything they do. It might piss them off at first but when you explain that you have to do this because they don't respect your wishes and you will continue doing it, they'll stop. If they don't, then don't feel bad about not letting them in anymore.

You deserve boundaries and your parents should respect that. Try to explain to them that they have their own home and maybe to only come over to yours when invited. It is important to have a conversation with them to explain why you are asking this and to make sure they know that you are a independent person who can live on their own. Let them know that you value their presence but they must ask permission before coming to your house and respect your rules.

You've already spoken to them, they brushed you off. That's a clear signal that they have no intention of changing and they have a poor sense of boundaries.
Instead, visit them or meet somewhere for coffee/picnic/walk/etc. If you need excuses (short of an outright ban), here are a few: "Someone cooked something and it stunk up the whole building"; "The landlord has to do some work"; "The electricity went off and it'll take a few hours to restore it"; "The kid upstairs is practicing the bagpipes and I need to get away."

Your house, your rules.

No.
Did the same 4 years ago.
No contact since then, the other side of the coin.

I pretty much agree with everything said above & that you're NTA, but I do have some questions - do your parents have a key to your apartment & are they coming in when you're not there? Did they contribute any money towards the apartment costs? I'm definitely getting the impression of entitlement on their part. You really need to be very firm with them about their behavior, then get the extra key back if they have one, & set up a repayment plan if they gave you money to get the apartment. And be firm about them only visiting once a week, then ease into fewer visits over time. Good luck!

Nta- They sound inconsiderate

You would not be an a-hole by teaching them to be respectful to you and your neighbours. I can understand is difficult to stand up to the people that raised you. But you know these guys for many years, so you might be aware of their soft spots, the kind of approach you might have for them to compply to your rules. If you really want to have them around, they must follow your rules as well as you followed theirs when you lived under their roof. Good luck and hope you guys can get a compromise.

I'm thinking the joke is on you. Here in the USA there's a funny story we all talk about. It's that we're supposed to live long enough to go to your child's home and do everything that your child did at home growing up.
I've already told my son I plan on opening all windows & doors, stand in front of the open fridge every 20 minutes, leave all lights on....

One s home is one s castle. Either they raised you to take care of yourself and your home or they didn't raise you right. Either way they can behave or be gone.

As a parent of grown children myself, I can sympathise. Your parents were there for you when you were going through a rough patch. You became their child again and they could take you under their wing once more. Now you have left home and they are experiencing empty nest syndrome all over again.
Do you have brothers and sisters or are you an only child?
I would sit down and have an honest chat with them. Perhaps offer to take them out for a meal to thank them for all they did for you when you broke up with your partner. Then explain to them how excited you are to be independent again, that you want to reclaim your life and start again. That means spending more time by yourself, doing your flat up the way you want to and being responsible for yourself.
If that doesn't work then simply take the spare key off them (I am assuming they have one?) and don't be available when they want to come round. Start going out more, to the cinema, to music/comedy gigs, invite friends round and perhaps schedule in a regular event where they either come to you or you go to them so they don't feel pushed out.
It's hard as they were there for you and perhaps feel entitled to reclaim you as their child. They might be lonely together and crave your company again. So if you have brothers and sisters, perhaps they can help you out by spending a little time with their parents too.
Try to see things from their pov and whilst you certainly can't have this situation carrying on, you can make a few compromises too.

Your parents are behaving inappropiatly and you need to find a way to make them change their behavior. But I still think that you should first find another way besides banning them from your house, especially since you been living with them for almost a year after the break-up. (For example tell them to buy you new furniture if they hate your current ones so much, Try foam tape around the doors to deal with the banging lock the thermostat, etc)

Also,they are stilll your parents no matter what and banning them from the house should only be the last option.

NTA, and primary reason being is the neighbors are raising complaints. As those complaints can lead to them going to the landlord/property manager which creates warnings and lease rules issues where you can even get thrown out of your APARTMENT. Being kicked out of one place can and will affect where you can be able to live next. Them causing you to spend extra money on utilities is very childish, and heavily impacts your budget and bottom line.

Not at all. It is YOUR house and YOUR relationships with YOUR neighbors which gives you every right to ban them if they won't respect that.

Are they not treating you how you treated them maybe?