Hey Curious Pandas, Got Questions For The Lgbtqia+ Community? (Closed)

I’ve always thought Lesbian was a female attracted to females and Gay was male attracted to male, but people often refer to women as gay. How does this work?

Why do some in the community have to assume someone is (whatever)phobic as soon as they have a different view than them? I think it rather gives a bad outlook for others of the community.

I am a very curious person and if I met someone I want to get to know them. I ask someone their sexuality, and they took offense. How do I ask someone and be as kind as possible?

I have a question about me, kind of "what is my letter, do I have a letter, aren't I just normal with a side of mental?"

First, I know that labels are not what's important, but I'm confused about me and they can give me a direction.

So, confusion:
1) I always said that I don't fall in love with a gender but with a person. If that person would happen to be female (as me), fine.
2) But I only crushed or fell in love with males.
3) As far as I know...
4) ... because of a lot of mental health c**p I had extrem problems in aknowledging my feelings. First time I could admit to myself that I had a crush on someone was at 18.
5) Since having learned listening to what I need instead of what others want, sex is a big no for me...
6) ...but that may be partly or mainly trauma related

So, am I
1) Pan
2) Hetero
3) Unknown because mental
4) Ace
5) Non-Ace, just mental

?

I have a couple of questions. The first, when did the term q*eer become acceptable? When I was growing up that was considered a negative term for gay and lesbians. Second, what does the "IA" in LGBTQIA stand for? That's new to me. I'm not a part if the LGBTQIA community but I have always believed in treating everyone with respect.